Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Things I Am leaving in April

  • Wasted time at work.  One of the challenges of my job is that I have a lot of unstructured time.  This is, of course, amazing and contributes to my overall feeling of happiness and well-being.  I am someone who hates to have deadlines hanging over me, so to be able to cross projects off my list months in advance and work on my own timeline is a must for me,  BUT.  This also means that the shame spiral part of my process is generally left unchecked. It's really hard to NOT waste time.  And I don't mean staring out the window or screwing around on the Internet.  I mean, checking email 60,000 times a day or prepping a class so far in advance that when I go to teach it, I have not idea what the hell I am supposed to be saying.  Stuff like that.  But also the other stuff, too.  And then I wind up coming home from work feeling like a failure and super defensive because Ben makes more money that I do and teaches more classes than I do, and my wasted time could have been his productive time.  I think these feelings we be naturally lessened next year when we both have a lot of unfettered work time thanks to the magic of kids growing up.  But still.  I want to turn over a new leaf in terms of wasting time at the office.  Here's how I think I can do it:
    • To-Do list with the day clearly mapped
    • Tackle the stuff I do not want to do first
    • Set clear writing goals so I don't feel overwhelmed and then justified in my time-wasting
    • Be proud of the all of the irons I have in the fire
    • Stop spending all of my time with the low-hanging fruit
    • GET OUT OF THE OFFICE and take a walk around the block or to the coffee shop up the street or to the lake.  Sure, the weather has sucked, but it won't always, and I can facilitate this by making sure I have comfy shoes stashed in a drawer.

Anybody have any advice for how to be more productive when you have lots of unstructured time?

  • Baby longing.  Don't get me wrong, I would still love to be pregnant.  But I can't let this distract me from the magic of the kids right now this second.  Some days I am better at this than other days.  My kids are really fun and funny right now, and I think we are in a sweet spot.  No one is hormonal yet (except for me) and everyone is a pretty good time.  I need to spend more time in the moment.  You know what's helping?  Instastories.  Weird, right?
  • Fear of flying.  I am toying with this one.  There are friends I want to visit and beaches I want the kids to see.  What if I just decided not to be scared anymore?  Is that a thing?


  1. I tackled my fear of flying this year. I decided that I wanted to enjoy ALL THE THINGS and that I didn’t want to paralyze my kids (who love to fly!) with my fears. I wanted them to see Mom do hard things and conquer my fears in order to enjoy life in a different way. My husband surprised me with a trip to Marco Island for my 40th birthday and gave me the option of driving (10 hours, on my birthday... yuck, no thanks!) or flying (1.5 hours... much better!) and I just did it... I still didn’t love it but I read a book and chatted with my husband and it was fine... Bonus my kids were proud of me and hubby promised the kids and I a trip to Europe for our 25th anniversary (which isn’t for several years, so I’ll have time to take other shorter flights first!)

  2. Anonymous1:16 PM

    Hi! I have read your blog for years but have never commented. I am dreadfully afraid to fly but find myself in a position where I have to fly for vacations etc. at least a few times a year. I have found that medication (in particular xanax) has helped me a lot when it comes to getting the nerve to actually get on the plane. It isn't perfect, but I am able to get on the plane with my family and not have a complete freak-out mid-air!! It is worth considering! Good luck!!

  3. You can totally decide to not be afraid! I would guess that the worst part is before you’re on the plane. Meds, breathing exercises, and distraction can all help there. Maybe try it without all the kids first? I find my emotional tank is much lower if I’m simultaneously herding the cats. You can do it, and you’ll feel SO GREAT after you’re successful!

  4. Anonymous10:57 PM

    My friend recently took a fear of flying class at her airport (San Francisco), and it changed her life. Such a class might be a good option for you.