Thursday, November 24, 2022

Fat Kid in a Little Suit

 I originally posted this in 2009, and it's still my favorite Thanksgiving story of all time.  Happy Thanksgiving-- I hope it's the best one yet.

Thanksgiving, circa 1985-ish

My brothers and me-- I was 7; Ben was 3, and Jon was 2.

Shortly after this picture was taken, I pushed past a houseful of guests to be first in line for the Thanksgiving buffet and heaped my plate high with turkey, chopped liver, stuffing, cranberry orange relish, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole-- you get the idea. I marched into the library where the folding kids' table was set up, delighted that I didn't have to waste time talking to my brothers or any guests, plopped both my plate and my fat little self down on the bench, shot my cuffs, picked up my fork, opened my mouth, and raised a heavy, quivering bite of buttered roll and gravy-drenched meat to my eager lips. And then the table collapsed under the weight of me and my leaning tower of flesh and carbs.

Happy Thanksgiving. May you eat like no one's watching.


  1. Best Thanksgiving story - ever.
    I read your description and imagined it all slow mo, like a movie montage.
    Also, that outfit is on point.

    Happy Thanksgiving <3

  2. But wait! I feel bad for the seven-year-old you. Were you upset? Did you get a new plate of food? I guess you weren't scarred for life from this experience.
    Happy Thanksgiving!!! We have a lot of food today... I hope our table doesn't collapse.

  3. Haha I can picture it. I wonder, once the table collapsed... did you keep eating?

  4. That was a story that keeps on giving every year, I am sure. Also, that blue outfit! Wow!