Sunday, March 20, 2022

INSOMNIA, my old enemy

 INSOMNIA. You guys! I wouldn’t think that someone as perpetually exhausted as I am (it is harder to get up with a baby in the middle of the night at 43 than it was at… any other age) would have a hard time falling asleep. AND YET. The last 2 nights, I have been unable to sleep for a long time after getting up with Minnie at 3-ish.

Friday night I read this book, which was kind of a bad choice, even though I eventually fell asleep. I need a Goldilocks book in the middle of the night, and Anthem was too smart (I kept thinking about all the references and mapping current geopolitics onto Hawley’s thinly disguised people and situations) and also not engaging enough. I mean, the plot is good but also too slow to completely engage my mind, you know?

Last night I just sort of laid there angrily thinking I was going to fall asleep any second and then did fall asleep but kept waking up and only realizing that I had drifted off when I started awake. At 4-something, I asked Ben to quit snoring, and then he couldn’t sleep. Ugh. 

Tonight, I think I will just plan on going to the couch with a book after I feed Minnie.*

Some thing else I am not looking forward to is my alarm for tomorrow AM, but I need to exercise before work, so it is a necessary evil. I know it is only one lousy hour, but since the time change, I have not been able to get up before 7, and I need to be fully exercised by 7 to make office hours on time (ish).

My lecture got moved for the rest of the semester to a slightly smaller lecture hall, making me feel less awesome about my hybrid mask plan. I might just leave it on? Maybe I can ruminate about it in the middle of the night. **eye roll**

*I know that Minnie is more than old enough to sleep all night without waking up to nurse, but I don’t want to wean her before she gets a COVID vaccine, and she is eating much less frequently during the day because she is so busy. So, I think I will keep night nursing and also keep complaining about it. Solid plan.

1 comment:

  1. Ugh. I can relate. I have been struggling with bouts of insomnia over the last decade, but it got SO much worse over DST back last November. Instead of having a few bad nights a month, it was weeks and weeks of terrible sleep. I actually got to the point where I felt physically ill over my desperation to sleep.

    Generally, I can get to sleep okay, but then wake up at 1:30 or 2:30 am. And I feel fully awake. I've tried all the tricks and things have improved a bit, but it is a whole new experience for me and after several months of struggling (November + December) I actually talked to my doctor. We tried some things that didn't help but I've started taking some herbal supplements (Valerian Root + Passionflower) which seem to be helping. Yet, still, I have at least 1 bad night a week.

    I can't imagine juggling this with a little one. It must be both frustrating and demoralizing.
    Wish I could solve the problem for you (and me) - all the best as you navigate this very challenging issue. <3