Monday, May 24, 2010

So hard to be me

My massage therapist wore a fanny pack of massage oil that she accessed several times throughout my session (that's what she called it-- my session. As in "You will feel so sore from your session." Yikes). I could tell she was about to lube up her hands by the zip and the sploosh sound her fanny pack made. Dreamy.

She was not the type of therapist I was looking for. Me. A mom who left her kids home with their nanny and read essays in a coffee shop for a couple of hours before showing up for my massage because you know, I've just been so stressed lately. This woman was not interested in my new-age, mindfulness discussion of my tension and anxiety. She demanded to know where my pain was.

Well, you know, I said, my left shoulder is sore from carrying my bag and my toddler, And I tend to store tension in my neck and upper back-- she cut me off and told me to make sure I took off my earrings because she didn't want to accidentally rip my earlobes off. Um. Okay.

When I was facedown (braless, in case you're wondering), she asked me if I usually felt sore the next day when I got massages. No, I told her. Hmph, she growled cracking her knuckles.

In retrospect, I should have declined the face massage.

I'm definitely going to see her again, though. I guess I like a scary massage. Who knew.

The Environmental Working Group put out their summer sunscreen guide, which is absolutely fucking horrifying. Apparently, there is no real evidence that sunscreen prevents skin cancer, but there is evidence that the most common chemical ingredient in sunscreen causes tumors to grow faster. Great.

We already use the 2 screens that get the highest marks, and I like them a lot.

We use Badger all over and California Baby stick for squirmy little faces, ears, and necks. Both are SPF 30 (and the EWG says that higher SPFs may just be bullshit ) and both are physical blockers, not chemical blockers. This means they contain nano particles of minerals like zinc, which may be safe but may also fucking kill you. The jury is still out. Still, the EWG says take your chances with the nano particles.

The best thing to do, though, is to wear lots of clothes; wear a hat, and avoid the sun during peak hours (10-4). When you don't feel like living like a vampire, use a safe(r) sunscreen and reapply. (But don't get too little sun, or you risk a nasty case of vitamin D deficiency. Crap).

Here's chatty Jack from earlier today. Lucky for him, pasty is in.

Interview with a Jackpire from sarah on Vimeo.


  1. Oh he's cute!!!

    I checked "medium pressure" on the questionaire last time I got a massage (which was the second time ever) and I felt like I was being prepped for a marinade. I'll just stick to the chairs at the mall, I think.

  2. oh. my. goodness. if that isn't ben i don't know what is. Love the video--you should post more of them!

  3. there is definite benefit to a soft, relaxing massage with tinkly music and dim lights - namely, pleasurable relaxation and pampering. But I personally like the really hard, more therapeutic massages because they actually get stuff worked out and loosened up. And I would rather suffer a few bruises and sore spots and have all of my tension gone than have my pain return the next day because of a too gentle massage. Especially since I can't afford to get them very often. But it does take some mental preparation to go into a painful massage.

  4. I have had two massages in my life. One I don't remember much, except for the pain since it was a
    "deep tissue massage" and the second was a prenatal massage and holy moly, was that a mistake. The masseuse, who did not have children, spent the entire time telling me, in precise and gory detail, what happens to the momma's body during childbirth. This massage was when I was pregnant with my first. During the third trimester.

    If you want to wear less sunscreen, check out clothing that alleges sun protection (for example, fabric that is SPF 70). I actually think the SPF claims are kind of silly, and that dark clothing has "SPF" too, but these shirts (Columbia makes some and so does Ex Oficio -- check out REI or Sports Authority) are super breathable and quite tolerable in the heat.

    I always put the kids in a wide-brimmed sun hat and try to keep them in breathable clothing. Sunday Afternoon makes really great hats for kids.

  5. The whole sunscreen thing is so scary. My parents, who live in florida and are starting to look like people made out of leather, buy into it being better to not use it at all than to use it. I beg to differ... but that's just me ;) I like our expensive safe stuff though.

    And wow, that massage sounds crazy amazing :)

  6. I Love that video of Jack! He sounds like my son--they could have themselves quite a talk!

  7. Anonymous8:32 AM

    I loved hearing Jack talking..he has such a sweet voice and is so happy to answer your questions, even when he teases..thanks, made my morning..Bomma

  8. Hmm... I don't know if I would have liked a massage like that. But, I bet it dealt with any knots you had!