Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Beatrix: An A+ Dog, but I Kind of Maybe Don't Really Like Dogs

Beatrix is a wonderful dog.

She only barks when she has been outside by herself too long.

She has never chewed up anything and all of her puppy chewing needs have been met by raw hides.

She is very good about going outside to go to the bathroom.  She does this really annoying thing where she squeezes out pee in random rooms to mark them sometimes, and we have done our share of rug laundry, but for a puppy, she is remarkably neat.

She has some short hair that sheds but it hasn't been a problem yet.

She stinks, but she likes to be groomed.  She doesn't mind having her teeth brushed.

We gave up on puppy class because our kids have too many activities, but that's OK because she can sit and play fetch and walk generally well on a leash.

 Maxi dresses and skirts, frayed edges on shorts or pants, brightly colored socks on feet, and dish towels drive her insane, and she cannot help but bite the hell out of all of these things.  It's fairly adorable.

She is a big help cleaning up under Dorothy's chair, and she particularly loves Cheerios and oatmeal.

Harry and Jack love to walk her, although we just found out the other day that they hadn't been cleaning up her poop.  THEY ARE NOW.

Ben loves to snuggle with her on the couch after the kids go to bed.

She really is a perfect, wonderful, well behaved little dog.

But you guys?  I don't really like having a dog.  And I say this when it is nice outside, and she can spend her day in the back yard getting tangled in the soccer net and using one of Ben;s stray lawn-mowing Native shoes as a pillow when she sprawls in a sunny spot of the grass.  Because her best quality is that she sleep about 18 to 20 hours a day.  After lunch, she takes a nap at the same time the babies do, and she generally prefers this nap to happen outside on the deck or in the grass. She scarfs her lunch, eats Dorothy's crumbs, and gently knocks on the sliding door with her face until I let her out.  She comes back in a couple of hours and takes another nap in her dog bed until the big kids get home.  Then they walk her around the block and she heads bak into the yard where she sometimes stays until the little kids are in bed.  Usually, she scratches on the door to come in during dinner because there are crumbs to be had.  But she doesn't eat her food in earnest until about 8:30 when she wolfs two bowls in succession and passes out on the ottoman until we go to bed.  Then she sleeps in her house until about 6, and the whole lazy day starts again.

In the morning when she has had her first walk and eaten her breakfast and is playing with the kids and everyone is screaming and balls are flying, I kind of wish I maybe didn't have a dog (even though everyone else is pleased as punch).  And rainy days when she is at loose ends?  KIND OF A PAIN IN MY ASS and prime peeing on the floor days.  I am worried that winter is going to be like one, long rainy day.

In summary:  Beatrix is awesome. The ideal dog, even.  But I don't think I like dogs as much as I used to because even the easiest sweetest best dog (which she is) is still a giant pain in the ass.  But she;s our pain in the ass, and we love her.

(I mean seriously-- sometimes the boys forget to shut the back gate, and she COMES ON THE FRONT PORCH AND WAITS TO BE LET IN.  She is a freakishly wonderful animal.)


  1. Wow -- she does sound like a fantastic puppy! She's better behaved than most adult dogs.
    As for "Winter is coming," the good news is most dogs love the snow. Even the ones who hate the rain, love the snow. While she won't be able to hang out outside for her post-lunch nap, she should be much better about going to the bathroom in the snow than she is about going potty in the rain.
    I'm sorry you aren't loving dog ownership as much as the rest of the family. You have such a houseful of responsibilities already that I was hoping Beatrix would bring joy & laughter to your day.

  2. I'm the same way. I like my dog but I'm not wild about the chewing/being underfoot/barking/responsibility part. But he lets Averson climb on his head and I'm hoping he'll keep bad guys away. And C likes him an awful lot.

  3. No shame. I don't like pets. I have two cats, the second cat was to replace the cat who died in February from an unexpected stroke that had us all bawling our eyes out. Should we have bought a cat a mere 10 days after the first one died? Probably not. Will I cry when either of these two cats we have now die? Yes, like a freaking baby. Will I ever get cats again? Nope. And for real this time. I'm just not a pet person. The pros don't outweigh the cons for me.

    But, if I die before Evan, he says he'll get a dog. More power to him.

  4. Tripod8:30 AM

    I didn't like dogs when I has kids! Now it's fine! We LOVE Beatrix and would take her anytime