Friday, February 08, 2019

A case of the Mondays on a Friday


Everything was great this morning.  I think we are all a little bit tired after a long week, but we plodded through our routine.  I managed to work out, take a shower, do my hair and makeup-- all before Harry and jack woke up.  Harry had breakfast first and Ben took him to school since it was too cold to wait for the bus.  Jack's breakfast overlapped with Harry's a little, like it usually does, and because he finished his homework already for the week, he had a little bit of extra time.  He walked the dog by himself because it's so cold, and it seemed easier to do that than to listen to Cooper complain when he got up in a few minutes.

It took Jack forever to put his boots on to go for the dog walk, but I purposefully did not help him because these are new boots and they're kind of hard to lace up, and he needs to practice.  I should have noticed how long it took him, though, because that would have been a helpful thing to think about later.

The reason Jack eats breakfast before the other little kids even though they all go to school on time is that I need him to get dressed and brush his teeth, etc, right away after he walks the dog do I can clean up his bedroom and bathroom.  This used to be Ben's job, but now he has to go to work early, so I have added it in.  Unfortunately, I also need to go to work early.  The kids and I all need to be out the door at the same time, even.

Jack went downstairs after he walked the dog while Dorothy and Cooper ate breakfast, got dressed, went downstairs, and joined him playing Wii U or watching TV or whatever-- their screen time is not my business.

I cleaned up breakfast, made all the upstairs beds, wiped down the upstairs bathroom, and then ran downstairs to clean up Jack and Harry's bedroom and bathroom before throwing on my clothes while the little kids all bundled up-- all of their stuff was waiting for them, all laid out an warmed by the dog laying on it, even. I was getting increasingly annoyed during this because all of the kids were screaming at each other downstairs because Dorothy and Jack wanted to watch different things on the TV. I have no idea why Jack didn't just go in another room or why I didn't suggest this.

That's when the whole thing fell apart.  Jack never brushed his hair or his teeth.  He just got dressed and zoned out in front of his phone and the TV (can I just say, as an aside, that when the kids are double screening, it drives me CRAZY).

And then everything fell apart.

I yelled.,  He yelled.  I yelled more.  He yelled more.  You get it.

We went upstairs to get everyone out the door and Jack struggled with his boots and then Dorothy and Cooper started yelling at him because they said he was making them late. Then he FREAKED OUT and all three kids were screaming at each other.

That's when I realized that there was no reason for us to all be yelling and separated everyone and zipped coats, found hats in the pile of back packs, etc.  And they all went to school all pissed at each other over whose fault it was that we were all late.

Here's what I should have done:
Tied Jack's boots
Told Jack to carry his boots and wear his slip on Uggs since everything is frozen and there's no mud
Suggested that Jack come upstairs and hang out when he and Dorothy started fighting instead of hollering down the stairs for them to knock it off.  This would have had the added benefit of me noticing that he never brushed his hair and teeth before the last damn minute.
Noticed that I was getting anxious and stopped drinking so much coffee (I seriously had one cup too many and have a serious case of the jitters even now)
Walked away instead of getting upset that I couldn't clean the bathroom.  It would have been so much easier to just hustle everyone out the door and take 3 extra seconds (okay, probably more like a minute) to wipe it down once they left.
NOT CARE when exactly Jack brushes his teeth even though, yes, the whole morning is designed around me having enough time to clean up before I leave for work

All of these things occurred to me when Cooper and Dorothy started yelling at Jack and Jack started yelling at them, and I realized everyone was going to leave the house angry.  I wish they had occurred to me like 3 minutes sooner because I could superficially soothe everyone, but I literally had to leave the house in about 90 seconds or be late to class.

I feel like I am balancing too much stuff, and the thought of coming home at 3:30 to a house still dirty from the morning really bothers me, especially because the kids walk in the door and make a huge giant mess with mud and ice and salt and snack.  That happening in a house that is already a mess makes me twitch. But!  Does it bother me as much as the thought of being away from the kids all day after we all yelled at each other while getting out the door?  No.  It actually doesn't. 

Maybe  this crappy end-of-the-morning is a win  because I had such an important epiphany?  Bah.  Cheers to better mornings!


  1. So stressful!! We only clean bathroom and bedrooms on Saturdays because that's when there is time for me to force them to do it. And it's also when we are home the most, staring at the chaos. I like your epiphany!

  2. Anonymous4:46 PM

    That is stressful! Although I have to say your life would be easier if kids did their own beds every morning and kept their own bathroom clean at other times. I remember we had to as kids, even if results were sub-optimal, it created a habit and as we grew up we did a better job. My mom would've killed me if I ever thought of watching TV or lounging while she was working around the house. Either we were all pitching in or all taking a break.