5 on a Friday: Notes from the first “week” of school (36/52)

 

1. Dorothy and Coop’s playground is really fun at pickup time, but they might die of embarrassment if they see us playing. 

Also! It is not possible in horrible Madison traffic to get Dorothy and Cooper where they need to be after school when they need to be there. I feel just incredible rage about this for a couple of reasons.

 First, our terrible mayor (who cannot even make sure the snow gets plowed) is pushing a rapid transit bus line. I get how EVENTUALLY this might make traffic better, but right now? It is HORRIBLE. Every road is clogged. No one can figure out bus only lanes. It took me 35 minutes to drive 3 miles yesterday to test our after school route. Mass transit is not yet reliable enough for me to take it to work with 4 kids in 3 schools and an out of town spouse, and I cannot be alone in this situation- so there are TONS OF CARS and less space for us. It’s awful and SO PREVENTABLE. 

Second, the kids have a ridiculous school schedule. HOW CAN KIDS BE IN SCHOOL UNTIL 4:25??? It is bananas. All of the neighboring districts get out a normal time, so activities are on their schedule (WHICH I GET), so only Maddison school kids are getting squeezed out of their club sports. SO STOOOPID. And! THE MORNING BUS is not even RUNNING ON TIME and part of the reason for the dumb bell schedule is shared bussing. 

And! MMSD wants big bucks for a referendum and is threatening austerity if they don’t get their money, as is the city who wants a huge property tax increase. And yet! I look at a district who’s got big problems managing funds and large contracts — like for the BUSSES— and a city that has made my life noticeably WORSE in terms of roads and traffic, and I just… don’t want to give them my money.

 If only I weren’t trapped by the housing market in a house with an inflated value that seems awesome until you try to buy a new house in a city whose roads are drivable THAT IS EVEN MORE INFLATED and also I’d have to drive to Madison from there anyway (but maybe AN HOUR EARLIER IN THE AFTERNOON). 

It’s a major frustration/happiness stumbling block. 

I can be zen about my shitty morning drive because it is just me in the car, and I have entertainment and solitude. But the witching hour drive with all the kids who are hungry and so much traffic and GAHHHH. I cannot imagine doing this 5 days a week for the next 10 months, especially in snow and rain.

2. I forgot how delightful Minnie is 1:1. We are having so much fun!! I do need to figure out how to be ready in all ways for our evening slog, especially knowing that she is really touchy that time of day…

3.  THESE granola bars are delish, but I seem to be the only one who thinks so **eye roll**.

4. Jack!! Just **drives away** by himself in the morning. He even ran to Target to collect my pick up order the other night. WHEN DID HE GROW UP???? 

5. Oh my gosh! I have had horrible redness around my nose/between my nose and my lip lately, and all moisturizer with sunscreen aggravates the hell out of it (Augustinus Bader cream is fine at night but has no sunscreen). I assumed it was a rosacea flair and bought some green SPF primer from Clinique. But then! I thought maaaaaybe it is actually an eczema flair because it looks like Minnie's sometimes does. SO! I have been putting Cereve ointment (the Vaseline looking kind in the huge tub) that I have used on Minnie every day of her life since she was 3 weeks old (seh is a SEAL you guys-- so buttery) on it with the Bader cream at night and before the Clinique stuff in the daytime, and I look ALMOST NORMAL AGAIN, which is good because I love my Tarte SPF tinted moisturizer, but it irritates my face something fierce. No I go lube, primer, Tarte, and it looks pretty good. Which is to say it looks how I used to look at the time with no effort when I was younger **head desk**

Fall Rhythm Wish List

 We have a very graduated start to fall. Dorothy and Minnie had their first days on Tuesday, and Coop and Jack joined them on Wednesday (our school district has a day where the youngest kids at each level get a whole day in the building by themselves. Dorothy’s 6th grade class spent the day learning each other’s names, decorating their lockers and binders, meeting the school chickens, and sampling produce from the school garden. Minnie goes to private preschool).

 Next week, Cooper starts dive, and the following week, we add in dance. Then, we have a few weeks to figure our stuff out before Minnie’s tap/ballet class begins. Jack is trying out for the fall play this week, so that could add another layer. My own class is hybrid, so I have my own rolling start before my first in-person lecture, but my course admin duties started a few weeks ago.

As we slow roll into the swing of things, I can see a couple of hiccups on the horizon that I want to work on smoothing out.

1. Dinner. 

Dorothy and Cooper get out of school at 4:25pm (!!!!!) and then go straight to their stuff. 

On Mondays, they get out a tad earlier, and Ben is having them ride the bus home (I would pick them up if it were me, but I will be on campus), so he will figure out their food situation, and I will pack for myself to drive the dive carpool home. 

Tuesdays, we will go straight to diving, so Coop will eat in the car, have a snack in his bag, and then eat at home. Dorothy and Minnie and I will eat somewhere out after we drop him and then hang out at the dance studio because Dorothy only has tap class.

 Wednesday is dicey. I think Jack takes Dorothy while I take Cooper and then either Jack stays at dance and brings her home after one single jazz class and the 4 of us eat while we wait for Coop to come home OR Jack does some other thing after he drops her off, and Minnie and I do a loop and pick Dorothy up from dance after we drop Cooper off. Again, he will eat a car snack, pack a snack, and eat his real meal at home.

 Thursday is bananas. Dorothy has dance five minutes after dismissal (SHE WILL BE LATE, OBVI), and I will take her to dance and then Coop to dive after (HE WILL ALSO BE LATE, OBVI) (Another snack in the car, snack on the deck, real food late night for him). Minnie and I will have dinner with Jack (his schedule depending) and then go get Dorothy. (Maybe Thursdays Jack can cook?) Ben drives the dive carpool home. Maybe Minnie can chill with Jack during the dance collection leg?? Maybe Thursday is late night date night for Ben and me and everyone else (besides Minnie) puts themselves to bed? 

Friday is a ballet night over the dinner hour, so “late” pizza Fridays at like 6:20? Fam dinner out night? 

2. Mornings

I need to hit my times in the morning to meet all my goals:

• Wipe down all 3 bathrooms
• Make sure all bedrooms are tidy, beds made, etc (I don’t have to do this all over the house— it’s a managerial role, mostly)
• At least 45 minutes of cardio
• At least 15 minutes of yoga
• Spot check breakfast clean up
• Leave the house dressed and made up, with a water bottle
• Laundry prepped for folding and putting away (this means Nighttime Sarah needs to run a load or two) (and prepped means mostly all washed and dried and thrown on Ben’s bed with a load in the dryer and maaaaybe some sheets in the washer) (Much easier without Ben midweek and with Harry doing his own (or not!) a couple hundred miles away).

By “hit my times” I mean that I outlined a perfect routine and time stamped it, so if I see myself taking too long at certain points, I can try to course correct before it is 8:15, and I am still in my jammies and preschool is waiting. I also had to build in time to lay in bed with coffee and play Spelling Bee.

Jack leaves before 8 to pick up a friend on the way to school. Cooper and Dorothy catch the bus at the same time Minnie and I need to leave for preschool (and the bus has a tracker app, so this should work out OK), and then I am freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Until the pick ups begin.

I need to try a bunch of different commute routes (ALL SHITTY) and then figure out the one that is the best of my bad choices. Today's made me stabby.

3. Library

I have been forgetting to get my holds before they expire. And these are holds I got on the list for months before release so I could get them right away and now I am like number 300 again.I just cannot find a way to make library time work because Minnie gets sick when she hits up the kiddie room. Maybe she and I can do a look-but-don’t-touch book grab one afternoon a week? Saturdays solo? This is occupying too much brain space, so I gotta figure it out, but maybe not soon because it feels like I will never have time read again anyway.

4. Nutrition

Not really related to dinners, I am not happy with my eating habits lately but also am not changing them. THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING. I have no ideas about how to fix, but I am flagging it as a problem.

5. TV.

I have completely stopped watching TV in the middle of our Hacks season 3 binge, our fam Dance Moms marathon seshes, and Big Brother. What the heck! I really want to get back in the habit of family viewing, but there just isn’t any time (that I want to waste in front of the TV). I think we need to find more leisure generally, but this will happen, I think, with NO HOCKEY and a really really low-key tournament baseball team that is on hiatus until January.

Here are a few things I am NOT making time for this fall:

NO LIST

Coffee out (except the one day a week I drive C and D to school)

Packing lunches (Minnie is not doing lunch at school this year, and the big 3 can fend for themselves or buy lunch)

Social media in the morning/getting sucked into the scroll

And, finally, here are a few things I am looking at adding to my life:

THINKING ABOUT

Resistance band at home arms

Weights

Campus gym

Barre class

WHAT A WEEKEND: College drop, mall of America, family wedding, end of summer

 This weekend was HUGE, and we had so much happening that I am going to give up all pretense of narrative thread and just use big headings like an undergraduate writing a term paper.

COLLEGE DROP

Dropping BABY HARRY at UW-Eau CLaire went great. Sure, we had a bickering fight (mostly Ben and me) right before we left but that is normal for our family because we like to use our words to express ourselves, so it was the only way we really could have kicked doff our weekend you know? Everyone acted like we were killing them slowly by asking 3 kids to sit together on a bench of seats made for 3 people, and a couple of people were annoyed that they could not pack their personal cords and chargers and device peripherals in a pack pack because space in the car was a little tight for the first leg of our journey and we asked people to either throw stuff in our bags or take something smaller. BUT WE PERSEVERED.

The very first thing we did was hit up a local sports bar and eat SO MUCH GARBAGE. I also had a Very Large beer, and this is a definite pro tip, so remember it when it’s your turn: Steps 1 and 2: Giant lunch. Giant beer. (Bonus points for leftovers for you kid’s dorm fridge).

Ben dropped Harry and me about a half mile from the dorm and took the other kids to grab a Target pick up order we placed from Madison for pick up on Eau Claire, and that was **chef’s kiss**. I had tome to make Harry’s loft bed and help him finish unpacking the rest of his stuff from last weekend and the final duffel bag he brought on Saturday, and we even sorted his stuff into piles while we waited for the shelving cubes, drawer storage, and rolling cart to arrive. I met his roommate and his roommate’s buddy, and Ben showed up with the rest of the stuff and kids to help carry it up (one trip!) at the perfect moment. We said goodbye, handed Harry some cash, and got the heck out of there.

Ben went back upstairs to throw a wiffle golf ball at Harry (they did this to each other for days and tried to catch the other person off guard, and he brought one in his pocket for one more gotcha), but when he got there, Harry’s door was open, and his roommate was back, and the two of them were assembling shelves with his roommate’s tools, and other people were milling the hall and dropping in on each other’s rooms, and Ben snuck away.

Last night at home: sushi and euchre. We played 3 games (eat to 10 points) so Harry could be everyone’s partner and started the weekend exhausted.

Penultimate night home: we met the boys at the golf course restaurant for diner and (yes) cards.

MOVE IN DAY final porch pic

Last bedroom pic!

LUUUUNCH

DID YOU SEE THE CURD THE SIZE OF MY HAND?! Divine!

Ok, so move-in mom uniform seems to be cut offs and a college t-shirt. I also tried tall socks like the kids (stole them from Dorothy in fact) and like it a lot!

How many times will Harry wake up and bang his head on the ceiling?

He sent us this pic of all his storage stuff storing stuff:

It is SO WEIRD that you just… drive way and leave your kid someplace after 18 years of constant helicoptering. THANK GOD FOR LIFE 360 (it’s me hi I’m the problem it’s me).

WEDDING REHEARSAL 

We drove an hour or so past Eau Claire (kids were like so happy to be riding 2 in the 3rd row; it was bananas) to my cousin’s wedding. We shucked off our sweaty move in clothes and made it just in time to the lovely rehearsal dinner at the cutest little bar on the cutest little street in St. Paul. I haven’t been to a big family thing on my mom’s side since Thanksgiving pre-Covid, so this was Minnie’s first time to meet a lot of relatives. She is still not sure that my twin uncles are two people, actually. I kept expecting to bump into my dad, so that was sad— I could just imagine him there the whole time because I can’t remember a big family function (that last thanksgiving is the exception) without him. The panny really delayed a lot of that grief for me because, yes, it has been 5 years, but we did not see anyone for a few in the middle. Plus, I love weddings. The idea of speaking yourself into being is so appealing to someone who studies the power of words for a living. I also missed my grandparents who doted on Molly and were so delighted to have a late-in-life grandkid when the rest of us were past the cute age. They would have loved her wedding and seeing her so grown up and beautiful.

My cousin and I drank classic cocktails in Bomma’s honor (and also because, um, that’s just what we drink).

Aaaaaand a big photo dump:

MALL OF AMERICA

The kids had plate after plate of hotel breakfast (suckers for waffles, all of them) and we spent a rowdy hour at the hotel pool on wedding morning

But then! We took a consumerist detour and shopped til we dropped! 

Ben and I both agreed that MoA is a VACATION DESTINATION, and we FOR SURE want to go back. If you have fond memories of malls from your 1990s life, you need to go to there. CINNABON IS THERE. It is a time warp in the BEST WAY. Also, Dorothy FINALLY found clothes she likes at Abercrombie Kids, and now I can order them online with confidence. (She is so teeny that the 000 short at American Eagle is too big. She is limited to Athleta Girl and Lulu, with the occasional Target find or Von Maur juniors item— maaaaybe something from kids at Von Maur but that’s a unicorn, and, sometimes, she wants a variety, and she is very picky, so she needs to try stuff on first. Phew! What sentence structure! And I didn’t even mention the Nickelodeon theme park in the middle. It’s a campy delight, the whole thing. And no sales tax!

We hit up a Whole Foods for pizza, sushi, and wraps to eat at the hotel (after gorging ourselves on mall sweets) and got dressed SO FAST for the wedding.This is where I made a terrible mistake. While Dorothy was relaxing in our room (we had a girls’ room and a boys’ room, and this was perfect), I decided to wash my face and start my makeup from scratch. BUT! I brought waterproof mascara and eyeliner, and they WOULD NOT come off. I had to use this Clinique makeup remover goop, and I got some in my eye, and it was red and swollen and weeping (just the right eye!) all night long. YUCK.

And then of course I did cry because weddings and my judge cousin and lawyer brother officiating and looking so adult and cute flower kids and strong golf course cocktails just like the ones at home and all of the things.

WEDDING!

END OF SUMMER

You bet your bottom dollar that we drove right back through Eau Claire and took Harry out for coffee before helicoptering back to Madison for the last! Whistle! Of! The! Season! At the pool (the pool that we will miss until we see it next May which I am sure will feel like no time because I am old and time is slipping through the hour glass at an alarming rate).

They boys golfed, and the girls had some s/more and just like that: SUMMER IS OVER!

LOL at their faces.