Saturday, August 07, 2010

5 years, yesterday



I have decided to make an anniversary tradition out of wearing my old rehearsal dinner dress and wedding shoes out to dinner. Next year, I'll think about losing the tan lines. Yikes.


I drank waaaaaay too much last night. Just like on my wedding, actually. The day after we got married, we met all our families for a big breakfast before heading over to my parents' house to open wedding gifts because our flight to Mexico didn't leave until Monday morning. We were both all pissy about getting up so early, you know, for breakfast at 10. Flash forward five years where no matter how wasted we get or late we stay out, we're up making breakfast by 6:25.

Ugh.

Both boys went to bed well before the sitter arrived at 7 last night, so they are both super chipper and delightful this morning. We? Are not.

But we were last night when we took this downtown selfie.


Last night was great. We walked from Ben's office downtown, stopping at a bar where I had 2 lemon drops that destroyed me. I tottered on my wedding shoes around the square to our restaurant and the world didn't stop spinning until midway through my salmon. I had a glass of champagne by my plate and sipped it a little. Then with a particularly emphatic gesture, I knocked it all the hell over the table cloth, Ben, and the back of the banquette, missing the older lady next to him who was scrutinizing her amuse bouche (heirloom tomatoes with oil and cheese--so delicious) at that moment and didn't see the show.

The restaurant is a particular favorite of mine that uses only local and organic ingredients, so its tiny menu is always changing depending on availability. I had a tangy field green salad, and my salmon was fantastic, served with cucumbers in a, um, sauce or something (I could not totally read the menu's fine print). Ben had scallops, a tenderloin, and a cheese plate. I inhaled chocolate hazelnut cake and a tiny pot of decaf.

We stumbled to an undergraduate bar down the street to sit outside and wait for my brother to come pick us up, and Ben said I had to have a drink, but I sure as heck didn't drink it. I think the hippy in the headphones next to us might have slammed it when we left. More power to him.

See that drink? Just a prop.

I gave myself a french braid updo last night secured with about sixty million bobby pins and when I pulled them out before bed (at 11 because we are really that lame) (along with some hair apparently, which was a nice surprise on my vanity this morning. Blech) I flashed back to my sister-in-law's wedding five years ago in June, where I had the most gigantic updo ever created and sat on the edge of the jacuzzi tub in our room after the reception and lined hundreds of hairpins on its marble edge while soaking my poor bridesmaid's feet in the bubbles. And then I slept until 11.

Ah, those crazy kid-free days. Whatever did I have to bitch about?

Wow, Ben said to me last night as we crossed a street after dinner. Five years. I feel like now we're really in it for the long haul.

At the time I died laughing, but he's right. It feels like a real milestone, and we probably wont feel this accomplished for another five years, when our kids will be much older and August 7 might see us both sleeping it off.

Friday, August 06, 2010

Friday Afternoon Fiction Meme: Poetry

Once again, I am linking up with the Red Dress Club and their Friday Red Writing Hood. Tody's prompt:

Please write a narrative poem that focuses on the workings of a family, whether it be your own or one that you've created from scratch.


I have to tell you this prompt gave me pause. Even though I minored in poetry writing in undergrad (after my parents said I should rethink my love of geology because a geology major or minor was NOT PRACTICAL. Poetry, apparently, is the stuff of the Protestant work ethic. But I digress), poetry has not ever been my writerly thing. Or else I have never felt comfortable claiming it as such.


Daddy Goes to Work and Mom Stays Home

Coffee pot sputters, purrs, sputs.
Milk slides, kisses, splashes plastic cups.
Waffle?
Me Waffle?
at my knee. Not hungry! Not hungry! Not hungry!
from a voice banging Thomas on train table, deafening clanging dulled
by coffee on lips slipping down my welcoming throat propelling
me to toaster, fridge, cabinet, table.
Plates they can't shatter, forks that won't spear, knives that can't cut,
paper napkins printed with berried holly in August,
Dora exploring the screen in front of our table, we break
fast with cream cheese, peanut butter.
Above our heads, heavy
footsteps, blanketed thuds, basket scraping carpet.
Laundry fairy makes our beds,
is jovial in the kitchen,
escaping with old dinners in Tupperware, blessed coffee in styrofoam. He
drops kisses on their heads, mine.
Shoulders bag, trots down stairs arms overflowing
with yesterday's clothes, last night's towels.
Washer lid creaks open, soap slithers, knob clicks, water rushes,
lid bangs, back door slams.
Garage door heaves itself open with a scream
that almost needs attention.
Car revs, gravel crunches, garage screams again,
softer this time, resigned.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

This creeped me out

Ben had our dirty, dirty kids in the tub the other night, and I was vacuuming the upstairs. In our room, I saw these tiny little hands reaching out from under our quilt, super creepy style:

I was relieved when I lifted up the bedspread and saw this sad little guy:

Next to our night table was a giant hairy spider. Neither Ben nor I could tell if it was real or a toy, and we took turns chaperoning the kids in the tub while the other person held the vacuum and stared with horror at it.

Finally Ben vacuumed it up, and we will never again be able to empty the vacuum canister in the garage because WHAT IF IT WAS A REAL SPIDER?

If you couldn't tell from the not-one-but-two vacuum anecdotes in this post, there's nothing going on around here.

My brother moved in, and I promise to take pics of his place later on. Last week we saw Despicable Me on a rainy afternoon, and it was super cute. We've been to the pool. A lot. Tomorrow, I am thinking about spending a couple of hours at my office doing a bit more fall prep work, but I might go get a massage instead because the being me. It is rough. Riveting stuff, huh?

What's new with you?

Saturday, July 31, 2010

My kids are currently losing their marbles

Because UNCLE! BEN! is MOVING! here TODAY!

That's right. My little brother is moving to our town and is going to live less than a mile away from us, across from a park we often walk to, in fact. We went shopping today and bought him a couch because despite our plans to give him our couch, we never found one we liked enough to buy for ourselves. Ben, though, found a sweet couch today that makes into a queen size bed (perfect for when our other little brother comes to town), has storage compartments under the armrest cushions (perfect for remote control storage), and is able to be picked up tomorrow, meaning he can move it right into his new place, along with the queen size bed he scored. We went to Target where he stocked up on things like a Brita pitcher, a vacuum cleaner, and bathroom decor, meaning he's really only missing a TV, coffee table, bookshelf, and dresser. And as much as I would love to help him buy those things, tomorrow is supposed to be the first decent pool day we've had in a week. So. Yeah. My Ben will have an awesome time, I am sure, hauling shit from car and U-Haul to apartment-- I wouldn't want to interfere.

Hope to post some pictures of the pad tomorrow (I'd say bachelor pad, but it's not because he has an awesome girlfriend who will hopefully be here tomorrow, too)

Some sleeping hijinks lately:

Chilly


Yesterday was cloudy and gray and too cold for the pool. We played at the park for awhile after my morning workout, and Harry and Jack were warm enough from running around but I was chilly watching them from my spot on the concrete.

I fantasized about cold nights and Uggs with jean skirts and hoodies for about 3 seconds, and then I started thinking of the snow and slush and Winter with a capital W. Ugh.

(I am totally being a dram queen, BTW, because it was like 72 yesterday, far from freezing.

Jamie gave Jack this Classic Pooh (a bear whose name is ACTUALLY Pooh-- perfect), and he carries it everywhere, which is both adorable and sad.
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Look at his buried toes-- the kid cannot keep his shoes on at a playground-- he loves tires, rocks, woodchips, dirt between his crowded little toes.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Friday night fiction meme

Tonight, I am following Corinne's lead and linking up to The Red Dress Club's friday fiction meme.

Here's the prompt:
For this Friday, write a short piece of fiction about seeing an ex in the grocery store from the first person point-of-view. Instead of writing from the female perspective, we want you to write from the male perspective.


Road Well Traveled

When I see her in front of me in the cereal aisle, I feel like a dirty old man for reading the writing on her sweats. Pink, they say, of course, like the asses all of the undergraduates in my English classes, girls who have rolled from their warm beds to the cold tables in my room with their bright bra straps showing in the wide v-necks of their white t-shirts. Sometimes when I am scanning the room for a face to call on, I wonder where they find these t-shirts that cling so well and are so thin I can see the softness of their skin and the ridges of the elastic in the waistbands of their sweat pants. You know, so I can buy one for my wife.

Like my rumpled students, the woman in front of me in the cereal aisle has her long, brown hair piled high on her head in a blob, tendrils escaping to slide down her neck and tickle her ears. She's wearing dark Ugg boots, too, and the three inches of leg showing between her pants and the cuffed sheepskin is tan like the backs of her arms. From behind, panty-lineless with a thin strip of green bra stretched tight beneath her t-shirt, I think she's about 18, and I feel like an asshole.

She stops to contemplate a row of Kashi boxes, and I swerve to avoid running the wheels of my cart over her heels. I glimpse her profile before I whirl to stare at the oatmeal on the opposite side of the aisle. I notice large sunglasses perched on top of her head, a bangless forehead with tissue-paper wrinkles, and creases around her mouth. In the baby seat of her cart is a bottle of red wine, a bottle I inspected at the beginning of my trip and rejected in favor of a $9.99 cabernet because I only have $60 in my wallet, and the only thing on my list more expensive than organic chicken is the quantity of organic peaches my wife has requested, and if I get regular peaches or factory-farmed chicken or milk that is, say, not organic but RBST-free, and spring for the better wine, my wife will purse her lips at me when she unloads the bags. And if this were the only consequence-- a moue-- then I would buy the wine, but I will get emails all week with links to stories about children with behavioral disorders and early onset puberty caused by pesticides and antibiotics and poorly treated livestock.

The woman in the t-shirt so thin I can make out the hollow of her navel when I glance over my shoulder and see her plunking her cereal next to the brie and 3 granny smith apples in the basket of her cart must be at least 21, I revise. I remember the wrinkles around her mouth. 25 then, I adjust, maybe 27. But she's tan, so probably 25. In any case, I am a 35 year-old lech shopping for a family of five , and nothing on the list organized by the geography of my kitchen cabinets, fridge, and freezer that my wife emailed me just before the end of my graduate seminar, and email that made my BlackBerry buzz on the table and shook my students out of their Foucault-induced stupor, lurks in this aisle-- I was cutting through on my way to snag frozen bagels and some $5 cage-free eggs.

I throw a cylinder of oats in my cart just for the hell of it and treat myself to one last look at the Kashi woman who is using lipliner to scribble through words scrawled on the back of a receipt. I notice the way she chews on her bottom lip in concentration, her teeth white against a thick layer of plum gloss that bleeds into the lines around her mouth, and the gesture makes me nostalgic. She looks like a woman who used to arrange her lips around the thin barrel of a cigarette, at least 20 times a day. Only smokers and perpetual frowners get wrinkles like that, and this woman with her tousled hair and toes bare inside her fur-lined shoes and cart full of food for one doesn't look like she has anything to frown about.

Under the florescent lights of aisle 11, I want to be in my freshman dorm room with its filthy beige linoleum tile floors and its stained eggshell cement-block walls. I had a futon, a roommate in the marching band who was gone almost every weekend, and a space on a smoking floor. I miss the Natty Light cans full of backwash and ash that lined the wall under the window. I miss falling into sheets my mother washed once a semester whether they needed it or not, sometimes alone, but more often not. I miss being delighted at $1 rail nights and ecstatic for $2 you-call-its.

No one called me Daddy. No one called me Dr. Miller. No one called me by my full name, even though they know me better than anyone in the whole world and if every other fucking person on the planet calls me Nick, why do they-- why does she-- always call me Nicholas in a voice that falls on the third syllable like she's disappointed because she is disappointed. Always. No matter how closely I follow the list. Sometimes the only way I can shuffle down another aisle is to park myself behind a great ass or to imagine how disappointed she'll really be the day I wad her list into a tiny ball and throw it in her lemon-sucking face. Metaphorically.

"Nick?"

At first, I think I am having a stroke in the cereal aisle and that my last view of earth will be a row of brown Honey Nut Cheerios boxes and the dirty wheels of my cart as my potbellied body splats on the black and white floor. My name floats around my head in a throaty cloud.

"Nick Miller? No way!"

It is the Kashi woman in the teenager's sweat pants, and she is smiling at me, and if her nipples have anything to say about it, she looks happy to see me.

I don't respond, and she frowns a little, sticking out her sit-com star teeth to chew on that plum lip again, and the gesture makes me step back toward the oatmeal, grazing the shelf with my khaki-covered ass. If the two of us had met 2 years ago, say, in this very aisle, standing this very distance apart, I could have taken at least two steps back before rubbing the merchandise, but girls are not the only ones who eat their feelings, and I feel trapped. Publish or perish is academia's Sophie's choice, and some days I am one pound of organic peaches away from choosing the latter.

This woman in front of me who will go home and drink expensive wine and nibble soft cheese, I know her. Knew her. It was our second semester in college, and we knew everything about the world and about each other and about how to get the most out of our parents' money. She left her ash in my Natty Light cans, and we spent spring break on South Padre Island, and I remember she was sweet to my band geek roommate, and she always called Absolut for her $2.

I want to ask her if she's an urban planner like she'd urbanely planned to be or if she still likes U2 and pizza with mushrooms, if she bought herself the heavy diamond studs in her ears, if she always dresses like a sophomore English student, if she's read my book.

But then what? We're FaceBook friends, and she tells me how cute my daughters are?

Two paths diverge, I tell myself. My BlackBerry is buzzing in my front left pocket. My list is long.

"Nick?" she asks, her earlier conviction gone.

If I walk away, I think, she won't confuse my bloated self for the kid she used to know. This fat old tweed-covered man here. He couldn't be that kid, she'll think.

He shouldn't be, anyway.

Play bawl

Jack would like nothing more than to play tee ball like Harry. He always warms up with Ben before the game




and then returns to his spot as a reluctant observer while the big kids take the field.


Harry was playing so well the other night. He got a huge hit, and he sort of remembered to run the bases in the right order.


He kind of paid attention when he played third base-ish, and he hustled after a few balls.

The other moms and I were talking about fall activities, and I was almost all set to sign Harry up for the fall tee ball league with a few of his current teammates when he started crying at first base and ran off the field demanding water. He chugged some and went back to his team. All seemed sort of well, so I turned my attention back to chatting.

Next thing I knew, Ben was all pissy with me for not paying attention, and Harry was having a sobbing, gasping, flailing fit over batting order.

So. Yeah. Maybe not so much of the fall tee ball. Just soccer, swim, and ballet, I guess.

(And don't worry-- Jack finally gets to play ball in a multi-sports class for babies (toddlers) while Harry is at soccer. I am sparing him the indoor swim lessons because he hates them, and he can't do ballet until he's 3. But still. Ball class. Finally.)