Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Some crazy shit went down in the dollhouse today.
I asked Harry for clarification.

He seemed to anticipate my ultimate inquiry-- WTF is going on with the rhino, man?

Jack's school is having a toy drive, and his teachers have been hyping up the idea of charitable donation to the special snowflakes, who came up with totally ridiculous we're-too-privileged-for-our-own-good-and-might-grow-up-to-be-republicans-omg-clutch-your-pearls reasons why some kids might not have toys. Lots of Andrew Carnegie, the-poor-deserve-to-be-so logic there. Anyway, I tried to involve Jack in toy selection, and he was SO GREEDY. I suggested we ditch this cumbersome planet that they never play with, and it is suddenly his top toy.
But still, we set aside the big action figures who came with the planet and are not the same scale as any of the rest of their toys, a gorilla that walks on his knuckles (or would if he ever had batteries, but since neither Jack nor Harry can ever remember to turn off a toy, he's usually powerless), and a Fisher Price baby phone that we bought Cooper for Chrismukkah only to discover the exact same phone in a box of baby toys in our storage room.
(He totes loves it, BTW)
Tonight, Jack burst into sad, sad tears as he was climbing into his bed about how much he was going to miss those toys. I tried to build him up with a big speech about what a great thing he was doing to donate his toys to kids who needed toys, but h was so wretchedly sad about it, I totally caved and said we'd just donate the phone. I AM THE PROBLEM. IT IS MY FAULT THAT ENTITLEMENT PROGRAMS ARE ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK BECAUSE MY KIDS ARE SO ENTITLED ACTING. I threw in an extra Power Rangers samurai morpher I found stashed in my bathroom closet still in the package (WTF?). You guys, we have SO MANY TOYS. Harry's last playdate paused at the door to our playroom and said, "Wow, you have more toys than a toy store." You would barf from the excess of it all if you walked into our storage room and saw all of the SHELVES of unopened board games and toys that are waiting to be rotated into the mix. No wonder they are so greedy.

Greedy but also adorable!
Which is probably what Mitt Romney's mother said about him.

Cooper woke up crabby, and I needed to brush my teeth, so I plopped him in a bathroom sink: Instant good mood!
Oh! I tried o get a bang trim on Monday but the beauty school by my office was closed (what can I say-- I like the thrill), and I was too busy with students and meetings and children on Tuesday, and I was 110% mom today, and MY BANGS HAVE EATEN MY FACE.
BUT! All those years of slumber parties in the 80s really paid off-- check out my awesome French braid
Cooper is moving into that stage where he just destroys shit full time. Now he's a part time destroyer because he can only slither on his tummy and roll places and he can't always get to a sitting position by himself, so he has to be placed by shelves and cabinets to really do some damage. He full on ate that Dora book, BTW, and I had to throw the page pieces away.
Oh! Shit! I forgot: We are getting a new floor because ours is defective. Bummer, sort of because what a PITA, but awesome because a free new floor? Sure! We currently have Shaw Laminate in trinity ash, and we like it, but we are considering hardwood instead. It has to be Shaw since the manufacturer is paying. Opinions on fake wood vs. real?

Jack is such a happy little elf on days that it's just me and him and Cooper. But then we pick up Harry and he turns into the menacing little brother from hell who screams a lot and jumps on stuff.
Ben and I got mad at Harry a couple weeks ago, and told him to stop bringing home work that was illegible (because he goofs off sometimes and just flat out scribbles on his paper). He has since stepped it up big time, and he stands next to us with a sweet little nervous smile while we look at his work folder. Today I said, "Wow, harry. This 'fish persin' is awesome, and so in this 'bat tung'" (I LOVE kindergarten spelling), and he said "I know. I am doing my best work." So sweet!
He also loves eating his after school snack outside. And I? Love not cleaning up crumbs.


  1. Anonymous9:40 AM

    so enjoyed the information imparted this morning..such wonderful children, glad I'm way past that stage and Great Grandma, but would love to spoil them first-hand..Bomma

  2. OMG Jack is an illegible scribbler, too. And hfis teacher always writes "use finger spaces" on his homework. It's like he's a run-on sentence Mommyblogger. I can't imagine where he is getting it from...

    Also laughed that Coop was in the sink in TWO pictures! You should tell all the new moms to stop buying exersaucers and just use sinks.