August: What I Read

August was an EXCELLENT reading month. I revisited some vintage horror novels from my tween years, and I read books by all-time favorite authors. A new Ann Patchett and  a new Richard Russo? WOW.

You can skips these:

How to Talk so Teens will Listen and Listen so Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber: Meh. **Audio

 In the Likely Event by Rebecca Yarros: Maybe a little better than Colleen Hoover? Maybe not. **Audio *2023

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski: A very random skip-the-line on Libby, but I loved her stress book, and this was good, too. **Audio

Solid Meh

The Menopause Manifesto by Jen Gunter: Did this book make me more anxious or less? HARD TO SAY. **Kindle

The Spare Room by Andrea Bartz: Too many twists. **2023

Nostalgic Faves

The Cheerleader by Caroline B. Cooney: Dorothy mentioned in passing that she wanted to read scary books but that Goosebumps were too baby-ish, and I hunted down 4 of my very favorites from my own childhood. LOVED this book when I was a round her age and could not read it often enough. I spend through a re-read, and it still satisfies.

The Return of the Vampire by Caroline B. Cooney: OH THIS ONE! THIS IS THE ONE that I remember so vividly from 4th or 5th grade.  (this one is also called Evil Return)

Yes. I liked these.

What Never Happened by Rachel Howzell Hall: I really liked this COVID thriller— scary, gripping, twisty— all of the things. **2023** Audio

Dark Corners by Megan Goldin: This was a perfectly great thriller. **2023

The Secrets We Kept by Lara Prescott: Yep. Liked it lots. **Audio

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas: YES, please! A new fantasy series I really like? BRING IT. **Audio

Oh yes. I liked these a lot.

The Man Who Died Twice by Richard Osman: So good! I am a big fan of the Thursday Murder Club, but I just read that the author is taking a break. Still! I like this series so much I will check out his new stuff when it comes out even without my favorite elderly crime fighters. **Audio

Hang the Moon by Jeannette Walls: This is really great for about 3/5 and then just great after that. **2023

Prom Mom by Laura Lipppman: YES, you should read this one. It’s so well written and plotted. **2023

Book-of-the-Year Contenders, All (Yes, all. I lurve the Will Trent series, especially on audio)

My Last Innocent Year by Daisy Alpert Florin: LOVED this coming-of-age novel. New England academic setting! Back-biting English department! Friend and professor dramZ. All of my favorite things. **2023

 The Five-Star Weekend by Elin Hilderbrand: SO GOOD. Might surpass 28 Summers as my favorite of hers. **2023

After That Night by Karin Slaughter: To be fair, I would listen to ANYTHING Kathleen Early wanted to read to me, but this 11th Will Trent book is the very best one. **2023 **Audio

Somebody’s Fool by Richard Russo: A NEW RUSSO? AND WE ARE BACK IN NORTH BATH? Pinch me already. **2023 **Kindle

Tom Lake by Ann Patchett: I think this is my new favorite book ever, and Meryl Streep as the narrator? Heavenly. **2023 **Audio

This Month:

19 books

11 books published in 2023

8 print, 2 Kindle, 9 audio

This Year:

153 books

79 books published in 2023

83 print, 9 Kindle, and 61 audio

Menopause???

 YOU GUYS.

For the past year/2 years, my periods have been coming every 21-34 days, but my cycles have usually been around 24 days. Regularly irregular is how I described it to my doc on January. I weaned Minnie and my period went a teeny bit bananas (a TWO WEEK cycle), but then I had several new-normal months, etc.

BUT I HAVE NOT HAD A PERIOD IN OVER 55 DAYS.

What.

IS THIS THE END?

I am only 45-- what does this mean for my bones and my heart?

IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME? I had a period that DID NOT END when Minnie was teeny, so I had an endometrial biopsy and a super freaking intense dye contrast ultrasound in early 2021 (normal). I also had a (normal) pap in 2023. Soooooo, in terms of big scary stuff, I am not really that scared (WHAT ABOUT MY OVARIES? WHEN IS THE LAST TIME SOMEONE CHECKED IN WITH THEM besides a pelvic exam?), but.

MY DOCTOR RETIRED. She has been my doctor for TWENTY YEARS, so this freaks me out a bit. Also! I have a brand new PCP and am already bombarding her with ovarian concerns. By the time you read this, I will have also been on the horn with an RN from my OB’s office. I GUESS I AM PRETTY ANXIOUS AFTER ALL.

It would be WEIRD though if my period just quietly peaced out with little fanfare. I am the person who gets their period at precisely 6 weeks postpartum even with exclusive breastfeeding. I am the person who has had labor-like menstrual cramps and life-structuring PMS since I was a teenager. WILL IT REALLY END WITH A WHIMPER?

Although. Ok. I have had a few months of really strange periodic night sweats that don’t seem to correspond to weather. I have gained weight and it is very much in my stomach. I HAVE BEEN ANGRY FOR WEEEEEEEEKS around this non-cycle, and, as you can tell from this post, my anxiety is OFF THE CHARTS.

So maybe there have been warning signs?

GAH. Anyone have menopause stories/advice to share?

(At least it is pumpkin drank time)

Welcomed

 Last week, I met a brand new crop of instructors for my large gen ed course and spent a few days on campus getting them ready for the new semester. It is always a lovely, nostalgic time for me because I went through this same orientation when I came to campus as a grad student TWENTY YEARS AGO this week. 

Past Welcome Weeks have been hard to juggle, especially when we had nursing babies. Oh, the year my parents babysat baby Dorothy IN THE NEXT ROOM— seemed like such a cluster at the time, but HOW SWEET in retrospect. This week was easy (for me, since I was the one at work), and wow is it a cinch to just have one small kid instead of many at once.

Things I loved: 

• Not being a SAHM for 3 days.
• Dressing up.
• The coffee shop next to my office that I have missed.
• Taking walks on campus during lunch even when it was triple-digits outside.

The beginning of a new semester never fails to remind me why I love my job.

5 on a Friday: Things I Will Miss About Summer

 1. Not worrying about the big kids’ school work. There’s a (cultural and school-specific) expectation that parents keep track of their kids’ assignments and grades via the school’s learning management platform that sends a million notifications, and it stresses me out.

2. Long, lazy, light nights. Soon, it will be dark and cold at 5 pm, and I am never ready for that.

3. Walking out the door with kids and without coats, gloves, backpacks, etc. Right now, we have water bottles and maybe nothing else (Minnie has been showing up without shoes more and more lately).

4. Pool nights. And days.

5. Late starts to every morning, waking up without the pressure to go anywhere, no need to make sure the children groom themselves or look presentable. It is going to be so weird to wake up with alarms and leave the house again.

Coming up for (humid, stagnant) air

 IT IS VERY HOT HERE.

Hot makes me MAD. And! I was delighted to read in my favorite old lady magazine that I still subscribe to in print because OLD LDAY that this is pretty normal.

Here I am walking to my car after work yesterday when it was 99 outside but felt like 116. At 5pm.

SO FREAKING HOT.

Also! I have been SO busy. And! All we did was add 2 hockey practices a week (that we are CARPOOLING and for, so not even something that demands much effort on our part as parents— although rounding up gear that fit, cleaning out last season’s stinky bag, etc, was a lot) and 3 full days on-campus for me. (WHICH WAS A SHOCK TO THE SYSTEM, but not a wholly unwelcome one). 

Our apple cart was pretty shaky, it turns out, because those two teeny things really upset it.

It is some kind of privileged to complain about the heat in a super air conditioned house and then take your kids to their private pool for an evening swim and then complain some more, huh?

Also, looking at Minnie stuffed into her swimsuit at the end of summer reminds me SO MUCH OF ME. Apple doesn’t fall far, etc.

Did I mention that when we switched around kid rooms we got a bunch of LED voice activated light bulbs (at Jack’s urging)? SO FUN to ask Alexa to change colors and brightness, etc. Dorothy is a big fan. She is in the middle of redirecting, but all she has been able to commit to is cool lightbulbs and a poster from 5 below— baby steps.

“New” Rooms, part 100

 Thanks for the room suggestions!

We have pretty much maxed out all available space in this house (that seemed SO BIG when we moved in with 2 tiny boys and another on the way).

For reference, we live in a 5-bedroom, 3-bathroom, 2500-square-foot ranch with a finished walkout basement. And we probably will live here forever and ever because 5 kids in college, bananas housing market, etc etc etc.

Harry and Jack have shared a bedroom since Jack was born-- even when we had TWO UNUSED BEDROOMS in this house, but lately, they have been chafing at the constant togetherness. Roommates! Classmates! Colleagues! It was a lot.

They used to share the room that is Dorothy's currently, and baby Coop had Minnie's room. (and since he was still cooking when we moved in, Harry and Jack were technically roomies with THREE unused bedrooms!) Their bedroom downstairs was the guest room, and the 5th bedroom was a playroom (hence the vinyl floor).

Then! We had Dorothy, who moved into the nursery. Coop moved into Harry and Jack's room, and they moved to the guest room. (A slight upgrade when they outgrew their train table (LOL))

Then! We had Minnie, who took the nursery. Dorothy bumped Coop to the toy room, and that's where we've been for 3 years: Dorothy and Minnie up, the three boys down, the 3 little kids with their own rooms, and Harry and Jack sharing for FIFTEEN YEARS. We have had little interludes where D moved herself in with C, both in his upstairs room and in the former toy room, but she has always maintained her own room as well.

I LIKE the girls up/boys down split right now because the upstairs kid bath is also the guest bath, and it is easy to maintain as a little-kid-only zone. Harry and Jack are murder on a bathroom, and I love that theirs is tucked away. So, I was reluctant to move Dorothy and Minnie together and give a boy the other upstairs room. ESPECIALLY because the upstairs rooms are very small, so it made not as much sense for 2 kids to share one. Dorothy and Minnie COULD move downstairs to the former toy room, but Minnie is not really downstairs material yet-- but I could see this working down the road with the upstairs bedrooms for kids home on college breaks, etc.

ANYWAY.

Longer story long, we moved Coop and Jack together and gave Harry his mojo dojo casa room (thus named because we bought NOTHING NEW AT ALL for him and filed his closet with extra sheets and blankets in storage containers, took all of Jack's favorite stuff off the walls and covered the holes with flags and pennants, etc.)

We ONLY bought a rug, Command hooks, under-the-bed boxes, storage bins for sheets and blankets, some power strips, a lamp, throw pillows, one single storage bin for an old bookshelf, and voice activated LED bulbs for the new room-- under $250. I am THRILLED that it only took 48 hours to complete the switch and shocked by how much stuff we re-used. We need to think about a long term solution to the old bunk in Harry's room. Ideally, that room would be Jack's when Harry goes to college but would also be Harry's when he comes home. But the bunk bed has a low weight limit on top, so it has really outlived its usefulness. Maybe sturdier bunks? Maybe 2 twins and less other stuff in the room? Not sure yet and also not in a rush.

The new rooms:

Same bed he’s had since he was like 5! A chair from his grandparents’ old house in IL! IKEA Expedit shelves worth their weight in gold! Jack’s old desk AND his desk because eff it!

Coop and Jack:

Cross your fingers that this is the room arrangement everyone loves.

5 on a Friday: A life in 1-liners

 1. I am stalled out reading a book by my literal favorite author-- what is even happening?

2. Minnie and I both got bangs.

3. 5 kids plus 5 pairs of tennis shoes equals TOO MANY KIDS.

4. The big boys need their own space; the Fed raised interest rates, sooooo creative ideas welcome.

5. I have 3 days of meetings next week and am thrilled at the prospect of consistent adulting.