5 on a Friday: Complaints, I have a few

 1. My sleep is MUCH BETTER you guys. But it is still not great, and I have been sleeping at least part of every night on the couch in the living room, which is fine, but feels illegitimate to me. And the night Coop and Ben came home from NC, I knew they were getting in at midnight, and they planned to just come in downstairs and stay there. Ben took a shower and slept on the basement couch. But! I was still awake! Because I am dealing with major sleep anxiety and was worried that they would wake me up! Only I felt bad being awake when they were trying to be so considerate, etc etc. And now I am all nervous about my sleep again and sleeping badly. GAH. 

Here's what I am doing every night to trick myself into not noticing I am going to bed, thus bypassing anxiety: 

1. Magnesium powder at around 8:30/9

2. Shower at 9-9:30 and take b6 and also progesterone

3. 9:45/10: retire to the couch with sleepy time horchata tea, my book and book light and glasses, my favorite blankie. Doze while we watch West Wing or Hacks

4. 11-ish: Jack and the dog go to bed. I watch Getting On or Etoile and doze some more. In a moment of semi-lucidity, I take some melatonin and go to bed in my room between 12-1.

2. I can't deal with an alarm right now, so I find myself waking up around 6:30 or 7 when Minnie gets up. This sucks because I used to be asleep by 10 and up by 5. Now I am missing a good 90 minutes in the morning, meaning I don't exercise or walk the dog until much later, and I really need that time back. Baby steps, I guess.

3.  Annabel and I got dive bombed by a red winged black bird on our walk-- it TOUCHED MY NECK with its gross wings, and hearing it approach was creepy and terrible. I think it would have pecked at me if I had not turned around and run away as fast as I could. Apparently, they are very aggressive when nesting, and if you have to walk by their nests, you should wear a hat to protect your head and MAKE EYE CONTACT. WHAT THE HELL.

4. Hot weather is coming my way. The first few days of June are supposed to be in the NINETIES. I hate that. I'll soon be complaining about our air conditioner and how it cant make my house 66 degrees. (That's something else making me anxious about sleep-- I keep thinking WHY ARE YOU AWAKE NOW WHEN THE SLEEPING WEATHER IS PERFECT)

5. I have SO MUCH WORK to do right now and VERY FEW JUNE WORK DAYS. (I took Shu's advice and color coded my June calendar to see what I am dealing with, and it is only 4 work days and 3 work mornings-- YIKES). Plus I put all of the kids' things on the calendar and almost threw up. Buckle up, I guess, because summer looks wild. 

At least I am delighting in rainbow breakfasts at 10 am, especially sweet after a 16-hour fasting window

cooooooop!

 While the rest of the family loafed at the pool, Ben and Cooper flew to Charlotte, NC, for the AAU Red-White-Blue Diving Championships. Technically, Cooper only qualified in 3 meter and platform, but he got a call up in 1 meter (he finished 8th at the qualifier, and only the top 6 make it to nationals, but lucky for him, 2 boys ahead of him couldn't go), so he competed in all 3 events.

He placed 14th in 1-meter, just out of the top 12 medal race.

Then the next day, he came back to place 6th in platform. 6th! At nationals! Competing in the 14/15 age group even though he is a tiny little 13 (dive uses your bday by the end of the calendar year, so the later birth month kids are kind of screwed).

He finished out the meet placing 7th (by.4 points!) in 3 meter.

Ben was an excellent sports dad and made sure to join in on all the team fun (Top Golf, escape rom, dinners out, sand volleyball for the kids, etc)-- I am going to  follow this example at dance nationals next month.

Next for Coop is one more national qualifier (USA Diving Zones) and a chance to compete at the USA Diving Junior National Championships is Mission Viejo in July. CROSS YOUR FINGERS.

(Yes there are at least 4 diving nationals: YMCA Swimming and Diving (our club does not compete on this circuit); AAU National Championships (this is something you can qualify for based on a score at a regular season meet. Cooper is qualified, but his club favors RWB and USA Diving); AAU Red White Blue National Championships (the one he went to, slightly more prestigious because you have to place 6th or better at a qualifying meet), and USA Diving Junior National Championships (this is the top tier event).)

What's really cool about AAU is that their have a national team that even winners make, and that team travels all over the world. Coop would love to make that team someday (USA has one, too, and ditto). 

He competes 9 dives per event, but here are a couple faves from last weekend.

Platform:

3 meter:

poooooooool!

In Madison, country club and pool and tennis club pools open on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, and the girls and I were READY, even though it was a cool 60 degrees all weekend.

Minnie and I shopped for pool bag essentials after preschool on Friday

And we were there when doors opened on Saturday

I sat on my chair fully clothes (long sleeves, even) and read the book that made NGS and J HATE Jodi Picoult. I loved the book, surprise ending and all and remain a Picoult stan.

SO COLD. I cannot overstate that.

We were back for round 2 the next day sans Dorothy who went to a pool across town with a friend. I remained fully clothed and on my chair, and I read another book!

Minnie was WIPED OUT after, and we found out on Tuesday that she actually has strep-- ooooops.

Monday, the bog boys joined us because neither of them was working, and we ate garbage pool dinner (well, they did. I am doing NO SUGAR and anti-inflammatory, so I had a chopped mediterranean salad no cheese, no dressing, add chicken-- so basically lettuce, red onion, green pepper, cucumbers, and black olives with grilled chicken on top).

I also read my third book of the pool season, and this one was EXCELLENT.

IT WAS SO COLD ALL WEEKEND, but that's exactly the way I like it, especially with these freaking hot flashes.

I can't wait for a summer full of days exactly like this one (with about 100% less strep).

 

Thursday Randomosity

 Annabel got a new bed:

YOU BET I bought this dress even though it's a teeny bit big on top. It's a swishy, nightgown-y dream, and I love it.

Dorothy had fancy dance pics-- can't wait to see the edited versions.

She was really feeling her outfit, hair, and make up (I did threaten to not buy the pictures if she put on anymore foundation or orange blush because I am the best mom ever, obvs)

Harry has already set up his room for summer **dead hesk*

He brought home this stolen stuffed raccoon from the 1970s It was stolen in the 1970s, and now the speech team passes it down to a freshman every year. He is supposed to add some flair before he takes in back to school. Neat.

Never forget that make-your-own pizza is an activity AND a dinner.

TAP CLASS. It's so cute.

Tape for the estrogen patch just in case, and a book I liked so much I also bought her other one.

Sometimes you gotta run to Crumbl after school, you know??

Summer: What I am Doing

 I get paid for 2 months in the summer: 1 month to teach an online class and one month to hire staff, prep my TA training, and update my large class. This summer I am also part of a working group that meets regularly, and I am participating in a reflective pedagogy research project that's really fun. 

I have a good plan in place to manage this work, and I have some course revisions in process that I'm really excited about. And! With everyone home and depending on me for meals, entertainment, and taxi services, work time is down right rejuvenating. 

It's the other things I want to make time for: exercise, reading, lunches with friends, working through the dessert book my brother sent for my birthday.

SO.  This summer, I have a few goals:

1. Use my planner every day to sketch out a loose schedule, keep track of appointments, and track my spending.

2. Get dressed every single day-- workout shorts are for exercise and dog walks, NOT LIVING MY LIFE.

3. Exercise and take at least 3 dog walks every day. I am using my weighted vest again, and I have big plans to do some barre classes. I need to get in the habit of stretching and doing some kind of resistance training most days-- I really don't know why I have been so slow to get started on this even though all the menopause experts say I should be doing it. I am really thinking about joining a gym.

4. Eat an anti-inflammatory diet and consider intermittent fasting as I get through the worst (HOPEFULLY) of the menopause symptoms I am dealing with.

5. Go outside my comfort zone in Charleston with Dorothy-- this means saying YES to the sunset cruise with the dance team, going to the beach just the two of us, navigating a new city on my own, finding fun restaurants and shops, etc. (Ben is the literally best you guys. He is road tripping down there with us so I don't have to drive all that way alone. Then he is flying back to Madison and leaving me there with my car and flying back at the end of the week to road trip home with us).

6. Travel (on an airplane??) for our 20th anniversary in August.

One thing I will not be doing? Drinking. We went out for my birthday last weekend, and I had 2 aperol spritzes and slept NOT AT ALL that night., I fell asleep fine, woke up less than an hour later and mostly was awake until after 5 am. IT WAS HORRIBLE. Would 1drink have had the same effect? WHO KNOWS because I am not a moderator.  (I might try a cocktail again after my HRT has fully come on board-- I was definitely less anxious about not sleeping-- I really think the hormones affected my mood right away. Also! The alcohol night! I had almost constant hot flashes even though it was 64 degrees in the house and we had our windows open.)

Summer: What the Kids Are Doing

 I always knew that FOR ME the best way to structure my life was to center being home with my kids. I had a childhood at home with my mom and brothers, long lovely summers hanging out with friends and lounging by the pool-- and I knew that this was how I wanted to raise my own kids. It has been a delight and privilege to be home with them all before they were school-age, to be there when the dismissal bell rings with fresh baked cookies, and to spend our summers home together.

BUT ALSO.

I sort of dread the end of the school year.

Perhaps because I am coming off 2 or 3 weeks where my school is done but the kids still go every day (and this is SO SWEET-- I cannot overstate that), summer seems VERY DAUNTING at the beginning of June. Everyone is out on June 10th **gulp** (except Harry, who came home over the weekend).

Last summer, I taught a class in the morning for 6 weeks, and Minnie went to a camp at her preschool, but this was not fun, if I am being honest. We had to rush swim lessons at night, and the night swim lesson crowd is the quality time parenting crowd. I am a quantity time parent, meaning I am not interested in playing in the water with my kid at the pool. In fact, I bring my kids to the pool to not hang out with them.

So. Ok. This summer:

Harry is managing the pool and hopes to work a ton because he would like to pay out of pocket for a winterim or summer class to pad his GPA and make sure he keeps those academic scholarships without any worries. 

Jack is working at the pool, working a little bit at the swim school he teaches at during the school year, and has a Madison parks golf pass, so he plans to be life guarding and golfing around the clock, with a brief trip to Des Moines, Iowa, to compete in the National Speech and Debate Tournament (this is VERY COOL and we are so proud!). He plans to do the all-city dive league again, meaning dual meets on Friday nights and the all-city tourney in July, plus morning practice.

Cooper will dive on campus every week day, but there is a bit of uncertainty with scheduling right now, so I am unable to hammer out my car pool, which is a teeny bit stressful. He also has swimming and diving team practices at our summer pool for the all-city league every morning. Plus also trips to Charlotte, NC; Cleveland, OH; and maybe hopefully if he qualifies Mission Viejo, CA. He may not be home for the actual all-city meet, but he plans to compete in dual swim and dive meets all summer. I am really excited to see him swim again because he's really good at it. He and Dorothy will be able to get themselves to the pool in the morning for swim and dive practice.

Dorothy is taking, um, 15 hours of dance class every week. She has a strength class, 2 hip hop tech classes, 2 hip hop choreo classes, a tap class, a jazz tech class, a jazz choreo class, 2 ballet classes, a pre-pointe class, a hip hop drills class, a contemporary combos class, a contemporary improv class, and a leaps and turn class. Plus a few private lessons. That seems like too much when I list it all out, actually. Plus swimming and diving in the mornings and competing on both teams all summer. She also bought the most ridiculous string bikini and plans to hang out at the pool when she is not dancing. Her 3 BFFs all belong to different private pools, so the girls imagine a summer of pool hopping when Dorothy is not at the dance studio-- so, um, Friday mornings through about 3pm when it's dive meets time?

Minnie has 10 am swim lessons Monday-Thursday. And! She is doing a preschool hip hop camp for 3 hours one morning in July. THAT IS ALL. We plan to visit lots of parks, splash pads and museums, plus spend lots of time at the pool. I might sign her up for tennis lessons after swim because that's a great way to kill an hour and also very cute.

We are kicking things off with Ben and Coop flying to Charlotte for AAU Red-White-Blue nationals and the rest of us enjoying opening weekend at the poooooooooool. Can't wait!

Do you have a Little Words Project by you? If you do, GO TO THERE-- so fun! (bonus if you can hit up a Sephora with two very expensive little friends).

5 on a Friday: Cheap-ish face products I'm loving right now

 Before I tell you about some face products I adore that are under $40, I want to tell you that I have not had a period in 166 days, and I started progesterone at night and a twice-weekly estrogen patch! YAY! Do not fear, I will keep the TMI and tl;dr coming and let you know how it goes. I am just really hoping for better sleep and less anger/anxiety. My BP, for example, was 120/76, and I was VERY FREAKED OUT because my top number is usually more in the 110-118 range. The provider was like Erm yeah well you seem anxious? And it's normal? (I really liked her up speak, BTW-- very chatty and relaxing).

Ok-- now onto the 5 on a Friday matter at hand. RECENT BEAUTY STEALS

1. The Ordinary UV Filters SPF 45 Serum: This is the most genius product ever. A sunscreen SERUM?! Perrrfect. You can layer it on during your skincare routine or apply as a  one-off. And! You can REAPPLY, so I am getting one for my pool bag. It's also so perfect to put on first thing to walk the dog. Blends right it-- no white residue, can wear under makeup. THIS ONE IS A UNICORN. And! Only $19.99

2. Wake Up Call Eye Patches by Ulta Beauty: THESE ARE SO GOOD! They are $18 for 10 pairs, so not super cheap if you think about buying 3 boxes a month, but I don't seem to need them every day. I like to wash my face and do all of my other potions, etc, and then use these-- they feel great and work fast. Ben likes them, too. These were a random purchase so I would qualify for a free gift, and now I can't go without them.

3. The Ordinary Soothing and Barrier Support Serum for Sensitive Skin and Hydration: I bought this instead of my usual niacinamide serum, and I like it better! It really soothes red skin and make everything feel so smooth. I use it at night with a retinol serum and my awesome night cream and in the morning with a vitamin c serum and my daytime lotions. Only $17

4. Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask: A cult classic for a reason. I wear this to bed every night. $24

5. Tula Gold Glow+ Get It Cooling Brightening Eye Balm: I am late to the party on this one, but it is SO GOOD. I got the champagne colored one because I have been using a Nars stick to just sort of give me some glow, and this balm works well with it. I look like I used to a decade or so ago-- well rested and dewy. Youth in a tube for $38.

Me Ben and Harry in 2009: OH THAT SKIN

Mother's Day Weekend

Dorothy had her last regional dance comp of the reason in downtown Milwaukee. As fate would have it, Coop had a baseball tourney 15 minutes away, so we made it aaaaaall work! First, some pro pics from the event:

Tap company small group

Lyrical club small group:

 Hip hop company super group:

Hip hop trio (a member was out for vacation, so they performed as a duet and did GREAT)

Jazz club large group

Hip hop club large group

Her super group got a call back and got to compete for best in show before awards-- the kids always love this so much. They find out about the call back right after they perform-- strobe lights start flashing, and there's special music-- it's super cute. 

One tiny terrible thing that happened is that I think her dance teacher now thinks I am a weird child abuser because I was grabbing Dorothy's arm to point out someone's ludicrous outfit, and Dorothy did not see what I was trying to point out by hissing in her ear, so I steered her in the right direction and her teacher goes Dorothy you can come sit by me if something's not OK and she totally mistook my vehemence for meanness. I did point out the person, and Dorothy chortled. But I couldn't tell her teacher Oh no it's not what you think-- I am just teaching my kid to body shame people, NBD.

Harry came home to bring another load of stuff and got to come to Sunday's dance and baseball nonsense. (Jack got a pass because he and Harry spent Saturday golfing 18 holes, and he spent Sunday getting lifeguard re-certified ahead of summer-- a bit dramatic because his OG class fell through, and he was really scrambling for options, which is why he had to miss mother's day)

I adored this little photo opp. I thin this is a tangible way that Instagram has made the world better-- all of these adorable little surprise installations everywhere. Let's not count all the ways it's ruined us, k?

On Sunday after dance, we watched a last baseball game and discovered a delightful lunch spot. THEN WE WENT TO THE ZOO! MY FAVE!

Home in time for late afternoon dog walks and a big loud dinner of burgers on the grill and a delicious Whole Foods death by chocolate cake-- it was lovely all around.