Friday, March 25, 2022

Struggle Bus

 I have stopped exercising as much as I used to because Minnie dropped her morning nap, and she is only content to ride in the stroller for maybe 15 minutes at a time, and those 15 minutes really need to end in a trip top the park or she’s going to blow up the building. 

As a result, I can usually squeeze in 30-40 minutes on the elliptical first thing every morning, and that’s about it. Maybe a stroller walk or 2 if I am lucky. 

A year ago at this time, I was walking 2+ hours a day. But now I am working more and 2 hours for a any kind of workout but ESPECIALLY one without Minnie with me is a luxury I cannot afford. SO. Slowly, slowly, I am gaining weight.

I DO NOT WANT to track my food because I am trying really hard to not be weird about food or my body anymore. But also! I want to feel great in my clothes and head into pool season ready to chase Minnie all over the pool deck and not feel like I have to keep my muumuu on the whole time.

What to do? Track food and restrict calories until I have dropped a few pounds (I have no idea how many because I haven’t weighed myself in at least 9 months) and then go back to intuitive eating? Stop worrying about it and buy bigger clothes when the season finally changes? Magically get it together and stop eating so much? Sneak in 20 minutes of yoga flow while I am playing with Minnie and make sure the occasional 15-minute stroller walk is actually a regimented 2 per day (along with my elliptical)? Get up a teeny bit earlier to have 45 minutes of exercise in the AM in addition to extra walks? ALL OF THESE THINGS?

I mean, I feel like sneaking in more exercise and also reigning in my sweet tooth will both be effective. Obviously the exercise part is easier than the eating part. Why does food always have to feel so fraught? I want to be middle-aged and just satisfied with myself, but I don’t live in a vacuum. It’s easier to be satisfied when you are smaller. Diet culture sucks, etc.

How many blog posts have I written just like this one over the last 15 1/2 years? Who knows because I never use labels.

I just want her confidence. Is that too much to ask??



2 comments:

Elisabeth said...

I could have written this entire post. Everything.
I'm in this spot right now. No answers. But I feel you...on all of it.
I'm really working at cleaning up my diet. I eat quite healthfully, but on the weekends I a) ate too much and b) always included too many "treats" so all the good eating and exercise and habits just didn't stick on the weekends. So I'm aiming to work on that, make sure I have healthy (but delicious choices in the fridge) and just...try to stay out of my head on the food topic - which is easier said than done.

uadamp said...

Read Delay Don't Deny...may be the answer to all your diet issues. Good Luck