Sunday, April 02, 2023

Terrible news about Beatrix

 Ugh, friends.

I write today with really sad news about Beatrix.

She has late-stage lymphoma and has weeks or maybe months left to live.

Just writing that made me cry, and I have been crying all weekend.

She was perfectly healthy at her check up five months ago and weighed 38 pounds, the weight she has been within 2 pounds of her entire adult life. 

2 years ago, she was up to 40 pounds and having some shallow breathing/overheating problems on longer walks. At that time, the vet told us she needed to basically stop walking any distance and could take dog-directed strolls if the weather was nice. I tell you that because she has been extremely sedentary for the last 2 years. She has always been a lazy, sleepy dog, even as a puppy, so we didn’t really notice that she’s been more tired.

At her check up 5 months ago, the vet noted that her teeth were looking kind of rough, so we switched her from the dog food she has been eating her entire life (Blue Buffalo chicken and brown rice) to the senior version of that same food. She seemed to not like that food very much, and she started eating with less gusto. She was still eating, though, still stealing Minnie’s food, still gobbling food under the table at dinner, etc.

Beatrix has always had a hair trigger gag reflex and vomits more than any of us would like. We noticed an uptick in the frequency of her puking in the last few weeks, but we attributed it to the food and bought the regular version instead of the senior version at the grocery store last week, especially after we noticed that she looked a little thinner (which made sense because she was eating less).

Lately, we both noticed her standing stock still and staring into the middle distance with her shoulders kind of hunched— something we both thought was weird. We wondered if maybe something was hurting her, but she wasn’t acting strangely. A few times at night, Harry had to wake her up to taker her out before we all went to bed, and twice recently, I have noticed that the back door is still locked around lunch time, meaning she hadn’t gotten up to go outside yet. But all of these things could be attributed to her age and the general mellowing of an already super mellow dog.

On Thursday, though, she experienced a rectal prolapse while straining to go to the bathroom. Not only was this gross and uncomfortable, it was unexpected since her bowel movements have been unremarkable (but here I am, remarking on them). Ben was at work, and I was working from home with the kids home on spring break, so Harry took her to the vet to find out what was up. He called me just as I was wrapping up the lunch hour and tucking Minnie into bed and asked me to come to the vet, too.

When I got there, the doctor told us that while the rectal prolapse was easy to fix (yuck yuck yuck), he was worried about what might be causing it, and he noticed that the lymph node on the left side of her jaw was larger than a golf ball. He said he suspected that she had lymphoma and that it was really advanced, affecting nodes in her chest and stomach. He noted that she has lost EIGHT POUNDS in the last 5 months, 20% of her body weight!! He said nothing felt abnormal in her rectal exam, so he suspected that enlarged lymph nodes in her stomach were making her feel like she needed to poop when she didn’t. He recommended a fine needle aspirate the following morning to screen for cancer and said we would go from there in terms of staging/oncology/treatment plan, etc.

We took her home, feeling really shell-shocked, and as soon as she got out of Harry’s car, she tried to poop and had another rectal prolapse. Gah. We took her back to the vet, where he SHOWED HARRY HOW TO PUT HER RECTUM BACK INSIDE HER BODY (and, listen, it involves honey) and gave her tranquilizers and pain pills, hoping to get her to relax and allow her stomach to stop cramping, etc. He warned us that rectal prolapse might happen again and told us the only real alternative to helping her retract it (so gross you guys) was a surgery to suture it shut, which would mean she would also need to be on heavy duty stool softeners— something the vet called “a real housekeeping issue” LOL LOL LOL.

The med combo worked like a charm, and she slept for like 14 hours, arriving for her FNA suuuuuuper relaxed.

Things moved pretty quickly from there. Her doctor kept some cells to look at at the office, but he sent the majority of the sample to pathology to review. He said he’d call us if he saw anything but that we’d likely have to wait for pathology, which could take 7-10 days. THE VERY NEXT DAY the vet called to say he strongly suspected lymphoma after viewing her slides, and, less than a half an hour later, the pathology report came in. Lymphoma. Definitely.

This is a really fast-moving cancer in dogs, but there are some treatment options, depending on things like dog’s age and cancer progression.

After the FNA, we could do blood work and x-ray/ultrasound to stage the cancer, but our vet advised us to think about just treating her with prednisone. It is true that chemotherapy can help dogs live longer and more comfortably with lymphoma, but Beatrix’s cancer appears to be really advanced— it is likely already in her stomach, and it might already be in her lungs (she has a pretty bad cough and some sleep apnea that’s worse than usual). He said if she were his dog, he would not get an oncology consult, although he said if she were 2 or 3 years old, this might change his mind. She’ll be 9 next month, though, and prednisone can give her some good days, weeks, maybe even months.

She responded to the steroid within an hour of her first dose yesterday, which the vet said he hoped she’d do. She is hungry again and peppy. She barks at TV animals and dogs walking by. She wants to go for walks. She is able to take normal poops because her stomach feels less full. All good things.

This is, apparently, the heartbreak of prednisone. Docs do not recommend chemo after prednisone because it can mess up identifying the type of lymphoma (t-cell or b-cell as I understand it) that dictates the type of chemo that’s most effective, can mask symptoms of chemo that are undesirable and would necessitate a change in meds and can really hurt the dog if left unchecked, and can just generally interfere with the effectiveness of chemo. So, you can either, our vet said, do chemo or start steroids. The heartbreak comes in when your dog responds super well to prednisone and then you think oh! Maybe she’s not actually that sick and we should try chemo. But then you really can’t.

Anyway.

Beatrix does not have much time left, and we are so sad about it.


She has been our dog of a lifetime since the first day we met her, and it’s terrible to think of life without her.

Her doctor said we would know when the prednisone has stopped working, and Beatrix is too sick to continue, and I am dreading the day. Harry wants a paw-print keepsake, so I am going to work on getting molds taken this week, and we have been advised to spend time with her, love her, pet her, etc.

 It’s really fun to have old Beatrix back, but it’s also such a painful reminder of what we’re going to miss.



34 comments:

  1. I refuse to accept this. I absolutely refuse.

    Oh, I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Let's all hug our pets super hard and remain in denial that anything will ever happen to them. Extra special pets to Beatrix.

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    1. thank you-- it's all just so sad.

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  2. Oh Sarah. I am so sorry. Sending you all love.

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  3. Anonymous3:38 PM

    I’m so sorry about Beatrix. This is awful and heartbreaking. I went through something similar with two of my cats last year. When the time comes, I recommend Journeys Pet Euthanasia (in Madison) if it makes sense for your family. They are woman owned and operated and extremely sympathetic and caring vets. They come to your home so your pet doesn’t have to experience the fear and anxiety of going to the vet for their last visit. They will take care of all the final arrangements as well. They were a real comfort in an extremely sad time.
    But, before that’s even a consideration, I hope you have many more loving days with her.

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    1. thank you so much for this rec. I am going to call today so we are prepared.

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  4. Sarah, I'm so sorry. Beatrix sounds like the sweetest dog and I bet she feels so much love from your family. Saying goodbye to anyone we love is just so, so hard.

    Sending lots of love to you, Beatrix, and the whole family <3

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    1. she really IS the sweetest dog. thank you.

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  5. Anonymous8:57 PM

    I’m so sorry for all of you. Dogs are pretty much pure love, and I wish they lived longer.

    It’s been 5 and a half years since we said goodbye to our beloved family dog, and we all still miss him.

    We did at-home euthanasia because it was what our buddy needed and deserved but omg it is bittersweet and hard.

    Beatrix has a wonderful life with you all, and I’m glad she’s feeling better. ❤️

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    1. They are pure love-- a great description.

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  6. Darci Johnson10:45 PM

    This is just the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever read. My heart aches for you. Thinking of you as you love Beatrix so hard.

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  7. Oh, Sarah! I'm so sorry that Beatrix is so sick. Even though I saw your comment mentioning she was sick, I didn't catch how dire things are. Beatrix got to spend her life surrounded by love and lots of human siblings. I hope you are able to remember all the good things and have lots of good times in the months ahead. Why do our pets have such short lifespans?! 😢

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    1. It's all just so sad. Glad to hear you are hanging in.

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  8. I am so sorry to read this. Crying for you and your family even though I have never even met you or your dog. The love of a pet is so universal. Hugs to you all.

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    1. thank you-- I sobbed reading obituaries on the pet euthanasia in-home service website. SO universal.

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  9. Oh I am so very sorry to hear this. It is so heartbreaking to lose a beloved family pet. She's been part of your family for so long. My heart hearts for all of you!!

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  10. This absolutely breaks my heart. I know one day Maggie will leave us and it just makes me so sad for us. Beatrix had the BEST life and she was and is loved for every second of it. It comforts me when I think about the fact that they're kind of the winners in the situation. And they deserve it. Thinking you all.

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    1. the DO deserve it. thank you

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  11. Sending you love and light during this time. I'm so sorry to hear this. If you want to talk about lymphoma and chemo options, my sister would be happy to talk with you. <3

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  12. I am so, so sorry, Sarah. This is excruciating. My first dog was diagnosed with lymphoma at 10 and it came as a shock to us as well. Nothing prepares you for that!

    Something I found comfort in when my dog Dutch was dying was knowing I was giving him the best possible last days ever. All he wanted was to lay on me so that's what we did. My job was to make sure he felt safe and comfortable and happy, and I can look back on that time knowing he couldn't have had a better caretaker in those last months. <3 You are giving Beatrix the best life and I hope you can have some sort of comfort/peace in these last few weeks/months with Beatrix.

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    1. thank you-- that is such a comfrorting way to look at it.

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  13. Just thinking about you, Sarah. Hoping you are holding up okay. xxoo

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    1. thank you-- just sad and mopey and petting the dog

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  14. I'm so, so sorry. Dogs are the purest souls, and thinking of them in pain is heartbreaking. I'm glad she can be helped and loved for her last days, but I'm so sorry you're at this stage.

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    1. thank you-- it was much tougher than I thought it would be.

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  15. I am so sorry. What an incredibly wonderful dog she is. This is so very sad, Sarah, and I'm thinking of you and your family.

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  16. Oh no, I am SO SORRY to read this! Our sweet dog, Mulder, was diagnosed with Lymphoma last August, after a clean check up in July. It does come fast. We have been fortunate, he had no symptoms other than the swollen lymph nodes. They gave him prednisone along with the chemotherapy, and like you said, not before.

    I'm glad that she is feeling better with Prednisone, and I hope that you have enough time with her to get used to the idea. It is such a shock, so hard. Again, I'm so, so sorry.

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    1. thank you-- it helps to hear from people who understand.

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  17. I just caught up here, and was thinking, no no no no no. This is NOT right. And then I saw this morning's IG story and... oh, Sarah. I am so, so sorry. :(

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    1. thank you-- we miss her so much

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  18. Anonymous10:19 AM

    After seeing on Instagram that Beatrix had passed away, I came here to catch up on her diagnosis and final days.
    As someone who has been a caretaker at the end, I love that that adorable little boy Harry who was so excited about his puppy has matured into the kind of young man who not only takes his Beatrix to the vet but also handles the rectal prolapse. I’ve had to do that for my Mom and it is not for the faint of heart. You’ve raised a small army of good humans who know how blessed they were to have the love of a great dog.

    - Holly

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    1. thanks, Holly. Harry really is the best.

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