Thursday, May 15, 2014


I got horrifically, violently, stomach-flu-ally ill on my birthday. IT WAS THE WORST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER.

I was at work proctoring an exam for students who need exam accommodations, and I started to feel sea sick looking at my computer.  A few minutes later I realized I was shivering.  A few minutes after THAT my arms started to feel tingly and I had to put my head on the table in front of me.  That's when I dragged myself to the bathroom and stood just inside the door of the biggest stall and stared at the toilet wondering how close to it I could actually let my face get.  I decided NOT VERY, so I hobbled back down the hall to another classroom where one of my TAs was giving her own exam to tell her I needed to leave and to please check on the students down the hall.  I did not call my boss out of a dissertation defense to tell him I had to go home-- BECAUSE DECORUM, OBVS--so I sat shivering in my office with the heat turned up to 85 until the meeting got out.  My appearance horrified him, BTW-- that's how good I looked.

On my drive home, I kept thinking I was going to pass out and I almost called Ben to come get me like 3 times.  Luckily I made it, climbed under my covers, and stayed there for 12 hours, coming out only to vomit.  I could not even sleep-- that's how shitty I felt.  The blankets hurt my skin.  I WAS SO SICK.

Weight loss: be careful what you wish for.

Dorothy's new thing is dress up.  She put on her bonnet and necklace/headband herself.
When I was sick, I could not get up with Dorothy, so Ben went in to her room, and she was like what the fuck man?  This is not how we do things.  He brought his blanket and pillows in there, and she slept with him on the floor.  He said he could not stay in our bedroom because my complaining was keeping him up.
I felt pretty horrible the next day but was well enough to volunteer at the kids' school (YOU'RE WELCOME) and lie on the couch sort of watching the babies.  Cooper can always cheer me up.
Breaking news:  DOROTHY LOVES EGGS.
Ben surprised me with presents I was not expecting, and his parents sent me a Sephora gift card-- my fave,  My parents and my grandma sent me Amazon cards, and I bought a Fuji Instax Mini90, which I have been wanting forever.  It came today-- happy birthday to me!!
Biggest bummer of the whole debacle:  The last thing I really ate was cookie dough and my birthday cookie cake.  And that's what makes me feel sick now.  I CAN'T EAT COOKIE DOUGH OR COOKIES.  Who the hell am I?


  1. Oh no! Hope you're on the mend soon. You totally deserve a birthday do-over.

  2. That sounds TERRIBLE! Glad you're feeling better. Very Bridget Jones of you to lose weight that way!

  3. You definitely need a birthday do over. Glad you're doing better now!

  4. Anonymous12:30 PM

    we r the same age ,but you look soooooooooooooooooooooo much more younger

    Dorothy is a CUTIE pie

    Hqppy b'day to you:-)

    usual anony commenter