I would really like the results of my COVID-19 test. I am worried that I really did have it. After an hour-long walk with the kids, yesterday, I came home and coughed and coughed, and my chest burned a little. (Note: the HMO told me I could rejoin my family after 72 hours of being fever free but shouldn't go anywhere but my house and outside on walks for 14 days. AS IF I EVER WANT TO LEAVE MY OWN AREA AGAIN. But it took a WEEK for me to feel well enough to even take a walk around the neighborhood).
I am really struggling with whether it is better to sleep more or get up before the kids and have some time to get my shit together. I am sick of being so tired that every time I sit on the couch I fall asleep, BUT ALSO, I am also sick of not having a single second to myself. Today, we got up at 6 to do a little work, have coffee, and watch Tiger King. (Hi, you need to watch this show if you aren't. WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING?)
Ben's job is really busy right now because his department deals with unemployment in the state, and DO YOU THINK SO, but more than that his job is structured in a way that demands total absorption and participation. Mine is more amorphous, and I can largely set my own deadlines, which means that I am the default parent.
Have you read this article about how COVID-19 has killed feminism? A big yep from me. I make less money. I have more flexibility. Therefore, I am the caregiver AND the worker. Not that Ben is a slacker-- he is just faced with more rigid working conditions.
I love feeling the baby move, and her movements are getting more reliable. I am 19 weeks on Sunday and feeling more than a little guilty about bringing a baby into this mess.
I am having trouble READING. This is a happiness stumbling block I need to solve ASAP. One of my book clubs is choosing a new book, so that will help. The other one is reading something I have already read, and I am trying to revive my other book club. My friend dropped off a bunch of books when I was sick, and I have library books on the shelf. No excuse is basically what I am saying. All I want to do is scroll FB.