Monday, April 28, 2014


  • At first, I thought Dorothy was not going to go to sleep tonight, and I almost had a panic attack.
  • But now, all is well, and I have enjoyed a DIY pedicure and a stiff drink and an hour of absolute quiet and the newest Ladies Home Journal because I am quite elderly, OBVI.
  •  I did in fact go back to Anthropologie for the shirt I didn't get the other day and I am going to wear it on the plane with m favorite ripped up Gap jeans and my new exceedingly ugly Birkenstocks that I love.
  • If you have any tips for chilling the fuck out on the plane/in the airport that do not involve chemicals (NURSING BABY), I would love to hear them.
  • I am so sick of being constantly bitched at about the Wii U and when it can be played and for how long that I bought a shitload of math flash cards today and from now on, Harrison can get Wii U minutes by impressing me with multiplication and division knowledge.
  • I was going to buy M&Ms to reward Jack for addition and subtraction, but then I realized that time spent with us doing flashcards would be reward enough because he is our most neglected child because he is far and away the best behaved.
  • In kindergarten this morning, I had to make clay snails with the kids and it was really messy and they kept knocking over the drying snails and they drove me CRAZY.
  • Tomorrow is Jack's 6-year well-check, and I am keeping him out of school all morning so we can go to our favorite (and by that I mean mine and Jack's favorite-- nobody else has the same fondness for the place) greasy spoon for breakfast.  We did the same thing last year with newborn Dorothy in tow, and I think it was the most one-on-one time I spent with Jack in a damn year and he still remembers what both of us ordered to eat and drink.
  • I volunteer in his class every week-- it's not like he is growing up on his own in the backyard or anything.
  • Harry and Jack have been watching Travel Channel specials on Disney World and are little walking encyclopedias of amusement park attraction knowledge.
  • Cooper asked to wear his Darth Vader shirt to our Star Wars breakfast.
  • Dorothy did not want to surrender the wooden sticks we were playing with at Little Gym this morning even when we sang the "time to put the sticks away" song, and I had to pry them from her clenched fingers.  She freaked out and started screaming even while we sang the "time to go and play today" song.  Then her teacher put on happy, fun, play-in-the-gym music, and she was compelled to dance because when Dorothy hears music, she cannot help but dance.  But she was still really pissed off about the sticks, so she was also crying.  COGNITIVE DISSONANCE, illustrated.

1 comment:

  1. Ha! Love the visual of a dancing tantrum. I have lots of tips for the plane but I don't want to write a book. Basically, starting now, start visualizing your trip (essentially systematic desensitization.) Also, start developing a relaxation/meditation routine. Again, start now and practice daily. You want it to be pretty easy by the time you're on the plane. Finally, they sell booze on the plane :) Let me know if you want more on any of those. Good luck!