Friday, January 13, 2023

5 on a Friday: Cheapskate Edition

 1. It has been awhile since I was the parent of a toddler, and in the intervening years, I forgot how much I love the library. During the pandemic, we had to pick up our books curbside. Then libraries opened with masks and community spaces roped off and everyone did their business quickly, grabbing books and running out the door  without lingering-- and libraries are built for lingering. Slowly, though, germy community toys took their place of honor, and snotty pre-schoolers started to fill the worn out carpets again. When Dorothy was in 3K and 4K, she and I went to story time every single week, but Minnie and I have only recently become regular patrons. On Friday last week, I didn't want to spend money on an activity (thank you, my Q1 tracking spending goal), so we went to a new-to-her library, and she loved playing with the grimy toys for over an hour while I ordered new reading glasses, sent 2 work emails, and made a grocery list. SO MUCH WINNING.







2. Minnie has quite the budding sense of style. She picked this whole ensemble out herself, down to the inexplicable tutu and the Christmas leggings, plus the requested brown bow.


3. We are heading into a long weekend next week with NO PLANS to travel, and I really wish we were traveling. I have SUCH travel envy, and I hope that will be enough to make me GET ON A DAMN AIRPLANE. Jealousy is usually a great motivator for me, so we’ll see.


3. I have these tight jeans that are even tighter than they were last time I wore them, and I think I need to wear them once a week because they are good, like, sentinel jeans. If they fit, then all is well with my eating habits. But if they don’t? I need to figure out where to cut back or how to make indulgences even healthier. I am all about intuitive eating, and I understand all the perils of believing that the only healthy body is a thin body, blah blah blah. But also, I don’t live in a vacuum, so I want to be a certain size because to me a certain size is more attractive, thanks hegemony. I think this needs its whole post, actually— being straight sized and also trying to be an intuitive eater and not make your kids nuts about their bodies and UGH.


4. I have a full-on digital NYT subscription through my campus library, and I had no idea I did until THREE DAYS AGO when I was looking for a specific article to share with my TAs and wanted to get it from the library so I could send a PDF and not subject anyone to a paywall. I searched the library databases for “New York times” because I thought I could get it through ProQuest or LexisNexis (which I could), but a plain old NYT database showed up in my search, and when I clicked it, it was like hey you, you have a digital NYT substitution through your university— why dion’t you sign up?  And I was like WHY DON’T I? So now I have all the archives, the full paper every day, the phone app— ALL OF IT. How fabulous, huh? I have already updated discussion boards for this semester and sent things to my teaching team. And it’s only January!!

5. Tracking my spending is really eye-opening, and it is something I haven’t done since we were saving money for a house down payment and did the Dave Ramsey cash envelopes (we saved such a ridiculous amount of money SO FAST with this method but also hated it). I am trying to not edit my spending too much just because I am tracking, but as you know, the act of writing it down makes me more careful. In 2 weeks, I have spent only $15 on entertainment (TLG coffee date with Minnie after class and the only coffee out I have gotten all year—yay!). The bulk of my spending has been on food, even though Ben has also gotten food from Costco and Whole Foods, but I didn’t track that— only mine. My impulse buys have been house related (a veggie storage tray for the fridge, extra twin blankets to make sheet changing even easier (also we are missing 2 blankets and ew where did they go?)), and we have had some kid expenses pop up (USA swim registration, AP test fees) that are right around $100 each and seem like one-offs but I bet are not, and now I am so excited to see what next week’s random fee will be. ALSO, I just re-read that paragraph and holy cats those are the MOST DEPRESSING impulse buys in the entire universe. I have a separate category for makeup and skin care, and I am interested to monitor this one because I get my day and night face washes and creams from Amazon Subscribe and Save and get thickening shampoo and conditioner delivered monthly, too, which I am actually not tracking. I decided that I would just chart my own day-to-day spending, not subscriptions or things on auto-pay. I will say that looking at my happy little rainbow spreadsheet makes me want to not shop and instead reuse and repurpose things I already have, so this is environmentally a huge win if nothing else comes of it **shrug**.






24 comments:

  1. I like Minnie's style! The tutu pulls the whole thing together!
    I hear you on #3. It's hard! On the one hand, I don't always want to buy all new pants. On the other, I don't want to give my size any more thought ever again. So, it's a conundrum.
    The library is such a gift! I used to love taking the boys there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Such a gift! Thanks, Andrew Carnegie. But, like, you can keep your views on pauperism.

      Delete
  2. "I think this needs its whole post, actually— being straight sized and also trying to be an intuitive eater and not make your kids nuts about their bodies and UGH." You know I am here for all conversations of this nature.

    The library was a HUGE part of our lives when the kids were little. It makes me so sad, honestly, that phase is over. Not the little years, necessarily, but some of those incredible experiences that are in retrospect very fleeting. I loved going to the library and curling up with a book or magazine while the kids played with different toys and enjoyed a neutral, calming space.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It IS a neutral, calming space— such a good description.

      Delete
  3. We love the library!! We go there every Saturday morning before going to gymanstics. I love our Saturday mornings - there is no hemming and hawing about what we will do! Ours has lots of great toys and then a seasonal search and find that Paul loves to do. And then we check out about 20 books. I would love to know where I am in terms of borrowing versus other patrons. Like surely I have to be in the top 5th percentile of library users. Leave it to me to get competitive about library borrowing. ;)

    I feel the same way about eating/sizing. It's best if I am regularly wearing pants with buttons... My weight has crept up a bit over the holidays between our Mexico trip and eating way more ice cream than I should. I want to be a person who can eat intuitively but I just can't, especially when my husband buys a gallon of ice cream - which I've asked him to STOP doing because I am an abstainer, not a moderator like he is.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahaha -- welcome to adulthood where impulse buys include veggie trays and test fees. I love it. Also, the free NYT subscription is amazing! I am very envious.

    And SENTINEL JEANS. That is so smart. Although all my sentinel jeans abandoned their posts awhile ago. I hear you loud and clear with point 3. It's all SO FRAUGHT.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It really is fraught. Even knowing I have a problem doesn’t really help.

      Delete
  5. please tell us more about the thickening shampoo/conditioner, please! does it work??? my hair is fine AND thin, which is not optimal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. https://www.forhers.com/c/hl/quiz It DOES work

      Delete
    2. Katie4:51 AM

      I was going to ask about this! I have fine, thin hair.. I tried thickening shampoo once but it still looked fine and then. So I went back to my cheap stuff!

      Delete
    3. I really like it and can see a difference in my hair

      Delete
  6. Anonymous12:12 PM

    1. I love the library! It was the best when the kids were storytime age, but even now that mine are older we still go quite a bit to check out books, board games, use their super cool art studio/maker space, or participate in one of their author visits/special programs/etc. 2. Minnie's style is the best! 3b. I would gently push back against the idea of having sentinel jeans. I think that idea, as well as the general ideas of cutting back/limiting indulgences/etc. go directly against intuitive eating. I do think we have been taught to focus on our body size as somehow being important to our value, and that is not our fault, but we can begin to move the conversation in a better direction by refusing to focus on it. I think the biggest way we will not make our kids nuts about their bodies is if we don't comment on the size of their bodies or ours or anyone's. I just think there are more important and interesting conversations to have. And, of course, it is your blog and you can write about whatever you like, but you might consider how another person - maybe your daughters even one day in the future - might feel reading a post in which you joke or complain about your body size being too large, if she is at that time in a larger sized body than the one you were in when you wrote the post. I know everyone is at a different point in their processing of our culture's obsession with thinness/diets/etc., but I have gotten a lot of valuable insight from Virginia Sole-Smith's work. (I hope this feedback doesn't come across as harsh, as it is only intended as offering another perspective, and I really do love your blog!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES to everything here. Intuitive eating on the daily is great for me and I feel happier and just LIGHTER re: my body. BUT I cannot pretend to live in a vacuum. I still want to be smaller, even as I stand outside that want and critique it.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8:04 PM

      Yes - I totally get it - it's complicated for sure!

      Delete
  7. Anonymous11:27 PM

    I love all of this. The return to the library as an event rather than an errand, sentinel jeans and clothing sizes and all that comes with that, and the spend tracking, which I’m going to steal for this month. After seeing the insane balance on my Amazon card I’m thinking I also need a break from online shopping…

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amazon.Blergh. Sometimes its saves me as a working mom of many, but also— the I’m pulse shopping!!

      Delete
    2. IMPULSE, obvs

      Delete
  8. I feel like if you're a toddler, you get to wear whatever you want. At what other time in your life can you just wear a tutu to the grocery store or library without getting looks or judgments cast upon you?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely a perk of toddlerhood

      Delete
  9. I agree:the brownish and lingering in a library is the core of the experience. I have walked through aisle many times and just enjoyed it. I just realized our library also offers craft and educational sessions. I believe they are targeted for teenagers and I am wonder if a 40 year old can join... I am still building up courage to ask...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Our library has EXCELLENT adult programming— crafts, cooking class, book club— it’s so wonderful

      Delete
  10. I am a bit of a *nerd* and like to track and measure things whenever possible, so you can imagine, I am a budgeter and like to see where all the money goes.... LOL it can be quite eye-opening. Tedious, but also super-helpful with habits.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Already SO helpful. And I am excited to track trends— I have a feeling I will do it all year

      Delete