I am writing this outside the dance studio while Minnie plays with the big kids and Dorothy has tap class. The weather is perfect-- mid 70's and sunny-- and I have the ideal amount of time to grade some of the 38 remaining research papers in my queue. EXCEPT. I forgot my freaking phone, so I can't authenticate and log into my freaking Canvas. And! I would have my shit together and REMEMBER my PHONE, except! I am suffering from insomnia the likes of which I have not known since Harry was a baby. Or maybe Jack-- there was like a 9-month period when I slept in a recliner because it was the only way I could fall asleep, like if I kind of pretended that I wasn't actually trying to.
(I just searched my archives for insomnia to find the post I linked above, and I have been writing about it on and off for YEARS AND YEARS-- this makes me feel much better since I generally think of myself as a very good sleeper. Thank goodness I have this blog because my memory is not super reliable, apparently. Also there are SEVERAL posts where I complain about postpartum hormones and sleeplessness and also the mini pill and insomnia, so maybe some HRT will do the trick-- cross your fingers that I have a good experience next week at the OB)
I made a list of things I can do tonight besides lay in bed freaking out about how I am never going to be able to sleep again (that is really actually not helpful at all WHO KNEW), and it's pretty solid. The other night, I was awake until nearly 4 am (and then got a spam PHONE CALL WHAT THE WHAT at 5:20 and was up for the day and was too worried about never being able to sleep again to even be able to TAKE A NAP-- like, I just laid on the couch all clenched and worried until my phone alarm went off). I tried Jack's melatonin, but I took it after I was already in bed PANICKING, and I think it will work better BEFORE bed. I also ordered this magnesium powder my brother recommended.
I actually have a gabapentin prescription (for anxiety), but I have never taken it. The internet tells me I can use it as a sleeping pill but also that the side effects generally suck. I see my PCP the week after next and will for sure talk about a sleep aid (that hopefully doesn't cause memory loss and weight gain-- things that will FOR SURE make me anxious).
Bonus-- I read this book the other night between 11 and 4 am, and it was... a nice distraction.
Speaking of nice distractions-- I took a break from research paper grading for the zoo with my favorite sidekick
We had a picnic
Ok, INSOMNIA: what do you do about it?
Ugh, that's the worst. I hope your appt goes well, maybe some HRT will help.
ReplyDeleteYou outfit is categorically adorable, Sarah. You look gorgeous and chic (as always).
ReplyDeleteAlso, insomnia sucks and I hope you're able to get to the bottom of it ASAP. <3
HRT has made a huge difference for my sleep! Hope you get some relief soon
ReplyDeleteOh, this was painful to read! I haven't been sleeping well either- but I still sleep more than you. It's so, so hard to get through the day exhausted like that! I obviously have no great advice for you. But I do know that feeling of sleeping on a recliner (or in my case, the couch). Somehow it's easier if you're not really "trying" to fall asleep. I have some of my best sleeps on the couch while people are milling all around me. i hope you get some relief soon.
ReplyDeleteB6 and melatonin helps me sometimes, sometimes not, it seems random which is frustrating. The only thing that really help HELPS me are THC gummies but I get these aren't for everyone. I have resisted taking any prescription sleep aids because of side effects, but I also worry about "side effects" of long term not being able to sleep
ReplyDeleteUgh. I hear you as a long-time insomnia person as well. Sometimes unisom (otc) takes the edge off for me, but not always. I SO hear you on the whole 'too anxious to take my anxiety meds'. I've had great luck and zero side effects with Buspirone and you can just take it as needed which for some reason makes me more likely to take it? Anxiety is wild. Hope you get some relief soon.
ReplyDeleteI have had wicked insomnia off and on my whole life. I took Imovane for a while - horrible metal taste and pretty bad hangover. I take 600 mg of gabapentin every night for restless legs - don't know if it makes me sleep but no side effects, for what that anecdotal evidence is worth. I use just over the counter stuff (double Benadryl, essentially) every now and then now, and it works pretty well. Still up until four occasionally, though.
ReplyDeleteYou look cute af, stop.
I am in insomnia hell too, with no suggestions. I'm sorry. It SUCKS.
ReplyDeletePerimenopausal here. The HRT has definitely helped me -- as long as I can remember to take it each day! It comes as a weekly patch, too, I think I need to get back to that one, even though it's more expensive... Memory lapses for things like phones and meds are real!
ReplyDeleteAlso in perimenopause... Sleep has been okay. During especially stressful periods (of time) I take magnesium but it gives me crazy, almost lucid dreams, you may wanna be prepared. Also, as needed, Valerian extract, ashwagandha, and, rarely, Melatonin (which makes me groggy the next day. teas: chamomile or warm milk with honey. Vitamin B complex apparently is also used for anxiety. feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteI've had lots of dealings with 'sleep anxiety' as I call it. The best things that have helped is calming and regulating the nervous system. So if I fall into a sleep anxiety cycle, I incorporate lots of meditations (vagus nerve exercises too) into my day, I do a yoga nidra meditation at lunch time (may or may not fall asleep), working with the anxiety (journaling, talking with therapist), and also supplements. Magensium has been mentioned and I take that on regular basis, and will also use melatonin and valerian tincture/extract. If all else fails, and its one of those really anxious nights, I'll take an Ativan (benzo) to calm me so can fall asleep. Once I'm out of the sleep anxiety I don't have to use much of anything other than magnesium and occasionally melatonin. Ativan is always a last resort.
ReplyDeleteI have had terrible insomnia in the past, especially after I tapered off ambien (would NOT recommend taking ambien at all but it was prescribed when I couldn't sleep while on steroids when I was first dx'd with RA). I would take the anxiety meds. It is not good for your body to be dealing with high levels of anxiety! I've been on anxiety meds since around the time I was struggling with insomnia and they make life so much more pleasant. I'm on Lexipro. Will probably never go off of it.
ReplyDeleteI actually don't recall I ever had insomnia, Dr. Sarah Jedd. But I think that it makes sense that you don't set this goals this month since it already takes a lot to deal with insomnia.
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