Hello anxiety, my old friend. Whom I hate.

 SO MUCH anxiety. YOU GUYS. I have not felt this anxious about anything since the beginning of the pandemic. I remember going out to lunch with a friend right before everything shut down, and we were both like all caught up on doom science, just like waiting for the rest of the world to catch up with us and feeling so worried. Then, the very next week, the whole world shut down, and we both felt SO MUCH BETTER.

And back then I was pregnant, which is a time of hormonal tranquility for me.

The current combination of a terrible resurgence of COVID, the vaccine not keeping my unvaccinated children safe any more, everything wide open, the school year looming, AND my regular hormones back? FOR GET ABOUT IT.

Acupuncture has been helping me maintain an even keel-- or at least giving the space I need to recognize my anxiety for what it is instead of thinking the whole world is terrible. BUT. YOU GUYS. My lovely friend and acupuncture provider IS MOVING TO COLORADO. WHAT.

I feel... not great about finding a new provider. Lots of providers are not vaccinated/are anti-vaccine (as is my friend, but I know her, and I know how careful she has been this whole time, and she wears a mask, etc). Not all of them are following health care clinic rules re: distancing, masks, waiting in the car, etc. My HMO is not currently offering any complimentary medicine. It's not an awesome time to find a new provider ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE ANXIOUS.

And as a special bonus, I absolutely 100% have seasonal allergies right now. My eyes feel like there are slivers of glass in the corners. My ears are itchy on the inside. I sneeze 10,000 times in a row. But now I have the added fun of thinking I have COVID all the time. I AM SO FUN TO BE AROUND.

But yay birthday party supplies are arriving?

Like, cute cute

 Minnie was SO CUTE this weekend, like cuter than usual.

Happy anniversary to US!

 It has been SIXTEEN YEARS since Ben and I got married on a sweltering Peoria Saturday. We celebrated with a VERY low key evening. The restaurant by our house-- the one place we have been able to go with the double constrain of a PANDEMIC and a BABY-- was way too crowded on the patio. A huge swarm of drunk people was throwing a bucket of gold balls off the balcony into a water hazard. So! We got drinks to go and waited by the tennis courts for our takeout order instead.

Ben got me these lovely earrings because peridot is the gemstone of the 16th anniversary and plus also is Minnie's birth stone

And of course I busted out the old rehearsal dinner dress, even though 2005 style is a lot.

School-- yay?

 I just spent north of $300 signing the kids up for school, and that really stings because I don't even know if I want them to go. I mean, I want them to be physically out of the house for a few hours a day, but also NOT DURING A GLOBAL PANDEMIC during a nasty resurgence. YOU KNOW?

(But: bonus! I had to give permission of COVID testing, so that's awesome).

Also, I feel terrible for this kid who had been planning on having a late summer pool party for his September birthday and now... isn't. I was getting ready out the evite together when I realized that if I received that evite, I would for sure decline.

We are as of right this second having a party for Minnie, but we have only invited vaccinated adults, vaccinated cousins, and a few unvaccinated littler kids. And it is outside. And I ordered everyone Minnie's birthday party masks. AND I STILL FEEL SQUICKY ABOUT IT.

Yesterday while crawling on the sidewalk out front, Minnie's toes got stuck in the hem of her dress, and she fell over and bonked her head. It made a TERRIBLE sound, but she rallied quickly. And THAT is why baby dresses are so short. (This is a toddler dress of Dorothy's that is the perfect color for Minnie but maybe not the perfect length).

She is SO SO SO close to toddling, though

Remember!

 I had coffee with a friend and spied this knitting class in the works, and you guys! I am dropping this here to remember that I want to take this class. Ugly scarves in weird lengths coming soon!

Pool Blahs

 On my to-do list this week: TAKE THE KIDS TO THE POOL. It seems like a simple enough-- and an ejoyable-- task, but a couple of things have been standing in our way:

1. DANCE: Dorothy has dance 4 days a week, and it cuts into that otherwise-unclaimed afternoon downtime

2. NAP: Minnie takes a lengthy afternoon nap, but I can't always leave during it because Ben has stuff to do for work, and if she wakes up, she's SOL.

3. GENERAL ENNUI: All those summer things that seemed so great in late May are starting to get a little...boring? in August. This is something my February (February is the WORST because the weather is terrible, but all the holidays are over, and we are ready to get outside again) will not even be able to believe I am saying.

Look how empty the place is-- apparently I am not the only one with the pool blahs.

July: What I Read

Ok. I am just going to come out and admit it, although it clearly goes without saying. I am obsessed with Louise Penny's Gamache series. I especially love it in audiobook format, and I cannot wait for the next book to come out on 8/24. There are 17 books in this series, and I have consumed 16 of them. If you had told me at the end of Still Life that I would be crying by the end of the last 3 or 4 in the series, I would not have believed you at all. AT ALL.

I am over 100 books for the year, thanks, of course to my lovely Libby app and hours and hours of walking Minnie through the neighborhood.

Just Eat It: How Intuitive Eating Can Help You Get Your Shit Together Around Food by Laura Thomas, PhD: I feel like the title says it all here, and I will do a whole blog post about this idea soon. This book is great, and her British slang is adorable.

The Last House Guest by Megan Miranda: I loved this thriller-- it kept me guessing, and the narrator's voice was excellent. **AUDIO**

What You Wish For By Katherine Center: This was charming, delightful, and perfect for the pool. Dorothy judged it by its cover and snagged it from the walk-in books at the library for me.

Unseen by Karen Slaughter: I cannot lay off Will Trent and Grant County **shrug** **AUDIO**

A Better Man by Louise Penny: I was worried about these characters and so happy to see them reconcile. **AUDIO**

Too Good to Be True by Carola Lovering: This was a delightful thriller, and I did not figure it all the way out until near-ish the end. **2021**

Kingdom of the Blind by Louise Penny: You know I can't get enough of these. **AUDIO**

The Nature of the Beast by Louise Penny: Not my favorite book in the series, but it did an excellent job of moving the larger plot arc in the right direction. **AUDIO**

Imposter Syndrome by Kathy Wang: This one got off to a slow start of me, but once I loved it, I really loved it. **2021**

The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave: I am sure you have heard people talking about how great this book is, and they are right. An ideal summer read. **2021**

Glass Houses by Louise Penny: OH MY GOSH! I read these out of order slightly because that's when my holds came in, so I felt better about the end ing of this one than I otherwise might have. **AUDIO**

All the Devils Are Here by Louise Penny: Ok, I admit parts of this book were a little ham-handed, but ultimately, I loved it so much and cried and cried at the end. **AUDIO**

Who Is Maud Dixon by Alexandra Andrews: This is my favorite book of 2021. It was dark and funny and kept me guessing. I am a sucker, as you know, for unlikable characters. **2021**

A Great Reckoning by Louise Penny: This is my favorite book of the series (I still have 1 to go) and one of my favorite books ever. It won't probably be as good if it's the first Gamache you have read. I feel like these need to be read as a body, and bingeing them has been a real delight. **AUDIO**