#Am Writing

My book project stalled out in a way I wasn't expecting but probably should have been able to predict.

I didn't have enough childcare for the summer (NONE.  I HADE NONE), and in order to teach my real class online (SO MUCH WORK) and also keep adjuncting online (KIDS ARE EXPENSIVE), I let my book go for the summer, after spending a whole semester writing at least 2500 words a day.

When fall started, I had to read the damn thing to figure out where I was, and in reading it, I realized it was bad in places.  So, I started editing and also avoiding the project.  I barely wrote all fall and felt terrible about it, engaging the shame spiral portion of my process in a way I hadn't since grad school.

Over winter break, I figured out the plot FINALLY and I hope that next time I write a book, this will happen BEFORE I write 75,000 words.  Then I cut it down to 50,000 words and got back on track.  I decided, wisely I think, that a daily word count wasn't really working for me, and since school started in January, I have engaged the book most days of the week, but I have written very little.  Without a word count goal, it is hard to figure out what exactly I want to accomplish each day.

So.

One of my writing goals for the day was to do a little goal setting (SUPER META).  Here goes:

1. Engage the book 7 days a week, EVEN ON WEEKENDS, even if that means I am literally just sitting quietly and thinking about it for 10 minutes.  I need to warm up the fam for the summer when I am working daily.  Even though I once again have no child care.  This book needs to be as much a part of my routine as playing Design Home on my phone.  I have wanted to be a writer since before I could actually write when I would draw a bunch of loops on a page and ask my mom what it said.  I am going to work on my dream come true EVERY FUCKING DAY.

2.  Prioritize writing over paid work because I an an upholder.  I am absolutely going to get the paid work done.

3.  Finish a draft of the whole goddamn thing by the end of spring semester, print it out and have it bound, so I can spend all summer editing something that looks like a goddamn book.

Simple, right?