Why Does my Shoulder Hurt, OR What's in my Bag?

 I spent all weekend putting a heating pad on my shoulder and chewing ibuprofen by the handful, which is HILARIOUS to me because the last thing I did on Friday before I left my office was take pics of my giant work bag and everything in it to write another one of those posts that Engie says are full of detail but say nothing (SAVAGE).

ANYWAY, here's the tl;dr in all its l, r-ing glory.

First of all, this purse is just a giant, unstructured tote bag, so it gets SUPER MESSY unless I use an organizer. I have the same bag only older and in checkers with red lining that has been my diaper bag since Cooper was born. I do NOT use an organizer for that one, and it’s just a big hot drippy mess (srsly— water bottles spill in there; it’s full of discarded wet wipes that are still damp; the lip gloss I dredge up from the bottom has tiny bits of Goldfish and hair on it. I have actually SENT IT BACK TO THE COMPANY for a new bottom, but it is AGAIN ripping on the bottom corners (after 13 years of rough use). But this! This is my dedicated work purse, so I am a little more careful with it. (Fun fact: these bags are plastic-coated canvas, not leather).

But! I am not SUPER CAREFUL as you can tell from stains, ink, spills, and crumbs (sometimes I actually vacuum it out, but on this occasion, I just banged it over the trash can a few times). (And! I think that’s really just fine. Bags are USEFUL, and I have USED THE HECK out of this one and its predecessor).

First of all, I keep a bunch of stuff in the zipper pocket of this bag (that is lined, so it would be a pretty ok spot for pens or anything else you want to keep contained/is prone to leaking).

I have like $3 in case I want a pack of gum, tampons in case my period comes back (IT HAS BEEN 115 DAYS— I am not crossing my fingers), hand lotion, chap stick, mascara, a hair tie, blush, neutral eye shadow, and a brush to either apply eye shadow or smooth out what I am already wearing because it settles into my wrinkles pretty aggressively. I also have a tube of cheapy eye cream in there because sometimes, I just look haggy and parched, you know? 

Next, I always have my computer, my iPad, and a bunch of power cords that I carry in one of those In Case zipper pouches. It is bigger than my current computer (from an ancient Mack Book Pro) and works for both devices and all the cords

To stop exploding pens from causing further ruin and to attempt to be able to find my my stuff, I bought one of THESE organizers after an IG stylist I follow recommended them.

This organizer is a LIFESAVER, and I wish I had one for my diaper bag all those years ago (TOO LATE NOW).

Here’s the tremendous amount of stuff it holds:

Pens and washi tape for my planner

Reading glasses (I have 2 pairs of identical readers, and these live in my work bag) and sunglasses. I HAVE A TYPE, OKAY?

My Kindle (fits right in a pocket!!)

Mostly pink lipsticks, a couple of hair ties and a tiny claw clip

MOAR hand lotion and a giant hand sani 

A kid hair tie, a clear hair tie, taco bandaids, and a single Bobby pin (LOL)

But seriously! My organizer makes that stuff look legit

Unlike my 2011 diaper bag version, the 2022 Neverfull comes with a cute little wristlet that you can attach to the inside of the bag OR wear around your wrist in a loop. That’s where I keep my keys, AirPods, phone, a hair tie, and another freaking lip balm (this one is by Tarte and has a hint of color- LOVE IT)- anything I would like to pull out of the bag and take with me on a walk or a trip down the hall.

Plus— LOL— a real folder of old timey paper

AND! An actual NOTE BOOK!

BUT SERIOUSLY, my shoulder hurts just looking at all the STUFF.

And! I didn’t even count my water bottle!

What about you— what’s in your work bag? (I might do this again about my mom bag)

Just Another Money Monday

Part 1, written Monday, September 29  

GROCERIES. Ok. This week, I bought A TON of snacks because the last couple of weeks, I have been running out for snacks which snowballs into ALL OF THE THINGS. So. Ok. I spent $370 on groceries and $52 on random household stuff, and this what I got.

What I would like to do is eliminate single-use plastic use from my life. But in the meantime. Look at all this plastic! (I hate the giant laundry detergent containers even though we use a giant amount of laundry detergent because we keep our detergent on top of the washer, and the big containers fall off and break everywhere. So. Small it is).

More plastic! And only a couple of bathroom grooming items missing. You can pry the $3 hairspray from Ben’s cold, dead, sticky hands.

Laundry room snacks for people to grab on their way out the door:

Beverages for the downstairs fridge:

Just a couple of frozens— the kids are on a waffles and ice cream sandwich kick; Cooper loves Jack’s pizzas (lol), and Jack takes Uncrustables for lunch on the days he has clubs.

I was pretty well-stocked in terms of baking essentials, but I can always use chocolate chips and a brownie mix— also we are on an M&M cookie roll.

More snacks! And random pantry things. THIS TIME I DID NOT FORGET THE CHEEZ ITS. Also Cooper is eating more than 20 apple sauce pouches a week but almost no actual fruit. NEAT. Those Nature’s Bakery brownies have a ton of dates, tho. **eye roll** Oh! We are on a chocolate pretzel tear as well Here you might be able to spy 2 bags of white chocolate ones, and I bought milk chocolate ones at another store the other day. Dorothy also eats freeze dried strawberries at an alarming rate, hence 2 bags. These are cheapest at Trader Joe’s (ditto the pretzels) but it is not possible to shop there on football game days, so…

Fresh stuff. People are Very Into Chobani Flips right now. I bought a tub of vanilla too because maybe when the Flips run out they can make smoothies? Cooper and Dorothy are drinking either Naked Juice smoothies (SO MUCH SUGAR) or CorePower chocolate milks en route to their activities (this is working well with granola bars or those date brownies I mentioned and applesauce or strawberries). This whole category is mostly just various forms of cheese with some bagels, bread (I like it in the fridge) guacamole, and salsa thrown in for color.

Produce. This seemed lighter than usual to me, but we already had peaches and strawberries and a couple of salad kits, so I bought a little less than usual.

Dinner ingredients

I made another veggie lasagna and also a pan of bean, rice, cheese, and veggie enchiladas. We can coast on the leftovers through the first couple busy days of the week,  and then we have French bread for oven baked grilled cheese with garden tomatoes; eggs, bacon, fruit, etc, for breakfast for dinner; dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets with boxed mac and cheese and broccoli… and that should take us to the weekend when we’ll probably buy new veggies to go with impossible burgers and fries.

This is about what we spend a week at the store, but then we also spend up to that amount AGAIN in one-off trips— which is what I’d like to target and cut back on this week. CAN I DO IT? And, more importantly, can I do it without ending up with bare cupboards which I think will ultimately be worse to restock?

Part 2, written Friday, October 4.

UGH the sneaky spending! Random charges for things I didn’t even know I was subscribed to and also magazines set on auto-renew! More dishwasher repair (fixed! And! So is our ice maker!)! Just under $100 of kid-related (non-food) pop ups! My miracle face cream subscription arrived this week (WORTH IT) and I changed our Subscribe and Save to the first of the month (even though we just got it LAST WEEK LOL great planning Sarah).

BUT. ZERO ZERO ZERO extra trips out for stuff (except I did need another gallon of milk, and I also bought toilet paper because I saw a FB post about how you should not hoard toilet paper in the wake of the longshoremen strike, so I immediately bought toilet paper because I AM THE PROBLEM.) (Also, agreement reached, so I can probably stop hoarding but might not).

I even made REAL macaroni and cheese instead of boxed. And also pizza roll ups, which the kids did not love but I need to try again because they SHOULD by all measures. (I used a tube of crust, not crescent rolls, and the proportion was off). 

We did need to buy weekend dinner food (but we knew we would).

The ONLY impulse buy this week was a $5 book of color-your-own Halloween stickers from Target, and Minnie, Dorothy, and I all enjoyed them.

All told, we were still WAY OVER BUDGET. So that’s one week roughly on budget, one week way way over, and one week way over. I am starting to think the budget itself is flawed?

Part 3, written a little later on Friday

MOTHER *%^@$#.

RIGHT AFTER I wrote that previous paragraph, we spent SEVERAL HUNDRED DOLLARS on a kid sports thing. And we are now way, way over again, instead of just way over. But! 3 good things came out of those dollars (well, four because the sports thing is also good). 

    1. I was like BEN! I say this all the time about an extra dance opportunity and you are like no that's dumb, so NOW DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEEEEEEAAAAN? And he was like oh yeah, I do see what you mean because he signed up for the thing so Cooper wouldn't feel left out if all his friends signed up, and that's ALWAYS my dance argument.

2. Ben was like oh, I don't really feel like we should count the whole amount this week. It's more like counting 1/4 every time the clinic occurs, and I was like DUDE. THAT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING ABOUT MY FREAKING SUBSCRIPTIONS. And he was like oh, I see that now... (we ultimately counted it for this week, but at least we UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER).

3. We both realized we need to make a more nuanced argument against a thing we don't want to buy that the other person wants. Like, saying WE DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR X is not at all helpful because we do probably have money for it, it's just that one person doesn't want to spend it. And instead of shutting down the conversation with that phrase, the spending-averse person should articulate their reasons against the spending. In this case, we of course bought the sports experience thing, but really only because I want to be able to rely on the bandwagon fallacy (ALL HER FRIENDS ARE DOING IT) next time a dance thing comes up.

 

5 on a Friday: A Little Reframing (40/52)

 YOU GUYS. If 2024 were pregnant, she would be in her LAST TRIMESTER. TWELVE WEEKS TO GOOOOOOOOO!

I was inspired by Elisabeth's Happy Things' first birthday post to try to practice some radical positivity of my own. #OkayestLifeSoon. I also listened to a few episodes of Happier with Gretchen Rubin and was reminded of the genius of reframing something that is negative to make it positive. In particular, Gretchen was talking about how much she resented being a slave to her calendar before she realized that LIFE IS SCHEDULING-- a genius reframe.

Here are a few of my own attempts to take something that is not working for me and make it sound better (which will make it be better if the scholars in my discipline are to be believed).

1. HEY! You GUYS! Instead of COMPLAINING ABOUT BUS LANES AND CONSTRUCTION AND COMMUTE TIME-- what if I ... RODE THE BUS TO WORK SOMETIMES?!?! This will only work on days that Ben is home because it seems not ideal to me to be 30 minutes from home with no car when I am the only parent in town and the kids are at various schools. But! That's not EVERY DAY. And I can READ A BOOK or do a little work on the way to and from campus-- i am going to pick up my bus pass and give the new east/west bus rapid transit line a shot.

2.We have a kid who keeps NOT TURNING IN WORK, and it is driving me bananas. The very best thing about Harry being in college is that his work is not my problem anymore. It doesn't concern me at all if he turns it in. No one is sending me notices if he doesn't turn it in. I cannot even legally access his grades. It is a freaking dream. I don't think I realized how terrible all the missing work notifications have been over the years until his stopped coming. But now! The problem is happening all over again. And! The kid in question! Just thinks, like, if he doesn't turn in the assignment, it will just go away. BUT OF COURSE IT WILL NOT. Sometimes, the work is not done and the kid does not want to do it because it is too boring/too difficult/too tedious/too hard to get started. Other times, the work is lost.  But! The kid's reaction is the same: burying his head in the sand until I get a notification from the school's LMS that it is missing and nag him to turn it in.  So, here's the reframe: The idea that you have to do work when it is assigned even if you don't want to and that the work is important enough to pay attention to after completion all the way through DELIVERY is a LIFE SKILL, so if he learns it now, he'll be more successful, like, FOREVER. He is also learning through repeated trial and error that he is much more digitally organized than he is organized on paper, so knowing this before college is also a wonderful, useful discovery In some ways, the stakes are really high in high school because it feels like everything matters so much. But-- really--there is a college out there for every student who wants to find one and lots of different paths to post high school success. He'll be fine-- better than fine-- and learning these life skills NOW with so much support is a huge benefit.

3. The dishwasher? While FIXED, is maybe not the Completely Vital appliance I thought it was. I mean, listen-- I love it. And the kids did a pooor job of cleaning up their breakfast mess the other day, and I could clean it up SO FAST because I just needed to LOAD THE DISHWASHER. This was delightful. But also! I washed lunch dishes after Minnie and I ate the other day, and it was NBD. So, I mean, yes I heart the dishwasher, but not having one (or not using it as often) is OK, too. WEIRD.

4. Tracking our spending is making Ben and me understand each other better. What a great bonus! We are finding all of this completely random stuff we never noticed before. Magazines that auto-renew. Political contributions that we thought were 1-time and actually recur. Getting double-billed for 2 separate Apple services. I spent $52 on these rando charges today but actively purchased NOTHING. It's like we have both been right this whole time. We do spend a shit ton of money day-to-day (Ben) and we also never really buy anything (me).

5. It's delightful to be so busy and go to work every day because on the rare day that I can work from home, I enjoy the living heck out of the whole experience. It's like how wearing a girdle is almost worth it for the feeling of taking it off at the end of the day.

COOL BLOGGER WALKING CLUUUUUUUUB!!!

Life Lately

 I spend SO MUCH TIME complaining about how busy we are, but really? This year’s schedule has been SO EASY to slide into. I complain A LOT about our middle school start and end times (9am-4:25 pm— what the hell), but! Dorothy and Coop leave for the bus the same time I need to take Minnie to school (which is the VERY MOST PERFECT TIME for me to leave for campus), and we don’t even have to RUSH in the morning. A month-ish in, and we are VERY HAPPY and can even open the windows to enjoy the perfect warm fall weather without fearing that our neighbors will hear civil war sounds.

No, those ARE happy faces (they are a tween and teen respectively).

Morning bustling:

Minnie LOVES to putter around with crafts or even leftover papers from school in the morning

She has also been wearing some ideal fits, including her flower girl dress

The evening pick ups are… hectic. That’s maybe one time of day that I am just not loving it. But! I did not expect to love it. Right now, since the weather is so good, we are doing lots of dance studio picnics. And! Since the dishwasher is broken (THIRD TIME IN FOUR YEARS), we have actually been just eating wherever we can that’s not home.

I had to take the girls with me to drive diving friends home on Thursday, which is usually Ben’s job, but he had to be on his campus for a meeting and didn’t come home until Friday. So! We paired the outing with ice cream— so fun!

Speaking of Ben— his campus is gorgeous!

A few more random tidbits:

Car pool faces

Oriental Trading Company— WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE??

These darling mugs are WORTH an early wake time

Toy catalogs are commmmmming!!! Minnie wants a Barbie Dream House- first kid since Jack to ask for it (Jack actually wanted—- and got— the MALIBU dream house, but it did not survive for his little sister to enjoy)

Oh, fall! I love it with an Anne Shirley kind of exaggeration.

YES TO ALL THE COOKIES YOU GUYS.

Look at these cute little LUNCH PACKERS— doing it the night before even

HOCO kid— he went with the same smart funny group of friends he has been hanging out with since middle school, including a girl down the street who was in every single one of his elementary school classes. It’s too cute, really. He’s too cute, really.