Friday, June 29, 2018

June Gratitude and Also Things I Am Leaving in June

First of all, can I just toot my own horn (Yes, yes I can because this is my narcissistic little space) and tell you that I left all of the crap I said I would leave in May safely in May.  Except the FOMO.  I had less FOMO, and I went out of my way to just make my own damn plans, but I still felt a bit left out sometimes.  But seriously-- I stopped buying Oreos.  I kept Design Home off my phone, and I took my vitamins all of the days (by adding "vites" next to "5 water bottles" on my daily to-dos.)

Here's what I want to leave in June:

Housework martyrdom: I talked about this yesterday.  Basically, I am doing more housework than Ben is right now because I am doing more childcare than Ben is right now, and  need to figure out a way to not be a dick about it.  I have 2 plans:  First, I need to remember that Ben is using his time not doing domestic work to make actual cash money, and this is really important.  Second, I need to get the hell out of the house to actually work whenever I can, even if that means I can't go to the pool because I have THINGS TO DO.  I tend to squander opportunities to work outside the house because I want to hang out or take a nap.  that's an ok choice to make, but I can't make that choice and then resent Ben for working while I cram my work and housework into the same time slot.  Does that make sense?

Not writing:  Honestly, I don't know what the heck to do about this one.  I am waking up at 5 to do my adjunct work and my summer school work and yoga and cardio before the kids get up and maaaaaybe also squeezing in a blog post.  Then for the rest of the effing day, I am MOM-- driving them places, feeding them, cleaning up their stuff, etc.  I need to squeeze some time with my book in there, too, but I am not having luck finding a place.  I think I need to do a couple of things:

  •  Change my idea of what work looks like.  Maybe it's not about 2500 words.  maybe it;s about 25 sustained minutes everyday with the project.  Or, like 25 minutes 3 days a week and an hour 2 days a week?
  • GET OUT OF THE HOUSE even if I am going to come home to more domestic work than I left and put words on the page
  • Squeeze in some time when the kids are around.  This one is hard for me because they never leave me alone, but first thing in the morning or right after lunch are pretty chill times.  I usually fill these windows with chores around the house, but maybe I could bump that work to make room for my book?  I can wash dishes with everyone yelling at me, but I can't flesh out some dialog, you know?
Eating food that makes me feel bad: For me, that's the downfall of intermittent fasting.  I am so damn hungry when I finally get to eat that I make poor choices and end a meal feeling bad.  This is something to work on everyday-- good choices will make me feel better in the long run.

June Gratitude:

POTY!  We're doing it again on a regular schedule, and I love it!  Even if no one is listening to us, we have fun for that hour or so when we are recording.

Settling into our summer routine:  The living is easy and I couldn't be happier.

Free time: I complain about how I am spending my time, but the only person I have to blame is me.

Having big kids:  I am carrying my tiny purse again.  Everyone can buckle their own seatbelt.  Going places with them is like taking my friends out for the day.  Even the grocery store is NBD.  These are halcyon days.

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