Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Crabby Wednesday

The fam is a bunch of bitches.

You know how I have been making all my own baked goods?  I mentioned I was making brownies, and Ben said "Make sure you use a box.  I don't want you to mess them up-- I want Betty Crocker."  What an asshole.

So, I made 2 batches-- one from a Betty Crocker box and one from scratch.  In a blind taste test, both of my (asshole) kids picked the box.  Harry said, "I like this one.  It takes like a real brownie.  This one," he said, indicating the one made with LOVE, "Tastes like those muffins I had at hot lunch the other day."  Those muffins?  Were made of beets.


Speaking of assholes, Cooper (OM-G-- cussing about babies cracks me up) slept for 12 hours straight the night before last, waking for exactly 8 minutes to eat around 2 am.  Then, last night, he woke up at 9:30, 11:30, 12:30, 3-4:30, 6, and then finally at 7:30. The 3-4:30 stretch nearly killed me.  I would nurse him, put him in his crib with his pacifier firmly in his cry hole, stumble back to bed, throw myself on my pillow, an drift back to sleep when his squawks through the monitor would jerk me awake.  I repeated this pattern for 90 minutes, adding handfuls of animal crackers on my way back to bed, which is GREAT for the weight loss.

On that note, a visiting scholar from China who saw me last semester in the course I direct is sitting in on my rhetorical criticism class this term, and she said to me after class, "You don't look so fat." I think the nuance was lost in translation.



  1. Anonymous5:28 PM

    about time you blogged...I look every day to keep up with your wonderful family..proud of you all...Bomma

  2. Haha, swearing about babies IS funny. And I've never met a brownie I didn't like. Your fam is crazy.

  3. I totally used to turn down the monitor volume if my babies were keeping me awake (and I knew they didn't really need anything serious). I am the best mom ever

  4. I love swearing about babies. You should make the black bean brownies and see how the little assholes like those. ;-)

    I also love referring to a baby's mouth as a "cry hole".

    I LOVE when language barriers make people say totally inappropriate things. Priceless.