Tuesday, November 12, 2019

Holiday Grief Guide

Hey!  I am still thinking about how we can make our holidays merry and bright while still struggling through our first holiday season without my dad.  To whit, I wrote this grief guide for Madison Mom.  Check it out, and let me know if you have any tips.

2 comments:

maya said...

💗💗💗💗💗

Kim S said...

This will be my 15th round of holidays without my mom (which really means without my family of origin because we fell apart after she died). Time helps the acute grief, but the chronic is still there waiting to spring tears at inopportune moments. I have learned to just cry and everyone now knows to just give me a minute (I don't want to be "comforted"; I want to be left alone to cry). We have forged our own traditions over the years. We invite friends over. I cook all the food because 1) it keeps me occupied and 2) my anxiety likes to be in control.

My best advice is to not have expectations on how the days will go or how you will feel. Diverting from tradition is probably a good idea because it wouldn't be the same. If you miss something, you can weave it back in with new traditions.

After so many years, I tend to not talk about my grief as I feel people probably think I should be "over it" by now. So I buy flowers or hang an ornament or light a candle as a private way to remember my mom. I also try to remember that she would not want me to be sad and that living a good, happy life is the best way to honor her life.