Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The bounce back-- not very much bounce

Yesterday, the Whole Foods deli was my downfall.  I thought I was eating like a reasonable human being (no snacks when Cooper ate through the night-- a good first step for me).  Then Ben and I grabbed lunch while grocery shopping, and before I knew it, I had eaten an entire chicken, apple, and Gouda panini the size of my face.  And for dessert last night I had half a piece of coconut cake.  WTH is wrong with me?  Then I drank a delicious oatmeal stout beer and a half and went face down in a bag of pretzels. It's like I WANT to be chubby.  But I don't, I swear.

I am so not even kidding you when I say the baby doesn't sleep.  Last night, he went down at 6:30 like always.  Up at 9:30.  Up at 1:47.  I mean like up, up.  Like did not go back to sleep.  Like used me like a pacifier and whined a lot.  I gave him to Ben at 5 and slept 2 more hours because damn.

He is also making a screeching noise like a dolphin or a cat all the time, and I remember the other kids doing that, too, when they were teething or going through some other developmental mind fuck.

It blows my mind because he slept through the night at such a young age.  Clearly, he was just toying with us.

I m not a sleep trainer, more of a bitch-about-the-baby's-sleep-until-it-magically-gets-better-er.  Because this too shall pass, I know, and it's a small price to pay for the pleasure of having such a squishy little ball of happiness to nibble on throughout the day.  But holy shit am I tired and fat.

Also my scale says I have gained 2 pounds.  I blame the salty, salty pretzels before bedtime.


  1. Babies are a pain, man. The sleep-trickery is the worst! And now I want some coconut pie, but I'm struggling to reign in the sweet-tooth too, so I'll have to pass.

  2. Kirsten11:38 AM

    I am right there with you, except my baby is almost 9 months old and I cam still count on one hand the number of times I've had a 5 hour chunk of sleep in the last year. But I don't because that would be too depressing. My first was waking up at 11 for a quick snack and then back to sleep for the night at this age. But it's just a blip, I keep telling myself (autocorrect had that as 'midriff'...yeah, that too...)

  3. salty pretzels will do that. drink bunches of water & those 2lbs will melt off in a day or two. And only 1/2 a piece of coconut cake?! How do you stop yourself once you're 1/2 way through the piece? That is will power I do not have.

    Believe me, I feel your pain. i distinctly remember that Ethan woke up basically every hour until he was 2. I know that doesn't seem possible, but it is. Every hour. Must have been a LOT of developmental mind fucks going on in our world.

    Hope he goes back to sleeping soon!

  4. I'm with Sarah - I completely can't understand what kind of binge involves HALF a piece for cake. I was unaware eating less than a full piece was even humanly possible.

    And I have to tell you, your stories of not sleeping and getting up all night and whatnot are making me glad that I have proven unable to breastfeed. got to love the whole shove a bottle in their face then put them back in the crib in a whole other room and go back to sleep thing :-)

    Good luck!

  5. My baby did not sleep. EVER. Except for like 10 minutes or 25 minutes in these teeny horrid naps. Our sleep log reads like a train schedule. I was so sleep deprived that I gained 27 pounds in the THIRTEEN MONTHS it took to get him to sleep. It never got better. No matter what. I just got fatter and fatter. One time I was at a party and this woman was telling me how much her daughter slept and I said" I'm sorry, I can't talk to you."

    I am due with our second baby in six weeks. My husband and I are reeeeeeeeally afraid of another sleep hater.

    If I ever meet that Dr. Ferber dude I will punch him in the neck for all his lies.

    Sleepy Planet is the way to go.

  6. I think your scale is defective. You should take it back.

  7. I love the fact that your babe squeals like a dolphin - my boy is doing that now, too! I think he's just figuring out how his mouth works. He has a squeak and a squeal and a shriek. . .and they are LOUD. So funny!