Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Things I Am leaving in April

  • Wasted time at work.  One of the challenges of my job is that I have a lot of unstructured time.  This is, of course, amazing and contributes to my overall feeling of happiness and well-being.  I am someone who hates to have deadlines hanging over me, so to be able to cross projects off my list months in advance and work on my own timeline is a must for me,  BUT.  This also means that the shame spiral part of my process is generally left unchecked. It's really hard to NOT waste time.  And I don't mean staring out the window or screwing around on the Internet.  I mean, checking email 60,000 times a day or prepping a class so far in advance that when I go to teach it, I have not idea what the hell I am supposed to be saying.  Stuff like that.  But also the other stuff, too.  And then I wind up coming home from work feeling like a failure and super defensive because Ben makes more money that I do and teaches more classes than I do, and my wasted time could have been his productive time.  I think these feelings we be naturally lessened next year when we both have a lot of unfettered work time thanks to the magic of kids growing up.  But still.  I want to turn over a new leaf in terms of wasting time at the office.  Here's how I think I can do it:
    • To-Do list with the day clearly mapped
    • Tackle the stuff I do not want to do first
    • Set clear writing goals so I don't feel overwhelmed and then justified in my time-wasting
    • Be proud of the all of the irons I have in the fire
    • Stop spending all of my time with the low-hanging fruit
    • GET OUT OF THE OFFICE and take a walk around the block or to the coffee shop up the street or to the lake.  Sure, the weather has sucked, but it won't always, and I can facilitate this by making sure I have comfy shoes stashed in a drawer.

Anybody have any advice for how to be more productive when you have lots of unstructured time?

  • Baby longing.  Don't get me wrong, I would still love to be pregnant.  But I can't let this distract me from the magic of the kids right now this second.  Some days I am better at this than other days.  My kids are really fun and funny right now, and I think we are in a sweet spot.  No one is hormonal yet (except for me) and everyone is a pretty good time.  I need to spend more time in the moment.  You know what's helping?  Instastories.  Weird, right?
  • Fear of flying.  I am toying with this one.  There are friends I want to visit and beaches I want the kids to see.  What if I just decided not to be scared anymore?  Is that a thing?


Unknown said...

I tackled my fear of flying this year. I decided that I wanted to enjoy ALL THE THINGS and that I didn’t want to paralyze my kids (who love to fly!) with my fears. I wanted them to see Mom do hard things and conquer my fears in order to enjoy life in a different way. My husband surprised me with a trip to Marco Island for my 40th birthday and gave me the option of driving (10 hours, on my birthday... yuck, no thanks!) or flying (1.5 hours... much better!) and I just did it... I still didn’t love it but I read a book and chatted with my husband and it was fine... Bonus my kids were proud of me and hubby promised the kids and I a trip to Europe for our 25th anniversary (which isn’t for several years, so I’ll have time to take other shorter flights first!)

Anonymous said...

Hi! I have read your blog for years but have never commented. I am dreadfully afraid to fly but find myself in a position where I have to fly for vacations etc. at least a few times a year. I have found that medication (in particular xanax) has helped me a lot when it comes to getting the nerve to actually get on the plane. It isn't perfect, but I am able to get on the plane with my family and not have a complete freak-out mid-air!! It is worth considering! Good luck!!

Chiconky said...

You can totally decide to not be afraid! I would guess that the worst part is before you’re on the plane. Meds, breathing exercises, and distraction can all help there. Maybe try it without all the kids first? I find my emotional tank is much lower if I’m simultaneously herding the cats. You can do it, and you’ll feel SO GREAT after you’re successful!

Anonymous said...

My friend recently took a fear of flying class at her airport (San Francisco), and it changed her life. Such a class might be a good option for you.