The sun came out today for the first time in forever, and I feel more optimistic. And I just spent over $100 on bottle accessories at Target because OF COURSE the kid only likes the most expensive bottles on the shelves OF COURSE. Also I got a bottle warmer because last night, I tried to mix a half breast milk/ half formula bottle at 3 am and it was a giant cluster. And also, he didn't want to eat-- just to come in bed with me and snuggle because he had already nursed but of course I am paranoid that he is not getting enough. OF COURSE I am.
So, last night, he sat with us at dinner and we gave him a tablespoon of rice cereal mixed with an ounce of formula, and he liked it. Then before bed, he nursed on 1 side, cried at the other, and ate 3 ounces of a 4 ounce bottle that was 3 parts breastmilk to one part formula. (and slept from 6:30 until 3 am) And I fed him the bottle! Tommee Tippee and faster flow nipples for the win!
I am sure that we will work out a breastmilk/formula compromise that works for us, lets me nurse, and lets him stay fat and happy. But it is a little stressful in the meantime when he is crying for food he can't have (breastmilk) or over food he doesn't want (anything in a bottle).
It was not my plan to start solids at 4.5 months, but we'll spend a week on rice and a week on oatmeal, and add in purees when he is 5 months old. And then, it'll be no time before he's eating YoBaby and all kinds of other stuff. And I know that solids are mainly for practice, but we might as well start practicing now.
Definitely feel better over here, but still not a lot of milk. So weird.