Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Patriarchy

 Yesterday, I asked a child why they don't have an emotional breakdown when their dad says he has to work and cannot check their homework right that second. And that child? Did not have a good response. But! It's a good question. It is maybe THE QUESTION in my life right now. Why is my work a personal affront, and Ben's is just.. what he does for 8 hours a day? PATRIARCHY is the TL;DR of course, but here? In this house? IT'S INESCAPABLE.

Last night at dinner, Dorothy got a question wrong in Trivial Pursuit about who the first cheerleaders were. The answer was men, which surprised her. When I was tucking her in, she asked about that question, wondering if it was talking about a long time ago when girls could only do the the things she likes to do. I loved that her understanding of gender roles was so complete that she offered both a critique and an analysis in one and that she was self-aware enough to note that she only likes stereotypically girly stuff. So we started talking about abolition and suffrage. "Ok," she said finally. "That's too many details. Save this for your college students."

I told Ben about our exchange, and he said, "Oh man, next thing you know, she's going to ask me about WGN radio or baseball cards."

The tiny girl in this picture doesn't sleep anymore unless I am holding her. I HOPE SHE IS GETTING TEETH or something reasonable. Otherwise she either hates me and never wants me to have a break OR she loves me so completely that we can never be apart. Either way, kind of overwhelming.



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