Fat Kid in a Little Suit
I originally posted this in 2009, and it's still my favorite Thanksgiving story of all time. Happy Thanksgiving-- I hope it's the best one yet.
Thanksgiving, circa 1985-ish
My brothers and me-- I was 7; Ben was 3, and Jon was 2.
Shortly after this picture was taken, I pushed past a houseful of guests to be first in line for the Thanksgiving buffet and heaped my plate high with turkey, chopped liver, stuffing, cranberry orange relish, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole-- you get the idea. I marched into the library where the folding kids' table was set up, delighted that I didn't have to waste time talking to my brothers or any guests, plopped both my plate and my fat little self down on the bench, shot my cuffs, picked up my fork, opened my mouth, and raised a heavy, quivering bite of buttered roll and gravy-drenched meat to my eager lips. And then the table collapsed under the weight of me and my leaning tower of flesh and carbs.
Happy Thanksgiving. May you eat like no one's watching.
I remember this from last year - what a story, indeed!
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving. Wishing you a wonderful day - with nary a collapsing table <3
I definitely plan to eat a table collapsing amount of mashed potatoes today. Happy Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha.... I do remember this from last year. I will definitely be eating like no one's watching today! Our table may or may not collapse. Happy Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteHilarious. And happy thanksgiving. Indeed eat like no one is watching.
ReplyDeleteI'm new here, so this is a first for me. Classic. Hilarious tale that sounds like something out of a John Hughes film. I was the first adult at the table yesterday and I may or may not have been done with my plate of food before the other adutls even sat down. Admitting it is the first step, right?
ReplyDeleteThis is Lisa. Too funny that you have a brother and husband named Ben!! My brother was married to an Emily and we have a sister Emily. It was a bit confusing but they’ve since gotten divorced. :(
ReplyDeleteThe first Thanksgiving I was at my husband's parent's place for Thanksgiving, I sat down on a chair at their dining room table and the chair immediately fell to the ground. So embarrassing.
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a wonderful meal yesterday.
Amazing. In so many ways. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI remember this story from last year... so funny... and it makes me feel like I've known you for quite a while when old childhood stories elicit a "I remember that story" response.
ReplyDeleteDying laughing, again, at this one.
ReplyDeleteAnd also... there is no shame in sitting and eating. Your food would get cold! :) Also, I had a slightly modified version of that dress. Same color, same era, but I did not have the spiffy fake tie.