Mother's Day

We had the best Mother's Day, despite the pandemic. It was cold (colder than Christmas Day) and rainy, so we did my favorite thing, which is NOTHING all day long. I read TWO BOOKS!!!

This one (and then I listened to the Girl Next Door podcast book club episode about it):

 And also this one:

I made a perfect blueberry coffee cake (double the glaze. Always double the glaze).

 I woke up to this outside my window and COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING.

 Dot Matrix banners!!

 Lovely flowers. (And also a new Ergo, and I cannot even wait to be carrying a tiny snuggly baby in it! Ergos have gotten even better in the last 7 years, and you no longer need an infant insert for 7 pound babies)

 And I gave myself the gift of this GIANT PREGNANCY PILLOW. It is amazing, and I slept all night without waking up even a little.

I hope you also had a lovely, lazy day.

Ugh. My back hurts.

OH MY GOSH MY BACK IS KILLING ME.

I feel like I lost a whole week to back pain.

I don't know if it is sciatic nerve pain from a weirdly positioned baby (possible-- I only feel her in the very front and very low-- I remember feeling the other kids on the sides and higher. Also, I feel her most when I am sitting straight up-- lying on my side not so much) or just plain old muscle pain, but OH MY GOD. I cannot even sleep it hurts so bad (and I hate sleeping on my side anyway, even with a body pillow and without debilitating pain). It's my right lower back area/hip, and it hurts all the way down my leg.

Things that sort of help:
Yoga and other stretches
Icy Hot
Bengay
Heating pad
Ice packs
Gentle massage
Hot showers
Exercise (once I get going)

Things that suck:
Sleeping
Sitting
Looking down while standing up (WHAT THE HELL)
Cow in cat/cow
Standing still
Getting up from a seated position
Getting out of bed

I am not comfortable getting acupuncture or going to the chiropractor right now, even though I know both of those are recommended for either kind of pain, and I really don't want to take meds at all, but I WILL take Tylenol if it gets really, really, really bad. Any other miracle cures you can think of?

Anyway, that's where I have been.

April: What I Read

Goodreads tells me I am slightly ahead of pace to read 100 books by the end of the year, but my library situation is dire, and I am having  hard time concentrating on books. We have curbside pickup, but you have to call-in your requests, and you can only have what's in the building. It's not for people who want brand new stuff. More than that, though, I just cannot concentrate. Good news: I am up to date on both my New Yorkers and my People magazines.

But, still.  I read some good ones this month:

10. The Future is Feminist by Jessica Valenti: Solid meh on this collection

9. Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris: It has been DECADES since I read this, and a friend dropped off a stack of books with this in it-- the boys liked it, too

8. Here's to Us by Ein Hilderbrand: Forgettable but fun to read

7. Z for Zachariah by Robert C. O'Brien: I read this to do a book club with Harry and Jack, and IT IS SO CREEPY

6. Actress by Ann Enright: I really wanted this to be great.

5. Teaching About Race and Racism in the College Classroom: Notes from a White Professor: It's nice to read a book that confirms your own practice, you know?

4. The Matchmaker by Elin Hilderbrand: My favorite one of her books ever.  OMG.

3. American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins: I read it. I loved it. I was persuaded by the author's note. But I am a middle class white lady, and we all know that middle class white ladies are the worst.

2. Apartment by Teddy Wayne: You know how I feel about books by dudes, but this was great!

1. Weather by Jenny Offill: OH WOW.  You should really read this-- it's fantastic.

The grading, whoa/woe the grading

Really what I should be doing is GRADING 107 EXAMS because when I am done with those? I NEED TO GRADE 107 FINAL PAPERS.

That's a lot of grading, my friends.

Speaking of a lot. 

There are a lot of us in this house and not a lot of square feet for us to exist in. At least, it used to feel like more square feet when it was just me and Beatrix home all day. Are we moving? NOT ANY TIME SOON. I am not sure if you've noticed, but we are in the middle of a GLOBAL PANDEMIC, and I feel like it's going to affect the real estate markets.

Ben is working round the clock and sometimes even has to go on TV to talk to people which exacerbates the TINY HOUSE problem for sure.

 Bonus! I have time to cook all of the things from scratch. I made so much spaghetti sauce that we are having chicken parm tonight and make your own pizza tomorrow.

 Lots of dance class via Zoom. This week was bring your dog, so Bea got to make an unexpected appearance in the toy room.  SHE DID NOT LIKE.

 So profesh!

 HOME SCHOOL!

 So much baking.

 I seriously love Skip Bo

 A little pre-dinner Spot It

Dance class hostage, trying to escape

Day one million: same old, same old

When I think about the kids NOT going back to school in the fall, I feel like vomiting everywhere from instant anxiety.  So, that's amazing.  Love it.

How can we do all of the things we are doing now and plus also have a BABY AROUND?!?!?!

Home school is making me crazy because I am pretty sure that Dorothy and Cooper ARE NOT LEARNING as much as they should. And this would not bother me if it was just a temporary thing, but it's THE WAY THINGS WILL BE for awhile, and I just. Gah.

We won't be able to just keep plugging along with district curriculum in the fall. The big decision is do we keep them enrolled and sub in some homeschool stuff too or go rogue and buy our own curriculum, etc?  We will probably do a combo of the two and start the official homeschool stuff this summer.

The thing is, I have always been happy to let school do school, and I have never really encouraged the kids to do academic things at home besides read, and I know this is lazy and terrible, but it has also made me really happy. And now? I have to figure out how to teach children, which is not something IO ever wanted to do or else I would be doing it for my job.

But! So much is wonderful about a BABY!

Dorothy and I went through the most accessible boxes of baby clothes on Saturday.
The greatest hits from all 4 kids:

 I saved most of Dorothy's tiny tiny baby things, but also most of them are covered in poop or puke stains. Lucky little baby 5.

I cannot stop playing Skip Bo-- it is the only game I ever genuinely want to play with the kids. Luckily, Cooper is always up for it.

23 weeks Sunday.  These non-maternity overalls are holding up pretty well.

Dorothy only wears costumes from her dress up bin on the weekends, and I am loving it.

The boys found this picture and recreated it:

And Ben!! Remembered that the 24th is our engagement anniversary (I have never known this date because I am the worst, as I mentioned above) and added lovely flowers to our regular booze, fancy frozen pizza, local ice cream, and gourmet cheese essential pick up.  How sweet!

Pro/Con: the real life edition

Pro: We got a surprise gourmet bread delivery from a friend, and it was delicious!

Pro: Dorothy's dance class had throwback costume day yesterday, which was adorable: (She also wore her tap costume, but I didn't get a pic)

Pro: Beatrix approves of the deck chairs:

Pro: My flour from  Janie's Mill arrived, and I used it to make delectable scones that I frosted with cream cheese glaze instead of the recommended.  DO THIS.

Con: My school is maybe going online in the fall. The kids' school is maybe going online in the fall. And we are SO SICK of e-learning. Also, there will be an infant. OMFG.

Grocery washing and other anxieties

Well, the thing I was really anxious about happened: our Republican legislature is suing the governor over his Safer at Home order, and because there is a 5-2 conservative majority on the WI Supreme Court, they will probably win.

Way to put politics over science and greed over common sense, guys.

Also, I read this article about COVID tests and early releases for moms heading to local maternity wards, and I am suddenly TERRIFIED to have the baby.

Also also, I do thing where I understand that takeout won't kill us (we still haven';t gotten takeout, and to be honest, we probably will not), and I do not have to wash my groceries, but I cannot even help myself. I take anything that can be taken out of outside packaging out, wipe things that can't be unboxed, and wash and prep ALL PRODUCE the day I bring it home.

While this last thing DOES make my normal dinner prep easier, and DOES make us eat more fruits and veggies for snacks (both huge wins!), it also take way too long. Putting away the groceries has become a multi-hour process.  Silver lining: only once a week?

Are you a grocery washer? Even better, are you a recovering grocery washer and how did you stop?

Other things I am worried about:

• Opening too soon means we will have to shelter longer later
• Opening too soon means the kids absolutely cannot g back to school in the fall
• Opening too soon means my university will not open for real in the fall, which means financial ruin
• Not being able to take the baby outside until it's almost 2 and a total weirdo
• Giving birth alone and having something go wrong (normal birth alone sounds A-OK)
• Teaching the kids at home forever and having them be idiots because their teacher is the worst.

I think the reason all of the above scares me is that I cannot control ANY OF IT.

The boys, doing art

 GROCERY WASHING

 The boys and I have a pandemic book club. We are reading Z for Zachariah right now, and up mext is Armada.

You got any pandemic anxieties on your mind?