5 ON A FRIDAY: End-of-week stuff and nonsense

 1. Harry and Jack were gone all week visiting their grandparents in Naples. On the one hand, we missed them desperately, and I can’t believe this is my last year with all 5 kids at home. WHAT. On the other hand, we only had to run the dishwasher once a day, and my laundry app tells me that I only did 6 loads a day while they were gone, down from my normal NINE LOADS A DAY. Ben and I also got about 45 more minutes of sleep per night because we lived on Old People Time, and the boys were thrilled to tell us that their grandparents stay up over an hour later than we do when we are staying up late. BUT THEY ALSO DON’T GET UP AT 5 AM, BOYS. They had so much fun, and I am so grateful they got to have the time with their grandparents and traveling together as the life partners they are.

HOME

2. I know I pulled Minnie from preschool early for winter break because the germs were outrageous, but also! She can play by herself at the park while I sit on a bench, and this is a delightful development. She also felt the influence of peer pressure and potty trained in one single day, so that’s awesome. It’s amazing what a tiny tot can learn from 8-11am while viruses and bacteria are taking over her system.

3. Cooper really stepped up as Ace Big Brother while the other boys were gone. Piggy back rides. Games, Errands. EVEN SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS.

That picture is from 4:30 pm, when it is PITCH BLACK OUTSIDE. Thank goodness the darkest day is behind us. Literally. Metaphorically, who knows?

4. The kids want to bake cookies today. Gah. It’s fun until it isn’t, and the cookies always kind of gross me out because they require so much touching. But! I will be SO JOLLY you guys. SO FREAKING JOLLY. Possibly also a tiny bit drunk. Kidding. Maybe.

5.  Behold! The most realistic photo of relaxing with a whirling dervish three-year-old:

Holiday home stretch!

 Every day, I use my tall stiffer duster to knock spider webs off the tree topper, and the next day? AN EVEN MORE HORRIFYING WEB APPEARS. Tomorrow, I expect it to say SEASON’S GREETINGS, and the next day, I imagine the spider will eat us all.

Clearly the tree we chose was someone’s home, and I only hope the giant egg sac hatches AFTER the big day when the tree and all its residents are outside again.

Dorothy’s dance studio takes an academic style break, so we have a few weeks off from dropping her and picking her up. This meant that last night when we dropped Coop off at dive, we could go eat garbage for dinner! Usually, we also have to drop Dorothy off at dance without enough time to stop anywhere but also a little TOO much time to get there perfectly, and she has to arrive awkwardly early and eat packed food while Minnie and I go home and eat with whichever other kid(s) can join us. Garbage dinner is so much easier!!

Last! Dive! Drop! Off! Of! The! YEAAAAAAR!!

And listen! I DO come close to resenting all the time I spend driving in terrible traffic to the busiest part of town and then through the other busiest part of town at rush hour every night. But then! I SEE HOW AWESOME HE IS (check him on the 7.5)

We also enjoyed our last before school coffee run (Coop gets a smoothie tho)

Also, I need a cool mist humidifier to follow me and my hair around all day

I agree with Elisabeth’s holiday tip to eliminate excess packaging, but avoiding boxes makes for easy-to-guess gifts.

Today I have big plans to take the kids to Whole Foods (just moved to a huge new building) for lunch and hopefully to find some not-sad produce, wash some sheets, and do… nothing else. Maybe we’ll make these if we feel extra ambitious. I have a gift for Coop arriving tomorrow along with a gift for Ben and then one gift for Dorothy that will be wrap-ready by Friday—- and that’s IT!! **giant sigh of relief**

(But! I still have to figure out a few Eve things, and there will be some assembly OF COURSE. Gah).

Three cheers for winter break!!

EARS NOT CLEAR. WHAT.

 Honestly, I thought the doctor was going to be like why are you here wasting my time?? But instead, she almost gave Minnie another script for antibiotics. BECAUSE SHE STILL HAS GROSS THICK FLUID IN HER EAR. The Thanksgiving canary-in-a-coal-mine ear that kicked off the month of illness. WHAT. Also, why do none of the major drug manufacturers make ear Draino? IT SEEMS LIKE A SIMPLE PLUMBING PROBLEM TO ME.

Gah.

Minnie is not a candidate for tubes (a good plumbing solution, to be sure) because she has not had frequent enough infections (**eye roll** they seem frequent enough to me, but I am most decidedly NOT that kind of doctor).

Also! The doctor said right now Minnie does not have an ear infection, but she 100% COULD get one if she gets, say, a cold before the fluid drains. Her advice was to avoid exposing Minnie to more URIs right now. Cool, cool. THAT SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM.

The TL; dr for Dorothy and Cooper is that we postponed our Great Wolf Lodge visit until next month when they have a random day off school because when someone I trust tells me to avoid colds and then makes an involuntary moue of disgust when I mention an upcoming water park stay and advises against the trip, I listen. (That’s one of the reasons I wanted to keep the appointment despite the decline of “known” fevers in my tiny patient— I wanted to ask what she thought about germ exposure generally right now and this trip in particular. And it’s not that I didn’t want to shave my bikini line— COVID is on the rise here, etc etc etc).

I am for realZ done shopping. Still waiting for a couple of things to arrive. Still wrapping (forever. I will be wrapping forever), but I have purchased my last thing. (Well. One thing I ordered fr Ben is suddenly on back order, and I have been trying to cancel my order for THREE DAYS— if I am successful, I will really quick grab something to replace it, but this is just exchanging one thing for another similar thing and is not hard. If I am unsuccessful, he gets a New year’s gift **shrug**)

Minnie and I made gingerpeople yesterday morning so I could leave them out fro Dorothy and Coop to decorate while I took Minnie to the doctor

The end result exceeded my wildest expectations LOL

Honestly, after weekend Costco before Christmas, we should just go to the damn water park.

Oh, hello— emerging from my bacterial infection: Hanukkah, secret SANta, Coop in a suit

 OH I WAS SO SICK.

Fever every 4 hours that left me drenched in sweat when either Motrin or Tylenol would kick in. Cough. Headache. Extreme sinus pain. The cup of TJ’s gingerbread coffee I just drank is the first thing I have been able to TASTE in a WEEK.

Finally, I went to urgent care and got augmentin pills so huge they HAVE to be a choking hazard. 2 pills in, and I feel pretty ok. WHICH IS GOOD BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH TO DOOOOOOOOO.

(Harry is on the same meds for an ear infection. We all got RSV, and it sticks around for so long that wherever the fluid decides to pool —lungs! Ears! FACE!— gets a secondary infection, SO GROSS.)

Minnie was still not totally better on Friday, so I messaged her pediatrician’s office, but she couldn’t be seen by her doc until today— I took the appt and even though she’s ok, I am going to keep it because she was sick for so long— I want to make sure she’s totally fine before we go to the WI dells this week (Hashtag MOTY for sure).

We closed out Hanukkah with our annual SIBLING GIFT EXCHANGE. We have so many kids that they can be their own secret Santa squad— I love this tradition. (Obvi we buy all the gifts, but they choose for their sib. When they are adults, I see this tradition continuing nicely (only they’ll buy the gifts)— if they have kids, they can even just draw families out of the hat).

Minnie got Dorothy, and Dorothy got Minnie. They exchanged after school and before dance—before the bros got home, even.

The boys all got each other— a Lego from Harry to Coop; Crocs from Co-opt o Jack; Hey DUde shoes from Jack to Harry (bro-y gifts, all)

Minnie and I used our Hanukkah money from my mom. I took Dorothy for coffee and a pedicure

Minnie took her cash (IT MY TICKET) to Target. As we walked into the store— her with a unicorn purse on her should that was empty except for a random triangle-shaped puzzle piece and a $100 bill— she said I AM JUST LIKE A PERSON. I agreed, and she said I NOT FOOD. I guess this means I have to stop nibbling on her all the time. BUT HOW CAN I?? She is delicious.

I got a lovely package in the mail from the hilarious Ernie at No Small Feet. I absolutely adore the Secret SANta exchange. Thanks to San for organizing it— a wonderful tradition. And! Thank you, Ernie— these are darling.

Coop’s hockey team wanted to dress up before their Saturday game this weekend. NAILED IT:

Ugh. RSV. Ugh.

 I CANNOT TASTE OR SMELL RIGHT NOW AND THE LAST THING I ATE (that I could taste) WAS FREAKING FORZEN CHICKEN NUGGETS.

GAH.

I am testing negative on home tests (multiple. different brands, even), so I think it's "just" the RSV, and I should probably keep hunkering down and continue enjoying my time in the demographic not likely to be hospitalized for RSV before I age out of this enviable category, but I called my doctor anyway.

I looked visibly unwell on a Zoom today. despite filters, so that sucks.

DONE teaching and grading and  ONE ZOOM AWAY from peacing out for 6 weeks-- this does not suck, especially because my meeting is for the campus common read committee-- a meeting I actually adore. I was bummed that this committee has remained virtual, but now that I am home with my virus baby, I am super happy.

ALSO! I have been starting to dread my first colonoscopy (scheduled for next month), but the doctor's office called and had to push me back until APRIL. LOVE THIS FOR ME (assuming, you know, I have a healthy colon)

Last night, everyone got a water bottle with a gift card, inside and these gifts were well received. Jack got a Starbs card, and Coop's was for Xbox, so neither of them needed to go anywhere immediately. Harry's was a Visa gift card, and he was happy to just put that in his wallet for later. Dorothy and Minnie though? Got Barnes and Noble gift cards, and they needed to spend them INSTANTLY. I will rethink this for next year because WHAT A PAIN.

(Also: all 3 boys got Gatorade pod bottles in various colors with a pack of pods-- we can never have too many of these bottles in rotation. I got Minnie a super cute straw cup from Target that is hand wash only even though the inside is stainless **whomp whomp** and Dorothy loved her teeny Stanley (20 oz because she only weighs 60 pounds-- she can't even carry 40 ounces of water).)

Was the best part of the B&N trip being nervous because I left Cooper at home with a preheating oven, instructions to throw nuggets and fries in the oven in 15 minutes, and the burning Hanukkah candles? Or was it being anxious because Dorothy was definitely going to be late to dance? Or maybe it was fielding a phone call from the testing center and having to track down a TA who botched some exam deets mid-shop? Or maybe it was when Dorothy lost the sparkle glitter pens she was buying somewhere between getting in line and making it to the check out, so she had to run to the very back of the store to find another pack while I stood there with Minnie and angry people waiting behind me?? HARD TO SAY. I treated myself to a Christmas romance for my trouble, though, so there's that. Also Dorothy loves the TBH books so much that she was already ready for the next one, just 2 Hanukkah night later-- I LOVE THAT and what a well-timed bookstore GC. **pats self on back**

Also!!! Dorothy asked for a book for Christmas-- the graphic novel version of Little Women that she read to death during the panny (seriously-- we had to throw the ripped up old copy away), and I noticed 2 more in the same style and bought them all, if you are looking for some tween girl reads.

Back to normal complaining, but with a horrible retro 90s smoker cough

 I told Minnie she could have treat at the grocery store. She picked a dozen pink roses— 11 to display in her dresser (that holds SO MANY TREASURES right now) and one to pluck the head off of and carry everywhere, natch.

She also got a cookie at Starbucks, but as she pointed out, that was not a treat— SHE WAS JUST HUNGRY FOR THAT PLACE. I mean, yes, that’s legit. Also, our Pick n Save got upgraded (? The produce is still pale winter garbage— I spent $7 on an organic purple cauliflower that was ROTTEN) to a Metro Market and there is just suddenly a Starbucks right at the end of the baking aisle like a little oasis. I usually just get grocery pick up, but my midweek oh-shit runs got cozier for sure.

Tacos last night and buffalo wraps tonight, and the veggies are really already. Because sometimes 2pm is the only time I have to make dinner. ** eye roll** Also, Harry, Minnie, and I had tacos at a normal dinner time, but Jack and Ben didn’t have them until 8pm because Ben went straight to get Jack at his dive practice, and then they both went to Coop’s practice where Jack did his home work— this was a surprisingly great work flow. (Dorothy and Cooper eat packed dinners 4 nights a week **yikes face**)

Night 6! The boys all got page-a-day calendars (ones with swears LOL), and Minnie got dot markers and a notebook. I got Dorothy a planner, washi tape, and fine point markers, and she is is PLANNING HEAVEN. It’s the CUTEST.

Coop has a round robin hockey tourney tonight that is also a fundraiser for his club— I wish I could watch, but I remember the crush of coughing people ate hockey picture night, AKA the last day Minnie was healthy, so she and I are sitting this one out and doing the dance pickup shift instead. Do I want to solo parent every single one of her waking hours? Erm, no. Not really, actually. Even though she is a super fun companion and very helpful. (I mean it— 3 is so darn wonderful).

I am not taking Coop to diving practice tomorrow, and I actually feel bad about it, even though he has gone at least 4 days a week since the season started. There is a basketball game on campus, and I just cannot even deal with driving through that ish AGAIN. Plus, Harry works, so I have to pick up Coop, pick up Jack, take Jack to dive, take Coop to dive, take Dorothy to dance, pick up from dance, either do bedtime by myself or pickup from hockey— the whole circuit. Cutting out the downtown trip is helpful FOR SURE. I am going to try to be better at doing less when I want to— but also I hate driving in crappy weather AND in the dark, so I wanted to maximize fall semester participation before wimping out in the spring semester. 

TL; DR: We are getting an ACTIVITY BREAK, and I can’t wait!!! 

Dorothy has 5 weeks off of dance— with a Saturday rehearsal for her supergroup thrown in— and Coop has a small diving break, although hockey os pretty constant through March— when it is DANCE COMP SEASON.

She asked to play with her stuffies in her crib, and who am I to deny that request?

Hey! Harry decorated his Yeti. IS THIS A SIGN???