Friday, September 20, 2019

Hilarious/Horrifying Couch Saga Post Script

Despite my saying that the reason they couldn't keep a cushion was because the couch needed to be whole to go to a new home, no one wanted it.

JUST AS THE KIDS WERE WALKING OUT THE DOOR FOR SCHOOL, the large item pick up garbage truck came by.  I was envisioning a humane sort of crane situation where my giant item would be whisked away in one piece with more opportunities for a family to love it.  Instead, the large item pick up truck was a huge wood chipper thing for ITEMS, and it ATE OUR COUCH right in front of everyone's betrayed little  eyes.  I can still hear the sound of truck chewing up the wood frame and slurping down the couch's beloved pillows.

Next time I will call the thrift store and arrange for pick up.

When I gave Coop his smoothie, Jack said, "That's a generous pour."

Back to school night!

In-house study hall


  1. I actually snorted when reading "ATE OUR COUCH right before everyone's betrayed little eyes." Future therapy fodder for sure, but omg, who would have envisioned that end to such a stalwart piece of family furniture?

  2. I laughed so hard that I had a few tears. Oh my lawd! I wish there was a video. This is the kind of thing that your family will be talking about for decades. You’ll want to throw out their old toys and they’ll suggest a wood chipper. Harry will be mad at his best friend and Jack will suggest a wood chipper. Dorothy will be moving to her first apartment and not know what to do with the giant doll house she’s had since she was 4 and Harry will offer the wood chipper option. Cooper’s production company logo will feature a wood chipper. It’s moments like the sofa in the wood chipper that create hilarious family lore.