This time, I am talking about The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans: How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Unshakable Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult by Josh Shipp.
Here's some book info:
- FORGIVENESS: What do I do when a teen has been really hurt by someone and itís not their fault?
- COMMUNICATION: How do I get a teen to talk to me? They just grunt.
- TRUST: My teen blew it. My trust is gone. Where do we go from here?
- BULLYING: Help! A teen (or their friend) is being harassed.
- DIFFICULT AND AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS: Drugs. Death. Sex. Oh my.
About Josh ShippJosh Shipp helps adults understand teens and teens understand themselves. He is a global youth empowerment expert and an acclaimed speaker. He has appeared on MTV, Lifetime,†The Oprah Winfrey Show, CNN, FOX,†20/20,†Good Morning America, and in the†New York Times†and other media. A former at-risk foster kid turned youth advocate, he is renowned for his documentary TV series that followed his groundbreaking work with teens. His organization, One Caring Adult, produces resources and training events for parents, educators, and caring adults. Visit OneCaringAdult.com to learn more and for free resources. Find out more about Josh at his website, and connect with him on Facebook and Twitter.
I liked this book, and I am so happy to be a part of this tour NOW while I still have a tween and can practice. Not only does Shipp compile a bunch of research about adolescent behaviors, but he also combines the data with his own experiences in a way that is really understandable and engaging. The book is also full of hands-on guides that you could pull out and use in your own life. I found his house rules template really useful, for example, because it is general enough to apply to a variety of family settings but also specific enough to help guide new teen parents.
He talks a lot about holding teens accountable for their behavior in respectful ways that foreground their humanity and teach them the skills the need for being humans. In this vein, he has a great apology template parents and teen scan use to help teens say their sorry to peers, teacher, etc. I loved it!
Another concrete takeaway from this book is his idea of a notebook that parents and teens can use to communicate with each other. When I was in high school, my best friends and I had notebooks that we would write in and pass back and forth-- and I still love to read the notes. I imagine that kids could do this today with text strings, but I think I'll do notebooks with my own teens because having the written record is lovely, even if not all of the notes are pleasant.
The whole book is premised on having respect for your kids, being realistic about where you stand, and parenting through radical honesty. All three of these tenets match up with my current philosophy and also make parenting a teen--- something that sounds scary in theory-- seem doable.
I recommend this book, and if you are a planner like I am, you might want to go ahead and read it now before your kids get too big.