Fat Kid in a Little Suit: A Harrytimes Thanksgiving Tradition

 

Fat Kid in a Little Suit

 I originally posted this in 2009, and it's still my favorite Thanksgiving story of all time.  Happy Thanksgiving-- I hope it's the best one yet.

Thanksgiving, circa 1985-ish

My brothers and me-- I was 7; Ben was 3, and Jon was 2.

Shortly after this picture was taken, I pushed past a houseful of guests to be first in line for the Thanksgiving buffet and heaped my plate high with turkey, chopped liver, stuffing, cranberry orange relish, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole-- you get the idea. I marched into the library where the folding kids' table was set up, delighted that I didn't have to waste time talking to my brothers or any guests, plopped both my plate and my fat little self down on the bench, shot my cuffs, picked up my fork, opened my mouth, and raised a heavy, quivering bite of buttered roll and gravy-drenched meat to my eager lips. And then the table collapsed under the weight of me and my leaning tower of flesh and carbs.

Happy Thanksgiving. May you eat like no one's watching.

Hanukkah: WRAPPED AND READY!!!!!

 One think I am absolutely DESTROYING (in a good way) is my HOLIDAY SHOPPING.

I am TOTALLY DONE with Hanukkah. And! It is all wrapped, even! We only (LOL at only) buy presents for seven nights because the kids draw names from a hat and do a sibling gift exchange for the last night. But still! 5 kids and 7 nights of gifts is… a lot of gifts. It’s tricky, too, because I want to keep prices reasonable (WHAT EVEN IS REASONABLE ANYMORE), but, also, I want to avoid just buying JUNK.

(Side note: A couple of years ago, we got fed up with junk in stockings and Easter baskets and started buying fewer, better gifts— I love this for us ultimately, but it makes Hanukkah SO HARD to shop for because we are not doing 8 nights of substantial gifts and then also having Christmas, you know?)

(Another side note: We have twice gone to Disney for Hanukkah, and this is really the ideal solution but not practical yearly)

This year, I decided to give the holiday an overall gifting theme for the 7 nights I am in charge of shopping for. The theme is COZY. This set a really great tone and helped everyone manage their expectations. They are going to be enjoying a week of small cozy gifts— it’s very hygge (without the xenophobic nationalism). Each night has a theme, too, because it is just easier for me to buy the same-ish thing for everyone, but all of the nightly themes are cozy (think: pajama night, hot cocoa party night, etc).

Jack made a Google form for the sibling exchange to track sizes and preferences, and we are really hopeful that we can get the shopping for that done in the next week or so, even though that means the probability of sibs leaking gifts is high.

I also made a spreadsheet with a tab for Hanukkah where I detailed costs as well as the themes for each night and what I ended up buying (because we really do try to keep this holiday in check) and a Christmas tab that’s focused on equal numbers of gifts/kid and allows me to wrap gifts as they arrive/as I buy them because I can note what the gift is, what kind of paper it’s wrapped in, and where I have stashed it. I have even highlighted gifts that need something else to go with them, as a little high five to my future self. This means I have quite a few Christmas gifts wrapped, too. I even have a column for stocking stuffers and a hiding spot where I am tossing them.

BUT I SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN TO SHOP FOR BEN. **yikes face** What to get the guy who has everything and wants nothing? HOW ABOUT A PUPPY? (Kidding. Sort of).

What about you? Making your list and checking it twice? Anyone else do double holidays like us?

My 40-pound cat loves that I wrap my presents with yarn:

Christmas earrings!!

.CHRISTMAS DRESS!!

Huh. I guess I DID have a dream feminist partnership after all. Go fig.

 It’s hard OF COURSE or appreciate how good you have it when you actually have it good, you know?

I have spent literal YEARS complaining on this blog about the slog of motherhood and unfair gendered expectations for parents and women’s second-shift housework, etc etc etc. (I wish I labeled my posts because then I could easily see JUST HOW OFTEN I talk about these these), but it turns out? I HAD NO IDEA that I was living the egalitarian dream.

BEN DID SO MUCH AROUND THE HOUSE when he worked from home, and his flexibility was THE KEY to all of our success, in some ways.

He still does A TON of house/kid/life stuff, but not having him around during the day really illustrates all the things he used to do.

And I am talking about little things like unloading the dishwasher in the morning and filling the kids’ water bottles, switching laundry throughout the day, folding and putting away laundry at least half-time. He also did a bunch of bigger things like picking up prescriptions from the HMO pharmacy, hitting our favorite wine/cheese/coffee store midweek and making sure our produce drawers were stocked fresh, taking Dorothy and Coop to their ortho appointments, doing dance driver duty and the diving practice shuffle two days a week. He was HOME if something came up or if more than one kid needed something in more than one location at the same time. He had time to take my car in for oil changes and tire rotations. I COULD SCHEDULE A COLONOSCOPY AT MY LEISURE.

And! Like a jerk! I have spent the last 17 years of motherhood taking all of this (and more!) for granted.

Sometimes I think about what my life might have looked like if I had devoted more focus to work than to kids, and I will admit to being a little wistful. I’ve never really thought about what my life would look like without the kind of partnership we have created, though. I would have been lucky to scrape together the time to grab some holiday sweater-folding shifts at the Gap, it turns out, when we had 4 kids in 7 years.

(Luckily, we did both have flexibility when we had many little kids, and now we have the infrastructure in place to handle 2 busy parents OK. I don’t want to lose sight of that in all of my complaining— things are totally fine. I have just been kind of a bad partner all of this time, focusing on what I was doing that was hard and forgetting that I had someone by my side doing at least half of the domestic heavy lifting.) 

The other night at hockey pics, I suggested Coop and Minnie get a photo with the mascot (Jack was at high school diving practice; Harry was getting ready for NHS, and we watched Dorothy jump from our slowly moving van at the dance studio (TUCK AND ROLL! WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE) on the way there)

COOP:

MINNIE (running away)

That particular night, Ben drove straight from work to collect Jack at practice (just to make things more complicated, Jack’s team practices with another high school at the other high school right after school. It is SO FUN to add that pick up and drop off to THE BUSIEST TIME OF THE DAY) (we have a carpool, but it is still on me 2-3 times a week), fed himself and Jack (I made the other 4 kids early bird grilled cheese and tomato soup before the chaos began), ran by the house to begin cleaning up the dinner mess the rest of us left behind when we bolted to sort of be on time, grabbed Dorothy a little early from dance team, and met the rest of us at the high school for NHS induction. PHEW! We spent 20 minutes having a glass of wine while packing lunches and finishing the kitchen clean up, and then we hung out with H and J for a few minutes and PASSED OUT. 

AND THAT IS PRETTY TYPICAL FOR US NOW.

 

Case of the Mondays

 I actually have nothing super specific to complain about. Well, I mean, my hormones are a dumpster fire, so there’s that. Thanksgiving is THIS WEEK, and I am far less prepared than usual.

I was kind of annoyed that this dress is too tight, but then I realized it is older and 4 of my kids, so whatevs.

Minnie and I are having so much fun on our afternoons at home, and darned if I don’t LOVE being able to work EVERY SINGLE DAY and also having dedicated home time. Compartmentalization for the win!

But also! I have a speech contest to organize! 100 exams to grade! A HUGE DINNER TO PREP! And almost no childcare all week. LOVE THAT FOR ME. YOU GUYS. ALSO WHY DID I GET MY PERIOD THIS WEEK? PERIMENOPAUSE CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF.

But other than that, things are FINE.

How are you?

Car Stash: What Would You Add? (Also— bonus car conundrum you might be able to help us solve)

 I drive a Honda Odyssey, and I love it. I **might** love the Toyota Sienna more, but I think that’s only because I drove Siennas for 11 years before switching to a Honda. Odysseys are definitely bigger inside, which is huge for us. I also adore the sliding doors of a minivan and all the cabin storage space is ESSENTIAL.

As  you know from my constant complaining here (you’re welcome), I drive A TON after school. From like 3:30-7, we are mainly IN THE CAR. Also! I have a good 40 minutes there and back to work. It’s a lot of car time, is what I am saying. Recently, I got tired of not having snacks (eating in the car is something we only just started doing this school year because it was unavoidable), forgetting my lipstick, realizing I didn’t apply perfume, needing a wipe, etc. Soooooo, I finally went to Target and stocked the car with everything I could possibly need in a pinch.

I have a change of clothes and undies for Minnie, a million bags of Goldfish (plus a box of Cliff bars not pictured), Kleenex, tiny garbage bags, lip balm, hand lotion, a couple of perfume samples, hair ties for me, Dorothy, and Minnie, all kinds of wipes, an emergency pack of waters for the trunk, chargers for every device, board books and magic ink coloring books for Minnie, a New Yorker, a Foreign Affairs, a High Five, and an Elle for the rest of us. I even remembered dryer sheets in case I have terrible static cling.

What else do I need/what do you keep in your car?

(And now the bonus problem! Ben wants to SWITCH CARS. On the plus side, his is an SUV (Toyota Highlander) and better in snow and ice, and I hate snow and ice driving. It has brand new tires, too. It is also a hybrid, so it gets way better city miles than highway miles, and I am a city driver, whereas he drives on the highway. On the con side, I would very much miss the sliding doors; it is not has big as the minivan, and it had a way worse trim package. Can I make it without leather seats, seat warmers, and a moon roof? I DO NOT KNOW. It’s also Very Dirty even though it’s only a year old because Ben has different car standards than I do. WHAT WOULD YOU DO?)

Pic of the week

 On Tuesday, I worked and worked during preschool hours so Minnie and I could spend the afternoon at the children’s museum. She asked to go last week, and she talked about it every single day until Tuesday arrived. She chattered all morning about which exhibits she’d visit first (did she want to play with the cow in the barn before she painted on the window? What about the water room? Did she want to bring her coat to the outdoor playground?), and she told me on the way there (I even picked her up a few minutes early from school so we would have plenty of time to play before we had to be home for Dorothy who is dismissed BEFORE 3 PM because fml) that she at lots of snack at school because she wanted to play first and then eat our picnic.

We found a parking spot right in front of the museum, and as I fed the meter, Minnie said OH I HO EXCITED. I BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS ALL DAY. She held my hand and skipped up the front door of the children’s museum. She tugged and tugged on it, trying so hard to open it, and I let her try for as second before I helped her (otherwise she would FREAK OUT and make me close the door so she could try again by herself), but the door was locked tight. BECAUSE THE MUSEUM IS CLOSED ON TUESDAYS. **head desk**

She was sad for a minute, but she rallied with a promise to come back on Thursday and try again, a trip to the awesome downtown branch of our library, and a picnic on the Capitol lawn where we appreciated that October lent November its bright blue weather for a few days.

On the way back to the car, she waved at her reflection in restaurant windows and said HI MINNIE as she passed by.

Crisis averted!!!

5 on a Friday: The The-theme-this-week-is-clearly-trickle-of-consciousness-so-let’s-keep-that-going Edition

 1. Panic at the kitchen over here because YOU GUYS by the time I write my next Friday post, THANKSGIVING WILL BE OVER. And I have done NOTHING to prep (besides order a bird and buy a tablecloth and some napkins and some fun color-on place mats). WHAT IN THE HECK—this is very not like me. I am sure it will all be fine, but I wonder when will it all be fine, you know?

2. I decided that this year, I want to add to my Christmas decor for the bedrooms. I started accumulating holiday throw pillows from Costco for my room and probably all of the couches, and the other day, I scored the most amazing holiday comforters at Macy’s for $20/each. 5 beds for $100– are you even kidding me??? 

I got these for Ben and me

And these for all 3 boys

3. Minnie is studying pizza shops in her class right now (and it’s so creative and awesome— this week, they made a pizza delivery map and included special landmarks, and it was a delight to hear about), so we had to make it at home. And she really wanted me to send pics to her teacher, so I did even though I am sure her teacher didn’t care, but she’s so darn nice, you’d never know it

That Target brand organic pasta sauce pictured above was surprisingly excellent, and I will get it again. We also used THIS super easy bread machine dough recipe and then made it into 5 little balls and let the kids go to town (Ben and I gorged on sushi later). Minnie used maybe half a bag of cheese (the boys shredded a block of moz from our fave cheese store, and it was so creamy and delightful, but Minnie really enjoys scooping handfuls from a bag, so **shrug**), and this technique turned out to be delicious. The cheese on top formed a crispy mound, and the cheese underneath melted, and it was like a mozzarella stick on crust.

4. Bringing a whole plate of muffins somewhere in your purse is a normal thing that normal people do, right? (Also, they were all to keep Minnie happy at hockey because she only eats the very top, so she goes through them fast).

Also it didn’t work because I forgot her unicorn water bottle and offered her Ice Mountain like she is an animal, and she was piiiiiiiiiiiiissed.

5. Speaking of my purse! It’s not even close to my largest purse, and it holds WAY TOO MUCH. I dumped it out at diving practice the day after hockey, and YOU GUYS. WHY WOULD I CARRY ALL THAT STUFF????