Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Back to reality

When my alarm went off this morning, I was so surprised and dismayed.

I had the foresight to plug my phone in in my bathroom, as opposed to on my nightstand, so I had to get up and go into another room to run off my alarm, and that's probably the only things that saved me from just going back to sleep.  That and it's SO RUDE to set a pre-6 am alarm and then turn it off and ignore it when you share a room with someone.

I just sort of stood in the bathroom for a few minutes blinking and drooling and then I put on an exercise bra conveniently laid out on the bathroom counter (I sleep in my work out clothes), grabbed my headphones (also laid out the night before) and snagged the book I am currently reading on the way downstairs to the elliptical (that I now use barefoot to save time looking for socks and shoes).  I had to go 12 extra minutes to reach my target calorie burn because that's how slow and foggy I was, but the workout actually felt great. I even lifted weights, which is something I HAVE DONE EVERYDAY FOR A MONTH, AND I AM STARTING TO SEE ACTUAL MUSCLE DEFINITION IN MY ARMS. I practically bounced upstairs to turn on the coffee pot (I make the coffee the night before, so all I have to do is mash the button in the morning), start some laundry (and it's not even my day to stay home and do shit like laundry, but I AM A GIVER), and jump in the shower.

It was a far cry from yesterday's lazy morning that featured both homemade buttermilk waffles and French toast with bread I baked myself (everyone likes pancakes, but only half of them like waffles and half of them like FT). 

 But I laid out my clothes, packed my work bag, slapped together the kids' lunches, and made a fabulous salad for lunch last night, so things were pretty easy peasy.

(Spinach, tomato, cucumber, blackberries, 2 oz oven-baked chicken breast marinated in TJ's island soyaki sauce, and a hard boiled eggs.  The tiny container has 2TBS of light pomegranate vinaigrette.  Along with a honey crisp apple and a sparkling water, it's 275 perfect lunch calories.  I also packed an orange and a bag of carrot chips for later, and except for the dressing and the marinade, it is totally Whole30 approved.  I plan to swap out the dressing for vinegar from Vom Fass, and I think it will be smooth sailing.  EXCEPT I really love bagels and wine.  So.)

I went to the mailroom, the ladies room, and the filtered water fountain with one boot and one heel.  Jesus.

Is anyone else SCARED TO DEATH of the new administration?  I am going crazy with anxiety.  Literally, not euphemistically.  It's the idea of nuclear war that scares me the most, but homegrown fascism is pretty scary, too.

I had an epiphany on the elliptical this morning, though.  A fat housewife from Wisconsin can't save humanity right now, so I need to chill the fuck out an control what I can control.  So!  I am back on the Gretchen Rubin train, and I am going to hashtag at least one pic a day #happier2017 on Insta.  I am going to USE my meditation app FINALLY.  I am committed to making one call a day to my reps, and I am going to join my local Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America and see about volunteering at my local Planned Parenthood.  Something else that has been awesome is my very favorite podcast Call Your Girlfriend.  Seriously, listen to Ann and Amina and restore your faith in humanity.  In their most recent episode they talk about how to stay current on current events AND be detached enough to appreciate the whole thing as theater of the absurd.  And they are very clear that it takes an enormous amount of privilege to be able to adopt this stance.

Also, this article on posture has been enormously helpful to me in keeping my NYR to stand up straight.

I also think the eating disorder I am working very hard to cultivate for next month is going to help take my mind off the fact that we are all going to die.  And!  I just requested from the library these books about how eating the foods I love is killing me, so that'll help, too.

I am marching local on Saturday, so you if you have any good sign suggestions, send them my way-- having a sign-making party tomorrow night!!

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