Friday, April 28, 2017

POTY: The Podcast for Parents of the Year

Episode 5 is ready to go!  You should listen to it on iTunes.  iTunes is also where you can subscribe and also RATE US, both things we would love you to do.  This week we are talking about raising kids with ADHD.

As you might remember from last year and the year before, April is Skirt A Thon, where a group of (mostly) academic women pledge to wear skirts every work day of the month, and we post pictures of ourselves to our secret Facebook group.  It's a fun, feminist space,and I have had the best time participating in that community.  Because my vanity knows no bounds, I'll show you my pics because OF COURSE I WILL.  As usual, the days I work from home were the most challenging-- it's hard to wear a skirt to the library with a bunch of kids, KWIM?

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

 Week 4:

Thursday, April 27, 2017

So much coffee

It's winter again, you guys.  SNOW this morning, even  What the hell.

In other WHAT THE HELL news, I have this weird twisted lip face I always make in selfies, which I THINK mean that I am too fucking old to take selfies.  Also too vain to stop.  Also, do these glasses hide mu under eye circles because HOLY SHIT I am so tired?
 Genius breakfast because I cannot even eat more eggs right now:
 This fucking bear.  Dorothy calls it Amy Duncan (because every time I tell Jack to play with her they watch Good Luck Charlie, but I am a total MOTY and don't care because they are leaving me alone), but I have named it CONFLICT BEAR.
 Come closer, and I will tell you about Conflict Bear.

Dorothy and Cooper and I were at Wal Mart (I know I should not shop there but sometimes I need really cheap stuff) picking up dance tights and a new leotard and eggs-- and I mean literally picking them up because I swung by to buy them on my way to get the kids from preschool and got all the way to the check out line before I realized I didn't have my wallet in my purse.  So, awesomely, I got to get the kids, go home, get my wallet, go to Wal Mart with the kids, and then cram in all the household chores I needed to do before dance class which was SO RELAXING AND AWESOME.

Every time we go to Wal Mart (which is not very often because I have a social conscience and I never go to Hobby Lobby or Chik-Fil-A so LEAVE ME ALONE), Dorothy  and Cooper ask for quarters for the claw machine so they can try to grab stuffed animals, and I never say yes.  Only this time, they saw that my wallet full of quarters, and I felt unreasonable saying no (and I only had quarters because I didn't have time to park in my garage the other day and had to get like $20 worth at the business school), so I gave them each $.50.

Dorothy pulled Conflict Bear out on the first try.

And then I fed the entire remaining $19 into the machine for Cooper and never grabbed another thing.  OF COURSE.

I tried to tell him that no one ever wins anything out of those machines, but he was just looking at Conflict Bear and then looking at me like WTAF?  There were tears.  Donuts helped.

I love that Dorothy doesn't care that her arms are not raised like EVERYONE ELSE'S.  This recital is going to be amazeballs.
 Harry had a historical fiction book fair yesterday.  He read a book about the Sudan civil war
 And made this scary ass timeline illustrated with nuclear bombs.  I tried to tell him that it wasn't that kind of war.
 He has a HUGE fan club.
 I know you should never pick up hitchhikers, but this one looked low on the axe-murdery scale.
 Ok.  I know I should not have any more babies because my house is too small and money will be too tight and I am too old and miscarriages SUCK SO BAD and also global warming, but you guys.  I don't know how I am going to cope with no more squishy little children with dimpled knuckles and elbows and fat fingers and round cheeks.
 Who are captivated by magic pattern sheets.  I just love them so much.
 Jack took this action shot and texted it to me-- ha!
 Jack got this book for his birthday, and we tried our first recipe yesterday.
 He misread butter as peanut butter, so we used regular butter AND PB on accident, and it was a very happy accident (if you do this, add a smidge more flour to compensate for the sticky-- not sure how much-- I just dumped a bit until the dough was the right texture)
 They were so gooey and delicious, and we ate them playing Skip Bo, so now all the cards are basically ruined.
 She wanted to wear my lipstick.  How could I refuse?
 Ben's work uniform.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Story Time, Stride Rite, and Rice Krispie Treats

Have I mentioned how much I love Story Time at the library?  I am pretty sure I have because I really do.  I continue-- like, each week-- to be amazed and annoyed that I never took any of the other kids to Story Time.  It's basically a meat market for moms-- so many friend hook ups happening, but not really for me because I am by far the oldest person there, and Dorothy is one of the oldest kids-- or, she's the oldest kid without a baby sibling anyway.  But 5 or 10 years ago, I am sure I could have made a pack of mom BFFs.

This week after the library-- the theme of the day was boats, something Dorothy was not too jazzed about until she mad the craft, which was a cute little paper sailboat that she could"sail" on a blue butcher paper lake--we made the day even more fun by going shoe shopping.

Dorothy tried on every pair of shoes at Stride Rite, and I was really hoping she;d go with these machine washable (!!!!!) See Kai Run sandals.
Instead, she was literally jumping for joy to discover a pair of Phibians in her size
They match nothing she owns, which is awesome.
I think I bought too many cuties in my desire to eat healthy and lose weight. But, I mean, I could eat this entire basket and still be eating less than I was before the Whole30.
Speaking of eating, we made Rice Krispie treats, and they were all gone in like 4 hours.
I am in love with how seriously Cooper takes his work.  He's the sweetest. Also, Dorothy wore that headband all day, like it was NBD.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Weekend Catch Up

Saturday morning, I got up early (after a week of getting up early, which was actually pretty rough) to judge a paper competition for the National History Day state tournament.  I cannot say enough good things about this whole ordeal.  The students in my group were in middle school, and they wrote amazing little papers with copious endnotes and appendices and primary sources-- so impressive.  My fellow judges were lovely oder women who were historians and teachers, and we got to interview each author for 15 minutes, which was just about the cutest thing that has ever happened in my life, and I live with 4 really cute kids.  Remind me to volunteer next year, and you should see about programs in your state, too.

But!  Before I left, Harry came in from walking the dog all fake weepy to ell us that he somehow tripped and his Under Armor sandal just up an flew into the sewer.  I think he wanted us to not be pissed off and to immediately jump on Zappos and flush another $30 down the toilet.  But then we surprised him and were just totally indifferent about the whole thing.  He did not know what to make of our reaction.  We were like well, dude, your birthday is in June.  Maybe you can get more sandals then.  **shrug**  Chipper little Jack, though, suggested they use a fishing pole to get it out, and I snapped this pic on my way to campus.  (Turns out, they needed to attach a straightened-out wire hanger to the end of Ben's hockey stick to get both the shoe AND the fishing pole, but they had a ton of fun doing this).
Meanwhile, I was so impressed with myself for being on time and dressed like a grown up that I took a picture of my reflection right there on the street because my vanity knows no bounds.
I came home to a Flinstonian platter of ribs (3 racks!) that everyone demolished, especially Harry.
I have been nervous about Sunday for quite awhile, ever since Ben signed up to coach Dorothy and Cooper's soccer team, because their first game overlapped with Harry's first Little League game, which ben was also coaching, meaning I would have to coach soccer for half the game.  Which, seriously, is a terrible idea.  I have never even played soccer.  Luckily, a dad stepped in to help me out, and the Rockets were kicking some major ass when Ben got there, at which time, I retired to the playground with Jack and my excellent book while Harry jumped into the middle of a rowdy football game with kids he had never met before because he will never not play football.  (Also, his team lost 13-3, but Harry stole a base and got a run and an RBI).

Cooper and Dorothy loved soccer.
After the game, Cooper came running to the play ground brandishing a bag of Skinny Pop and a Capri Sun and screamed, "I scored a GOAL in my FIRST GAME and I got this snack FOR FREE!"
Against our better judgement, we took the kids out for dinner after the game.

It was, um, loud.

Monday, April 24, 2017

Jack's 9th Birthday Sleep UNDER

You guys!  A Sleep UNDER birthday party is GENIUS and ideal for kids who want to invite the whole class, which would be really unwieldy for a sleepover (not that the whole class could come, but still, we had 9 which is more than I would like to have for a sleepover.)

Friday, April 21, 2017

Birthday party day. Gulp!

Okay, universe.  I need some positive vibes that Jack's birthday party won't be a disaster and some even more positive vibes that Sunday soccer won't be a disaster because BEN IS COACHING LITTLE LEAGUE AND LEAVING ME TO COACH THE SOCCER TEAM.  Can I get a what the eff?  I think everyone knows what kind of an athlete I am.  WHICH IS NOT AN ATHLETE AT ALL.

Jack is having a movie party in our basement tonight that Cooper really wants to go to, but Cooper is not invited because he can not act like a rational human being around the older boys and their friends.  So.  That's going to be SO FUN.

Last night he cried for over an hour when we asked him what he wanted to do during Jack's party.  We gave him 4 choices:  watch a movie upstairs with us-- any movie he wanted, go play mini golf with ben and Dorothy, go see Lego Batman at the dollar theater, go see Beauty and the Beass at the regular theater.  THOSE ALL SOUND REALLY FUN TO ME.  But they all made him sob.

He thinks he might deign to watch The Secret Life of Pets with me and Ben and Dorothy, but his heart is not in it.  He wants to be downstairs with the big boys where he will terrorize them and scream and make Jack hulk out.  It's hard to be the littlest brother, apparently.

I'll keep you posted.  Wish us luck.

Best outfit ever:
Really disturbing hot dog (that was 70-calories of pure enjoyment):

Thursday, April 20, 2017

POTY Podcast #4 is up,

and you should definitely go listen to it.  You can hear it on our website, on Soundcloud, or on iTunes.

I have to tell you I like my early morning coffee time better when I am writing my book, not grading essays.  But I am still looking forward to it every morning.  I think that's because I set the coffee pot to brew at 4:45, so it's ready for me when I stumble into the kitchen and grab a mug 15 minutes later.

 Jack had his adorable biography day in third grade. Not to be out done by his Ditka-obsessed older brother, Jack was Vince Lombardi.  It was adorable.

 I had to take Harry to the doc for a weird rash on his neck, and we realized that my bullet journal is the perfect place to play an endless game of dots.  Also, I REALLY HOPE HE DOESN'T HAVE PSORIASIS like me.
 Lombardi in action!

What are you still doing here?  You should be SUBSCRIBING to our PODCAST.  And also rating it because you love us, admit it.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Today started off great. And then.

Today had so much potential/

Dorothy was accessorized like mad for preschool.
 Jack baked his chocolate chip cherry cookies-- part of the dinner menu he planned from his new cookbook-- before school, meaning we would have time to go to a park after school.
 And his dinner plan sounded pretty delicious:
 (This was AMAZING).

 I achieved PONYTAIL NIRVANA-- seriously, this was a fabulous ponytail.
 We had a blast at the park and had the place to ourselves because it was drizzling and everybody else is a wimp.
 Dorothy requested a selfie where we made our scared faces.  And!  I went to the dentist yesterday after a 3 year absence (I have cavities.  Several.  Shut up) and my teeth are SO WHITE AND LOVELY. (My hygienist used a water pick, and nothing about my mouth is yellow and I LOVE IT.  Red lipstick here I come).
 We ate cookies in the rain.
 We even tried the Starbucks unicorn frappe.  (NOT IMPRESSED)
 Also, bedraggled.
 Jack's inner was AMAZING.
 I ate it aaaaaaaaaall.
And then.  Dorothy peed her pants.  Beatrix peed on Dorothy's floor.  My KitchenAid mixer whisk broke and I got potatoes all over my face and hair.  And Harry shoved Cooper on his big wheel and ended up ramming the handlebars into his nose, and Cooper came inside screaming and dripping blood everywhere and crying because he got punched in the face with a bike, and I screamed, too, when I saw him, which was as calming as you might imagine, and then Beatrix ate his blood off the floor so she's basically Cujo now.


As we drove home drinking our trendy drinks and blasting "Born This Way" with all the kids singing along and Dorothy chair dancing and all the windows down and the moon roof open, Harry suggested we all watch a move and snuggle after dinner, and I thought oh my gosh this day canNOT get any better.  AND BOY WAS I RIGHT.