Look out, fellow airline passengers

You guys!  The Griswolds are going on VACATION!

We weren't going to because our children.  There are so many of them.  And the baby will barely be past her 2-month vaccinations when we go.  And, you know, she is a baby.  And so is Cooper.  Plus we have Mr. Questions.  (Jack's pretty chill, though, so we'd totally take him).

But then we figured fuck it.  Chaotic family vacations are the stuff of childhood memories.

Also, I need to get my anxious self on an airplane so that Ben and I can go to Vegas for his 35th birthday, which falls conveniently right around the time Dorothy will be a year old and I can leave her overnight because she won't need my boobs.  And we have big plans to take the little heathens to Europe in a couple of years so Mr. Questions can see the Loch Ness already.  Not to mention Disney World which looms in our future.

Plus, every time I dust the living room, I stare at a small framed picture of the 3 boys holding hands at the ocean's edge.  And you know me, I dust that room at least 3 times a week.
  
So, for my 35th birthday, we are packing up the kids for beach-side a mini-break.  We decided that 3 nights away from our beds and our routine is the absolute most nights we can spend.  After that, the extended bedtimes and the eating all our meals at restaurants with Cooper who is an animal and Dorothy who cannot be put down and hates her car seat with  passion will kill us.

Our requirements were simple:

Direct flight from either our small airport, Milwaukee, or O'Hare  (I hate flying, so one takeoff/landing is a must.  Plus I think the logistics of getting everyone on and off the plane are going to be brutal.)

Plane tickets at $400 or less since we have to buy 6. (FAA says all kids under 2 should be in a car seat, so everyone gets his/her own seat.  I am a nervous flyer, and I read some horrible shit about lap babies and turbulence.)

Less than half a day of travel (On the way there, we'll be on the beach by 1:30, and on the way home, we should be raising the garage door at about the same time.)

No rental car (After schlepping 4 kids on and off the plane and through the airport, the last thing I want to do is take a goddamn shuttle bus to Hertz and pile into a Dodge Caravan.  Plus Harry will shit his pants (metaphorically, I hope) if he gets to ride in a limo from the airport to the resort.) 

5-star resort (With an awesome beach, at least one kiddie pool, a spa, enough restaurants that we can go somewhere else after the kids mortify us at one or two places, and a place for Harry and Jack to buy shark tooth necklaces, which was their favorite part of last year's trip to Hilton Head.)

No leaving the country (The US might have one of the shittiest healthcare systems in the developed world, but it's the healthcare system we know and love-- want to keep my freshly vaccinated baby stateside.)

So, Florida, here we come!

I am pretty excited even though I don't have a beach body yet.  I have lost 20 pounds, but I've got a long way to go.  So far, I weigh less everyday, but we are talking fractions of a pound a day.  I just hope I can wear last year's fat vacation clothes, but even those seem a long way off.

It will be fun, though, to shop for Dorothy.

Speaking of, here's some stuff she's worn on her head lately:

 Reasonably sized pink bow, which was short lived because she pooped through this outfit moments after I put it on.

 This kind of large purple flower that looks tiny

 Compared to this head-sized ivory flower

This chunk of Cooper's granola bar

 This wet spot where Cooper kisses her/ drips snot on her head

 Harry and Jack were tardy this morning to school-- like, officially-- because Dorothy was so hungry.  About 4 minutes before we normally leave, I realized no one had a lunch, and I was stuck under the baby.  Jack has no option to buy because his class eats breakfast, so I asked Harry and Jack to get Jack's lunch/second breakfast ready-- yogurt tube, cereal bar, milk box-- not rocket science.  Then Harry realized he didn't want either hot lunch choice-- meatball sub or spicy chicken patty-- so he decided to pack his lunch too.  About the time I suggested he get the stool from the bathroom and use something long-- he chose a rolling pin-- to knock the Ziploc bags off their shelf, I realized I lost control of the morning. But if all I have to do is rehome the Ziplocs or teach Harry how to bento in order to pass off the dread lunch packing task, then I win!! 

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THIS MUCH SNOT COME OUT OF A BABY?

 This looks dangerous.

 Ah, Mr. Questions.

 She was awake from 5-6:30, and as soon as the big kids woke up, she went back to sleep.

 As soon as I get stuck under the baby, Cooper goes rogue.

 But he is such a good little helper.

LOOOONG day

OMG. Ben worked from 6:30 this morning until 8:15 tonight because he had meetings after class. While that must have sucked for him, OMFG I WAS HOME ALL DAY WITH 4 KIDS.  Well, I had 4 kids from 6:30-8:30, 2 kids until lunch time, 3 kids until late afternoon, and 4 kids from 3:30-bedtime.  So today, bedtime was at 6:15 (Cooper), 6:25 (Jack), and 7:15 (Harry).  Dorothy did not enjoy supervising Cooper and Jack's rowdy bath from the comfort of the Ergo, so she screamed from 6-6:30 and then nursed and burped from 6:30 to 8 when she finally passed out.  I am currently stuck under her.

As soon as we had Dorothy, no screen time before age 2 became Sesame Street whenever the baby needs to eat.

Look-- it's Baby Jack-- er, I mean Dorothy.  She may be a red head, but she looks great in pink.

He holds her all the time.  He comes to me and demands, "This Dot."

Helping me open some mail.

Gah.

She looks like she's going to talk.

Tried to get Jack to hold still for a picture.

Ah, there's one.  But holding still makes Jack sad.

OMG.  Honest Co. diapers!  SO CUTE!

Delivered to my door-- along with wipes-- and they don't have chlorine or petrochemicals.  I am in love.  I ordered bundles for Dorothy and Cooper today after I fell in love with my sample pack.

A friend sent these for Dorothy, but Cooper claimed them.

Bedtime was hell.  Cooper SOAKED the bathroom in the time it took me to grab Jack's pajamas, and getting his slippery little body out of the tub, dry, and into his PJ's enraged Dorothy.

Nobody got bedtime stories because I had to make the noise stop.  But nobody got yelled at today either.  Except me.  Cooper is a screamer; Jack is a flailer; Harry talks back, and Dorothy was 9-pounds of mewling in my face.

But we made it a whole day.  Pizza delivery for dinner.  Too much TV.  Lots of time in the basement playing.  I read a whole book from my nest on the couch.  And Ben's home tomorrow.

Poor Coop

Before she was born, Ben and I were sure we'd call Dorothy Dottie, Dolly, Dot, or Dottie Lou. I was not the biggest fan of Dorothy as a name and just knew I'd call her by a nickname.

But now?  I love her name so much and call her Dorothy, Dorth (kind of unfortunate but funny, as is Dorth Vader, which would be an awesome hybrid Halloween costume), Dorothy Tallulah, or Dorothy T, my favorite.  Dorothy is the best name ever, and I couldn't imagine her as a Violet, a Betty, a Cecelia, a Sally, or a Stella-- the rest of the names on our mutual list.  (On Ben's list?  Blanche.  On my list? Penelope and Georgie). 

Lately, though, between her goopy eye and the enormous amount of boogers in her nose, I have been calling her Snots, short, of course, for Snotty Dottie.

No wonder she looks at me like this:

 

Look at the extra chin!

So bald!  Looking so much like her brothers!

Harry LOVES to hold her.  LOVES it.

Coop in a box.

Ol' snot eye on her way to the pediatrician-- she needed a snack in the car.

How adorable is this Gymboree ensemble?  0-3 mos because she's getting SO BIG!

I took Dorothy and Cooper to the doctor today.  Before Little Gym this morning, I wiped the snot out of Dorothy's eye, and she looked totally normal again.  Cooper's fever was gone, and his nose was drier than it has been in weeks.  He slept horribly again though and was so screamy all morning, so I loaded them both up in the pouring rain and drove around for an hour after swinging through the Dunkin Donuts drive through for decaf so Coop could take a partial nap (doctors office squeezed us in over lunch, ie nap).  I was feeling stupid for bringing 2 healthy kids to the doctor, but then Cooper lost his ever loving mind when our nurse tried to weigh him.  (I was wearing Dorothy in the Ergo, so she ended up weighing herself holding him and then without him-- he's 26 pounds).  She was like oh wow, he must be sick-- he never acts like this.  I though phew! I am not a psycho.

Dorothy weighed 8 pounds, 14 ounces-- almost a pound more than she did last week.  And she's fine, goopy eye, stuffy nose, snot breath and all.

Cooper has his very first ear infection and a new round of antibiotics-- this time a dose large enough to cause diarrhea.  Awesome.  Looking forward to THAT.

Snotty Dot

See, what I do all day is I dress the baby up and take her picture. All day.

No, not really.  These posts are from different days.

Here she is showing her team spirit as we cheered our old college speech team on to a national championship.

My favorite outfit.  The leopard and polka dots!  The flower!  The tiny baby cardi!

This was a cute pink velour number that Ben called sporty.

Oh yeah!  We also went to the zoo.  Cooper LOVES the zoo, the damn monkey.

Oh my gosh!  Another outfit!  She can officially wear Carter's 3-month clothes.

At night, I am on Dorothy duty (duh), and Ben gets everyone else.  Since everyone else reliably sleeps through the night, this is kind of a shit deal for me, in theory.  But since Cooper has been sick non stop since Dorothy was born, Ben is a actually way worse off than I am.  Last night, for example, Cooper was up from 12-2 -- the whole time-- and again at 4.  Ben says he hasn't been this tired since Harry was a baby when Ben used to go to Starbuck's for a venti coffee with 3 shots of espresso on his way to work and pass out at his desk.  Cooper fell asleep while eating lunch today.

Dorothy has been awake all day despite this strenuous workout.

Her left eye is weeping yellow snot (you're welcome), so I get to take her and Cooper (who is leaking from multiple orifices, running a fever, and pulling on his ears) to the doctor together.  During Cooper's nap. YOU GUYS, THAT'S GOING TO BE SO FUN.

Sweet babies

Cooper has NEVER been sick (except, you know, that one time on vacation when he had that disgusting rash and a 103-degree fever), but in the 2 weeks since Dorothy has arrived, he has had a revolting green snot nose (had it when she was in the hospital in fact and when she came home); then he tested positive for strep, and now, he has ANOTHER revolting green snot nose. Yikes.  It's virusy and bacterial around here.

Harry is the BEST big brother-- he LOVES taking care of the baby, and he is solely responsible for tummy time-- he suggests, supervises, and makes it fun.

She's just so damn sweet, but she isn't a fan of the Rock n Play like Cooper was.  Except for a few naps, she is largely a people sleeper. She's lying next to me on the couch right now, though, more than 2 hours past her last feed, so maybe she'll be a crib sleeper soon?  (I wouldn't count on it).

I wish I had taken a picture of this outfit-- it is purple and gray striped with a purple crown on the front.  I love Baby Gap.  Dorothy wore it to the doctor for her 2 week check up.  She weighed in at a whopping 8 pounds, which is one pound, six ounces over her birth weight. She's a great eater!  It was cute to watch our doctor with her-- he is much gentler with her than the boys. I have never seen him apologize to a baby who got kind of fussy during an exam-- he's usually much more matter-of-fact, and he never called the boys sweetie.

Her head also grew 2 centimeters, and my favorite hat is getting a little snug.

Jack taught Cooper how to splash in the bath.  Fan freaking tastic.

More tummy time!

Cooper has turned into a freaking MONSTER since the baby was born and since he's been under the weather.  So if Easter candy makes the whining stop, who am I to say no?

Boiling a vat of pacifiers, so we can use them again when the plague is gone.

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS BOW.  You can't tell in this picture, but the center of it is a bottle cap with a mustache, and the white ribbon has little mustaches on it.

Look at those cheeks!

Jack and Cooper enjoyed a smoothie after Cooper's nap.  Cooper LOVES hanging out with Jack, and when they have the same snack, he seriously geeks out.

Dorothy had a long stretch of awake time.  She hung out like this, while jack and I played "Baby Beluga" over and over on my phone, substituting Dorothy Tallulah and trying to memorize all the lyrics.  Do you think she'll be offended when she grows up and we are still calling her a little white whale on the go?

There are so many M&Ms in his bowl of goldfish crackers.  Whenever Ben sees me bribing him with M&Ms, he says "That horse is a diabetic!" and "I love Buttered Stuff!"  Ahhh, Half Baked.

We played outside for over an hour after school.  I love being able to go outside again-- Jack and Harry are dangerous as hell on their Razor scooters, though.

Baseball.  We would normally play in the back yard, but it never gets sun and is still covered in snow.

Cooper found the last snow mound in the yard and went to work with his shovel.

Ben worked from 6:30 am to 5:30 pm, when he came home for 45 minutes and then left for a condo board meeting.  4 kids is a lot of kids. 

The other night, we talked very seriously about having a 5th because it has been so easy to throw Dorothy into the mix. I mean, we discussed making the toy room into a kid bedroom-- we were for real.  Then, the next morning, acting independently of each other, I gave all of my maternity clothes to a pregnant friend, and Ben scheduled a vasectomy.  Ahhh, clarity.

100 Books: March Update

I read 15 books in March, most of them remarkably good, one of them horrible.  Here's my list:

15.  How I Came to Sparkle Again by Kaya McLaren:  Worst book I have ever read, and I used to be a Sweet Valley Twins fan.  I should have stopped, but it was 3 am, and I was nursing the baby, and I just kept going.

14.  The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas:  Kind of interesting, told from eight different viewpoints, set in Australia.  I liked it a lot right after I finished it, but looking back, it was not my favorite read.

13.  Butter by Anne Panning:  A really lovely, haunting coming-of-age story.  Any other month, it would rank higher on the list, but I read some great stuff this month.  This book was sad, but the narrator stayed with me for weeks, always a good sign.

12.  Bloom by Kelle Hampton:  I like her blog, Enjoying the Small Things, so I liked reading her back story in this book, and the pictures were lovely.  I read it one afternoon shortly before Dorothy was born all in one sitting.

11.  The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz:  I read this for my Go Big Read committee.  It's a fascinating story of Dominican American culture with lots of teenage angst, family mythology, and sex and violence.  The way the book is constructed and the evolution of the narrator's voice is what's so cool, and you can't appreciate the intricacies until after you've read the book, so my appreciation has grown since I finished it.

10.  The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling:  This book was SAD.  And there were lots of characters that took me a few hundred pages to really like. And it was SAD.  But she does a great job of constructing a complete world, natch.

9.  Making Babies by Anne Enright:  Apparently, she's a really famous Irish author.  I snagged her book from a shelf of female memoirs at the library, and I loved it.  She's so, so funny, and her take on childbirth and motherhood was delightful. 

8.  Friends Like Us by Lauren Fox:  This was well written, kind of trashy, and really engaging-- MY FAVORITE COMBO.  A really entertaining read about love, friendship, and betrayal.  Chick lit for sure.

7.  The Hypnotist's Love Story by Lane Moriarty:  Much like the above novel-- a really original plot and fascinating characters.  Read it in a day.

6.  Truth and Beauty by Ann Patchett:  I have never read any of her books, so I started with this memoir about her University of Iowa writers workshop days with Lucy Greely.  I loved it-- such an honest and heartbreaking story, and I love reading about the genteel poverty of graduate school.  This one was especially intriguing because I always wanted to go to the writers workshop there.

5.  Run by Ann Patchett:  Excellent book!  A little trite with the way it handles race and class, but a sad story that unfolds in a really graceful and unusual way.  Excellent dialogue and characters that linger after the book is through.

4.  The Marriage Plot by Jeffery Eugenides:  I read some scathing reviews of this book on Goodreads, but I loved it.  It reminded me of a Donna Tart book in character development and university setting.  I really cared about the characters, so I didn't mind how seriously the story took itself.

3. Touch and Go by Lisa Gardner:  I love her!  When I had insomnia when Harry was a baby, I discovered her books because I had read every possible Patricia Cornwell.  Since then, I have been gobbling up her new releases.  Ben bought this one for me the day it came out, and I stashed it in my hospital bag.  I read it the day after Dorothy was born and left it for my favorite nurse.  A page-turner for sure.

2.  Nobody's Fool by Richard Russo:  A Russo I haven't read??  What a lovely surprise.  He creates the best criminally neglectful but well-meaning dads and crazy moms, and his straight man/ comic foil buddy dialogue is the best ever.

1.  Animal's People by Indra Sinha:  Another committee book, this was breathtaking.  Animal is a narrator who will go down in literary history with Holden Caulfield and Scout Finch.  Based on the Bhopal disaster, this books tells of a village in India decimated by a chemical fire at an American plant and the ensuing anti-American sentiment and protests against US money/aid that ensue.  But it is also the story of Animal's coming-of-age and his unexpected friendships.  Lots of mature language and sex and violence.