Quick snaps

The best thing about hockey yesterday (besides seeing Jack play, obvi) was that Dorothy woke up from a car nap and was all red and cuddly.  The whole game.  So she ate animal crackers, and I ate her face.  Seems reasonable:

 We had a totally great time playing board games with the big boys last night-- I love board games.

 This is how Cooper was sleeping when we popped in before our bedroom to take him for one last quick pee:

 After spending 80 minutes on the elliptical, it was only 6:20, so I read my book for a few more minutes while Jack and Harry did homework and read.  It was so lovely and peaceful.  And then the babies woke up.

Interview With Dorothy

Hockey KILLED our weekend.  We had 4 games yesterday and 2 today.  I had a small mental breakdown because there's a traveling tournament next weekend, a game and then the guys have Bears tickets the next weekend, and then it's CHRISTMAS.  How am I going to finish my work, plan class parties for all the kids, shop for teacher gifts, wrap a mountain of presents, and show the older boys all of my favorite movies like Die Hard and Christmas Vacation?  Gah!



Tonight for the the first night of real Hanukkah, we gave the little kids play-doh and the big kids games.  We played Jack's Guesstures before dinner and Harry;s Trivial Pursuit Family Edition after dinner.  SO FUN.  And, I barely won trivia.  Jack was one pie piece away from victory, but he missed John Hancock, and I pulled Che Guevara out of my ass.  So to speak.



The other night before bed, I interviewed Dorothy about her favorite things.  I think when I think she says a castle is her favorite animal, she is actually saying carousel.  My bad.

10-Day Hanukkah!

I'm an even bigger idiot than usual.  I thought yesterday was the 6th, so we started doing Hanukkah. But yesterday was the 4th. So Hanukkah is a ten-day celebration this year. It's a miracle!  I get so dumb about dates at the end of the semester. Gah. 

Harry and Jack had superhero day at school on Friday, and Dorothy and Cooper got in on the posing action. Harry had a cape with math symbols drawn on the back because he was math man. Duh. 

Opening their faux first night puzzles. Puzzles were a disappoint, BTW. Illiterate Dorothy though she had a box of princess dolls and when she realized it was full of puzzle pieces, she sobbed. 

We went to 2 parties last night, and we played euchre which is my favorite and Ben took a selfie with this sweet little dog. 

We were pretty wretchedly hungover this morning, but a trip to our favorite greasy spoon before our first of 4 hockey games really helped. 

The vein in my forehead is brought to you by family style seating and me not wanting the kids to terrorize the nice man and his sweet college-age son at our table. 

The kids were actually really good I think because they were so hungry and also because we let them get milkshakes 

Dorothy had a lovely time at hockey

Then Ben and Cooper took Jack to a neighboring town to play in a tournament and the other kids and I went to Costco where I got my own membership because Ben shares a membership with my dad so I can never shop alone. I got my own (and put my mom on it) and bought all of the food. And that was pretty much the most exciting thing that happened to me today. But the night is still young. 

Oh Chrismukkah, Oh Chrismukkah, How Lovely Are Your Decorations

Actually, I am not sure how lovely I think all my Chrimukkah knick knacks are.  I really hate knick knacks.  I mean, we have only had sofa tables for a few months, and we have lived in our house for almost 5 years.  (HOLY SHIT?! WE HAVE LIVED IN OUR HOUSE FOR ALMOST 5 YEARS?!) (My archives tell me this is our fifth Christmas-- no WAY).

But, anyway, everyone else seems to love them.

(Also, why the heck didn't we make sure we had at least one fireplace, 9 ft ceilings on both levels and nicer countertops 5 years ago?  I mean, seriously).

We thought we would have to wait until tonight to get a tree, but we didn't have anything to do on Tuesday (no hockey!  a mid-season miracle!) so we ran to the tree farm (the muddy, muddy tree farm) after school and got a couple of adorable firs, one of which Ben chopped down all by himself.

Yes, Dorothy was indeed wearing an Elsa dress.

 Jack was super proud of his tree pick.

 Cooper is actually checking on Ben, who was totally under the tree.  With a saw.

 He finally stopped speaking to us, so we tromped through the mud to the pre-cut tree to find one for the living room-- Jack's choice was completely perfect for downstairs.

 Elsa was getting chilly.

 Cooper loved the entire experience.

 So cute all bundled on top of the car.

 Harry modeled the tree topper he selected.

  Cooper just modeled.

In lieu of an ornament, Dorothy picked out this snow man, and then she tried to hang it on the tree and got SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF

 Beatrix was agitated by the whole thing, especially because we had to move her bed.

 SO MUCH CHRISMUKKAH SPIRIT

 Thanks to my parents and their Ornament of the Year subscription from the Danbury Mint, Ben has a sweet Cubs collection.

 I love the fat little family room tree the very most.

 And then I thought I would let the kids set up the Mickey train that Harry got last year at Disney World before school on Wednesday.  Chaos.

 I have a cute little dreidel shaped candy dish, and since I now have tables for knick knacks, I decided to fill it with candy and put it out.  But the kids were driving us crazy with the constant candy eating.  So I bought a ton of Hershey's Kisses and figured the novelty would wear off.  It did not.  And Dorothy and Cooper stole a bag of kisses and ate them in Cooper;s room.  It kept them quiet for 40 minutes.  During which time I should have checked on them but instead graded student work.

 I do hate all the crap laying around, but I love this collection of 10 years of creepy mall Santa pics.

 It's really cute.

 But this one is maybe a little cuter.

Probably I will delete this.

Before Harry started ADHD meds, shit was kind of hitting the fan at school in terms of behavior problems and friend drama.  So, we got involved with his teacher, the principal, and the school psych to talk about how we could help Harry in a really positive way.  Then we met with his own psychologist who suggested that CBT had been super helpful but we needed to go back to the psych or the pediatrician and think abut meds.

So we did.

And it has been really wonderful.

But that doesn't mean I am happy about it.

We had a follow-up with the team at school today, and they all had glowing reports about Harry which made me so mad, I exploded with vitriol all over the room, and my voice shook I was so pissed off.  It sounded like I was bleating.  I mean FUCK THEM sitting there and telling me how wonderful my kid is now that we've doped him up so he won't be a problem so they can manage him and the other 23 kids in the class.  FUCK THEM.  And I get it, you guys.  ADHD is a real thing and the meds help his brain chemistry and now we can see how goddamn smart he has always been, I GET IT.  But how totally fucked up is our society when SO MANY kids need these meds to function in our totally fucked up school system?  Why fix the system?  Let's pathologize and medicate the children instead and then crowd more of them in the room and take away their recess and restrict their gym access and make them take test after test after test and pathologize them more.  Jesus.

So I just could not take the smugness, the air of "That's all we needed to do," in the room and I said basically the same thing I just said above with a lot less fucks and then Ben made fun of me and said I didn't have  a problem with the meds, I have a problem with society.  And then we said we were going to live off the grid, and everybody laughed.  But not loud enough to cover the fact that I literally said I was disgusted with public education in general and with this school in particular but I have no other options because it's not like another public school is going to be magically better and anyway I have a fucking house right across the street and an albatross of a goddamn condo, so it's not like I am going anywhere.  I can't afford to send 4 kids to the non-parochial private schools in town, and the evangelical ones teach that the world is flat, and I don't have time to homeschool because we both do lots of our work at home and this is my only option.  I said that at least I was pretty confident that he wasn't being mistreated by behavior aids anymore and the school wasn't shattering his self esteem any longer, and the principal looked really sad, but it's the truth you guys.

But, really, my philosophical issues aside, the meds have been great for him.  He has always done well academically, but now he is doing well on steroids.

This week, for instance, he told me he was all done with his math work on Wednesday.  I was impressed because a few months ago, he had to bring his weekly work home and catch up over the weekend because he wasn't focusing in class.  Then he explained that he was done with ALL of the math-- his group's AND the other four groups below his.  On Wednesday. So, in his spare time, he filled a notebook with a complex and intricately illustrated comic about a baby bird who lost and found his parents.  He's like the mouse in the If You Take a Mouse to the Movies book who makes a million Christmas tree ornaments in like 2 minutes.

I mean, we have said to him 3 meals a day, 7 days a week for 9 YEARS to please sit down before he starts eating. Before EVERY MEAL, we had to say, "Harry, please sit down before you take a bite," because he would start eating immediately on his way to his plate.  We haven't said that in 6 weeks.

He is really happy and even more observant.  He's less confrontational, and when he gets angry, he bounces back really fast.  He has unlimited patience with the little kids. His anxiety is gone (he wants to stay home alone, even), and he's basically a joy to be around every minute of the day.

The thing is, he always WAS, and school sucks.

Ben would tell you this is not a totally accurate picture and would point out how much smoother things are going in sports (he almost got kicked out of a soccer league in the fall for screaming at the refs), how wonderful things are with his friends (social development was what really caused us to seek meds in the first place), etc.  But I am stuck on the fact that there's something broken about our world when we take bright, happy kids and medicate them so they can perform in a shitty overcrowded classroom.

Maybe I will move off the grid.  (Ha!  Can you IMAGINE?)

The thing that always makes me feel better when I think about how much I hate school is the image I have created of Harry's teacher when she read our email telling her that he was starting medication.  In my mind she ran down the hall gloating at his previous teachers, screaming Ha ha, you motherfuckers!  I did it!  Harry's on meds!  Take that all you assholes!  Ha!  Pay up!  And she clicked her heels together.

November: What I Read

9  The Man Who Wasn't There: Investigations into the Strange New Science of the Self by Anil Ananthaswamy:  I kind of hate this style of journalism where writers connect a bunch of vignettes about different areas and name it a new kind of meta-science.  I mean, none of the researchers would think of themselves in dialogue with other researchers mentioned in the book, so why should we se them as part of a larger conversation that doesn't really exist?  So confusing.

8.  Two Years, Eight Months, and Twenty-Eight Nights by Salman Rushdie:  Blah.  And blah some more.

7.  Slade House by David Mitchell:  Scary!

6.  A Manual for Cleaning Women by Lucia Berlin:  I didn't love every story in this book, but most of them were fantastic.  How have I never read her before? (She's no longer living, and this book is a new edited collection with an excellent introduction).

5.  Depraved Heart by Patricia Cornwell:  We have talked before about how I am a sucker for Kay Scarpetta

4.  All-of-a-Kind-Family by Sydney Taylor:  I read this with Jack, and I was happy to find that it was just as good as it was when I was a kid.

3.  Our Souls at Night by Kent Haruf:  Another author who is dead and wonderful-- how did I never read him before now?  Such a spare, sad, sweet book.

2.  The Thing About Jellyfish by Ali Benjamin:  You should probably just go ahead and read this.  Wonderful.

1.  The Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard:  I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE MOVIE.

I'm dreaming of naps-- I blame the freezing rain and stack of library books

Ben read yesterday's post and then CRUSHED me by reminding me that his good Monday schedule resumes in the fall, and I have AN ENTIRE SEMESTER OF TERRIBLE to look forward to.  I let out a string of terrible curse words which Dorothy immediately repeated and then hired a babysitter to come on Monday afternoons starting in January which will allow me to drop Jack at the tutor's house and BE FREE for at least an hour before my meeting, which will certainly make my meeting better.

You guys!  My awesome friend Kate wrote and illustrated a children's book, and you should for sure buy it on Amazon because it will help you explain all those damn packages that keep showing up at your house all month long.  I am waiting for my copy to arrive, and not a moment too soon because someone who can read intercepted an American Girl box and a package of NFL jerseys, both clearly labeled with the store of origin which was SO CONFUSING because SANTA brings Dorothy the American Girl doll of the year, and SANTA was the one tasked with delivering NFL jerseys.  SO STRANGE, then,  that we ordered those items FROM A STORE.  JUST LOSE YOUR INNOCENCE ALREADY, KIDS.  (I don't mean that).  (Not totally). (But, I mean, kind of). (But not really-- happy golden days of yore, etc).

Dorothy is such a little Sconnie-- even the freezing park can't get her down.

 Cooper and Jack held up a liquor store right after we took this picture.  Obvi.

 Beatrix thinks this is prime napping weather.

 And Cooper concurs.

I wish I could stay home and nap today, but, alas.  I have to grade and do hours of tedious work on my online class that I author for a career college and then Thursday, I have to do painstaking work on my online class for my real job.  And then grading season begin in earnest.  But soon!  Soon I will have 5 weeks of glorious naps coming my way.