I am writing this outside the dance studio while Minnie plays with the big kids and Dorothy has tap class. The weather is perfect-- mid 70's and sunny-- and I have the ideal amount of time to grade some of the 38 remaining research papers in my queue. EXCEPT. I forgot my freaking phone, so I can't authenticate and log into my freaking Canvas. And! I would have my shit together and REMEMBER my PHONE, except! I am suffering from insomnia the likes of which I have not known since Harry was a baby. Or maybe Jack-- there was like a 9-month period when I slept in a recliner because it was the only way I could fall asleep, like if I kind of pretended that I wasn't actually trying to.
(I just searched my archives for insomnia to find the post I linked above, and I have been writing about it on and off for YEARS AND YEARS-- this makes me feel much better since I generally think of myself as a very good sleeper. Thank goodness I have this blog because my memory is not super reliable, apparently. Also there are SEVERAL posts where I complain about postpartum hormones and sleeplessness and also the mini pill and insomnia, so maybe some HRT will do the trick-- cross your fingers that I have a good experience next week at the OB)
I made a list of things I can do tonight besides lay in bed freaking out about how I am never going to be able to sleep again (that is really actually not helpful at all WHO KNEW), and it's pretty solid. The other night, I was awake until nearly 4 am (and then got a spam PHONE CALL WHAT THE WHAT at 5:20 and was up for the day and was too worried about never being able to sleep again to even be able to TAKE A NAP-- like, I just laid on the couch all clenched and worried until my phone alarm went off). I tried Jack's melatonin, but I took it after I was already in bed PANICKING, and I think it will work better BEFORE bed. I also ordered this magnesium powder my brother recommended.
I actually have a gabapentin prescription (for anxiety), but I have never taken it. The internet tells me I can use it as a sleeping pill but also that the side effects generally suck. I see my PCP the week after next and will for sure talk about a sleep aid (that hopefully doesn't cause memory loss and weight gain-- things that will FOR SURE make me anxious).
Bonus-- I read this book the other night between 11 and 4 am, and it was... a nice distraction.
Speaking of nice distractions-- I took a break from research paper grading for the zoo with my favorite sidekick
We had a picnic
Ok, INSOMNIA: what do you do about it?
