1. My sleep is MUCH BETTER you guys. But it is still not great, and I have been sleeping at least part of every night on the couch in the living room, which is fine, but feels illegitimate to me. And the night Coop and Ben came home from NC, I knew they were getting in at midnight, and they planned to just come in downstairs and stay there. Ben took a shower and slept on the basement couch. But! I was still awake! Because I am dealing with major sleep anxiety and was worried that they would wake me up! Only I felt bad being awake when they were trying to be so considerate, etc etc. And now I am all nervous about my sleep again and sleeping badly. GAH.
Here's what I am doing every night to trick myself into not noticing I am going to bed, thus bypassing anxiety:
1. Magnesium powder at around 8:30/9
2. Shower at 9-9:30 and take b6 and also progesterone
3. 9:45/10: retire to the couch with sleepy time horchata tea, my book and book light and glasses, my favorite blankie. Doze while we watch West Wing or Hacks
4. 11-ish: Jack and the dog go to bed. I watch Getting On or Etoile and doze some more. In a moment of semi-lucidity, I take some melatonin and go to bed in my room between 12-1.
2. I can't deal with an alarm right now, so I find myself waking up around 6:30 or 7 when Minnie gets up. This sucks because I used to be asleep by 10 and up by 5. Now I am missing a good 90 minutes in the morning, meaning I don't exercise or walk the dog until much later, and I really need that time back. Baby steps, I guess.
3. Annabel and I got dive bombed by a red winged black bird on our walk-- it TOUCHED MY NECK with its gross wings, and hearing it approach was creepy and terrible. I think it would have pecked at me if I had not turned around and run away as fast as I could. Apparently, they are very aggressive when nesting, and if you have to walk by their nests, you should wear a hat to protect your head and MAKE EYE CONTACT. WHAT THE HELL.
4. Hot weather is coming my way. The first few days of June are supposed to be in the NINETIES. I hate that. I'll soon be complaining about our air conditioner and how it cant make my house 66 degrees. (That's something else making me anxious about sleep-- I keep thinking WHY ARE YOU AWAKE NOW WHEN THE SLEEPING WEATHER IS PERFECT)
5. I have SO MUCH WORK to do right now and VERY FEW JUNE WORK DAYS. (I took Shu's advice and color coded my June calendar to see what I am dealing with, and it is only 4 work days and 3 work mornings-- YIKES). Plus I put all of the kids' things on the calendar and almost threw up. Buckle up, I guess, because summer looks wild.
At least I am delighting in rainbow breakfasts at 10 am, especially sweet after a 16-hour fasting window
Yes, red-winged blackbirds are incredibly territorial. Chickadees are super aggressive if you catch them to band them, but sandpipers "faint" and go completely limp and docile.
ReplyDeleteOh Sarah, I'm so glad your sleep is better, but it still doesn't sound GOOD. I hope it continues to improve. xo
ReplyDeleteSleep anxiety is real! I went through a phase, years and years ago, where I had to go to sleep with the lights and TV on- like, to trick myself into thinking I wasn't REALLY going to sleep (but I was). Ugh. Well- it sounds like yours is better, which is something. I wish I had the magic answer to solve this issue for you!
ReplyDeleteAnd... yep. 90s sucks when you can no longer regulate your body temperature. It makes me very angry. We turn the AC down to 68 at night (which is "too cold" for my husband, grr) and I'm still hot. Whatever.
Re: the last post- Congratulations to Coop!!! He is amazing.
Ugh, I feel you sister. I’m sorry that your sleep isn’t golden, and I hate losing those morning hours. I had trouble going to sleep last night (it was too warm and it’s going to be 98 today and I’m angry about it though I haven’t turned the A/C on yet) and now I’m up and deciding if it’s too warm out already to take a walk and it’s not even 8 and if I do my exercise and yoga first it will definitely be too hot and maybe I should skip my walk. All of this could have been avoided if I fell asleep easily last night and got up on time. And yeah, I have Fridays off from work, so this isn’t a REAL problem by any means. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteLong time reader, first time commenter (and fellow academic parent) just as an FYI, I’ve been told by a physician that taking B6 right before bed can keep you up at night. I switched that vitamin to the morning and believe it helped correct my insomnia…but maybe ask your own health care provider
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you're getting a ton of good support re insomnia, but to add to the list: You might consider moving all of your strategies up a bit (ie melatonin at 9:00, magnesium with dinner, shower after dinner or in the morning, etc.) You might also look at the CBT-i program (there's free options on-line that are more self-help style). And everyone hates it, but one of the best first things I always recommend is to turn the screens/TV off a couple hours before bed. There's just too much brain stimulation that happens with screens.
ReplyDeleteFirst time commenting, came over from SHU’s blog a few months back:) had to chime in because I struggle with similar sleep stuff. I recently participated in a water challenge at work. Goal was just to drink the recommended 64 oz of water a day and we held each other accountable, got one of those giant water bottles, etc. it was fun and big surprise: I slept better than ever! Some googling seems to support this hydration helps sleep theory. Sharing in case you want to add to your list of strategies. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteI would also suggest moving some of your bedtime strategies up a bit. I find that I need to take melatonin at least an hour (sometimes two) before going to bed so it has time to kick in.
ReplyDeleteI hate sleep anxiety! I had insomnia for all of 6th grade and I just remember how anxious I was about going to bed every night. It's the worst feeling because sleep should be such a comfort activity! I hope you're able to find some relief soon. <3