Baby feet Friday

Once again at the end of our visit, the pediatrician prescribed Vaseline for Jack's ailment.

On the one hand, awesome, right? Because that means it's nothing serious. On the other hand? Dude, get your crap together and stop dragging your kid to the doctor for NOTHING.

He actually might have psoriasis, but the doctor said it is too soon to tell and he has super fair skin that shows every mark. True enough.

The doc suggested I carry some Vaseline in my bag and rub it on his face whenever I remember. How long until we have a major greasy accident, do you think?

Here he is eating some Veggie Booty on the exam table showing off his hippy hair.




Ahh, baby feet. Is anything cuter?

Stinky

Family myth has it that when I was a toddler, my parents stopped inviting me into their bed in the morning before they brushed their teeth because one day I told them, "You guy's breath stinks."

I always thought that couldn't be true-- little kids aren't judgmental like that.

Then the other day in the car, Harry said, "Mama, I don't like that old smell under your nose." I looked in the rear view mirror; his little face was all scrunched up.

"What are you taking about?" I asked, a little offended.

"That old smell," he insisted. "Below your nose. It's reawwy gross."

"My breath?" I asked.

"Yes!" he said. "You should bush your teeth, okay Mama?"

I thought maybe it was a fluke, ignored him, and chewed more Orbitz. But then today I was dropping him off at school, and he said "You should brush your teeth while I'm gone okay?"

Karma.

How cute are they waiting for Ben to come up the stairs at the end of the day?

Good thing they're so cute because they trash the place by (my) quittin' time.

Hot hot hot

We recycle. You should know that before you put your judgey pants on. We also eat organic dairy and local produce and avoid processed foods as much a possible or at least buy the organic versions of processed snacks that claim to be made with sustainable practices and are probably just as shitty as their mass produced, HFCS-filled counterparts but assuage our guilt more than anything else. We also have energy star appliances and drive pretty darn fuel efficient cars. And Ben has an adorable tomato and herb garden.

But other than that? We are giant carbon guzzling assholes who make ourselves comfortable and gorge ourselves without a second thought to the land we're raping with our daily acts of consumption. We take long showers. Sometimes twice a day. We run the water while we're brushing our teeth. Sometimes we drink bottled water despite the water filter on our faucet. But here's the grossest thing: we keep our house at 72 degrees during the day and 68 degrees at night.

Or we did. Until our stupid AC started to labor at 76 all day and about 70 all night. So we called around and finally found an AC company who wasn't booked solid tending to people with real problems in this heat wave (which? should have been a freaking red flag). They came over yesterday, changed our filter (which was only about half dirty-- meaning it's also half clean), CLOSED some vents in our living room (WTF????) and explained to Jamie why our duct work is totally effed. Then they called Ben and said they'd be back in 2 weeks (!!!!!?????) to clean it out and put more coolant in (also, have we ever considered covering it in the winter, they asked. Hahahahahaha! Silly AC company-- we're wasteful idiots). Then Jamie turned the temp down on the digital thermostat from the sticky 76 it was set at to a heavenly 73. As soon as she typed in "73," the read-out magically changed to that number, and the AC shut down.

So now, I am convinced (convinced! and nothing anybody says can change my mind!) that it is 3 degrees hotter in here than the thermostat says and that the guy screwed with to to make it LOOK like he had done something. Yeah. Ben thinks I'm off my rocker, too.

But it's a moot point because the damn thing ran all night and failed to reach its target temp (which was so low, I am not even going to tell you what it was. I should just buy a freaking Hummer), so it doesn't matter what the temp is-- the fact is, the AC is NOT WORKING UP TO ITS POTENTIAL. I'm sending it to Sylvan Learning Center for help with its math and reading skills.

I've opened the windows for the first time in DAYS because it's getting stale in here. We're going to see if the old machine can cool things down once it reaches 80 in here and if it can't, we're going to have a huge fight and throw things at each other.

Kidding. Another company is coming out tomorrow.

In the meantime, I am taking this guy

to the doctor to see why his cheeks are so red and peeling. I hope it's not psoriasis, but I wouldn't be shocked. Its also spreading to his elbows. And since I mad the appointment, it is also CLEARING UP. Of course.

And he's probably going to take his purse-- can't pry it out of his hands these days. He even wears it as a hat.

And I am kidding about us being assholes. I mean we are, but we have better intentions than this post makes it sound. It's hard with little kids and the tempting array of convenience products and the disgusting amounts of consumables we "need."

Whine whine whine, complain, moan, cute kid pictures

I have been working on my summer class for DAYS. I think I way over did the course reader because when I finally got it all copied and printed and assembled, it's like twice as big as my dissertation. Oops. Did I mention my class is only 4 weeks long? How about the 4 books I ordered to go with the course reader? Yeah, Those students are going to LOVE me. I am finishing up a few activities and handouts today, and then I am turning my attention to fall because the semester always starts out of nowhere and I am totally unprepared and rushed-- but not this year. I am going to squeeze all my heavy-lifting prep work into these next couple weeks, take a week off after the 4th, and have a guilt-free time at BlogHer in late July.

So usually, I love ProQuest Research Library, but yesterday, 2 articles that I have previously downloaded from that subscription service (and filed away for safe keeping in these huge files in our basement which are currently inaccessible unless I dismantle an entire shelving unit, so it's easier to just re-find the damn articles) were not available-- I had to actually go to the real library and photocopy them-- and of course all I had was change but all the machines took a card but the card-dispensing machine didn't take change and the scanner was free but would only do 10 pages at a time and my email was over my quota and not accepting new messages and it was hot and there are many, many flights of stairs at the library. My question is WHY would ProQuest get rid of previously digitzed articles? Does it hate me?

You know I love compartmentalization, right? Well today is a big jumbled mess-- domesticity in the morning, tons of driving around to and from kid-tivities, then a costume change into semi-professional clothes (semi because it's 90 and humid, blech) and meetings followed by office work, then more kid-tivities, and finally my nightly dose of domesticity. Not looking forward. Especially because Harry has this annoying habit of asking, "Mama, how's your day?" once every 90 to 120 seconds, and I don't like t lie to the kid.

Okay. A moment of zen: Harry and my brother Ben patio fishing:

Happy Father's Day!

OMG. Ben has been in San Francisco for meetings this week (well, Thursday and Friday, but it sounds more dramatic if I say this week-- it also sounds cuter to say Fran Franfrisco like Harry does), so I have been alone with the demons (and by alone, I mean, I have had Jamie for several hours both days, and Ben came home yesterday afternoon), and that little sojourn of semi-solo parenting gave me a good dose of perspective.

Because seriously? I am lost without this guy

who totally looked just like that when I met him at Bradley University's SFI in 1995.

It's more than having someone to share the poop and the crumbs and the screams and the post-dinner-pre-to-mid-bath meltdowns with-- it's having that perfect someone.
So, IHO Father's Day, here are some old pictures of us before poop, crumbs, screams, and completely heinous nightly tantrums (from kids, anyway):
In college-- who DIDN'T have a nasty black futon, really? (although Ben also had an old wood-framed couch upholstered in brown faux fur under which he stored a giant plastic box of high calorie sweets. Sophomore 25, here I came.

We're at my parent's house watching via web cam our friends (and Ben's roomies) Doug and Misty getting married in Vegas.

Here we are on our last pre-kid trip anywhere, in Boston for NCA. I was 8 weeks pregnant with Harry, and I brought my first ultrasound photo (procured the day before) with because we couldn't stop looking at it.

Happy Father's Day to a terrific dad and my favorite person in the world.


(Some people have a lucky fishing hat; Ben has a lucky labor hat.)

WAHMING maybe not for me. Also, some rare one-on-one time for Jack- Jack

So, WAHMing? I'm not sure I could be productive that way. Like now, for instance, when I am blogging not prepping my class. (About that? I am prepping 4 classes in the next 10 days because I have less summer childcare than I thought I did, and I am sure regretting those 3 or 4 weeks when I spent hours on the internet, treated myself to lunches and mani/pedis. and went shopping all day. Wait-- no I'm not-- those were some awesome weeks).

The reason I am currently working on my bed like a high schooler studying for a test (that is to say, chewing gum, sprawled out, TV on, wearing headphones)? This stack o' books from which I need to cull readings for my rhetoric of reproductive rights class:


I don't want to drag these to campus until I absolutely have to.

Also teacher/instructor/professor readers? I am putting my whole class up on study blue instead of making a course reader for purchase at a bookstore/ copy shop, and I'll tell you how the students like it. I think it's going to be great-- password protected, so no copyright issues, FREE for students, and I can use their note and flash card tools to hep with key concepts. It's easier to use that D2L (which is what my university uses) and prettier, too.

On a totally unrelated note (boy am I going to teach my students how to craft elegant transitions), Ben had a rare midweek day off, and we both took Jack out for coffee and Little Gym while Harry was at school (yes! preschool in the summer! freaking awesome! wouldn't want him to forget his line-standing, turn-taking, or paste-eating skillz in the lag time between the spring and fall semesters).

So as you can see, Jack is having some hair issues. We've been growing their hair out hippy style for a couple months now, but Jack's penchant for using food as a styling product makes his new 'do kind of a don't. (The real reason for the hair growth? Taking them both to the kiddie salon SUCKED, and I don't want to go back).

He was running-- too cute

Remember that dazed look I was talking about?

Wait for it...

BAM! He's all where the crap am I?

So what do I do? Flip him upside down again, duh.


Okay, to work. Good thing I don't get paid by the hour.

Alone in the Twitterverse

Can I just tell you there is nothing that makes me feel more out-of-sync than Twitter, which is designed to keep me more updated? Maybe I am not interesting or relevant enough for Twitter. Maybe I need to get new schtick or work on my online persona-- I mean can I really bitch about my life on this blog, on facebook, AND on Twitter? Maybe I need to work on complaining about one aspect at a time-- like Twitter for work stuff, this blog for kid stuff, and facebook for me stuff? Hmph.

Hey! My diet! I've been on it for a week, and I have lost 4.5 pounds (as of yesterday). Pretty awesome. Only 17.5 to go, and only 6 pounds away from my pre-Jack weight. 14 months post Jack. Hmph, again.

I am a crabby pice of crab today, so get excited for lots of annoyed tweets. Or maybe status updates, since I only have 14 Twitter followers. Maybe that's why Twitter makes me feel disenfranchised- because my Tweets are the sound of one hand clapping or a tree falling that deserted forest?

Ugh. I must plan my summer class today. Must do it.

And there-- I have combined by worlds again.

Apropos of nothing: isn't Jack cute when he helps with laundry?