Jan Brett! At my library!

Not only did we endure a middle school cast party, we also met up with awesome friends to see the amazing children's author Jan Brett at our library (and then we had pizza and hot chocolate a our house, and I only mention the menu because, hilariously, along with gingerbread people, that's basically all I served all weekend to anyone who walked in the door). Also, AS USUAL, I took NO PICTURES of all 6 of our kids together because I am THE WORST.

It was Jan Brett's birthday, and all the ids sang to her, and I almost died from the cute. Also, I love that her birthday is December 1 because Brett is the author I always associate with cozy winter story time.  Here are the kids in front of her bus.  HER TOUR BUS because she is a children's book author and illustrator and also kind of a rockstar, apparently.

 Standing by their letters.

 Jack has to pick a secondary letter because there is no J is Madison Public Library.

 I bought a couple of books before the talk because OF COURSE I DID, and Dorothy and Jack went in to save seats (on the floor in the front row because they are awesome).  Cooper stayed outside with me, and I asked him to take a selfie of him and Hedgie while I waited because he was getting kind of jerky.  Amazingly, he came back with these two pictures for me:

 As more people came and the rows got compressed, Dorothy got rowdier and rowdier.

 And art lesson!

 Dorothy had to come to the mom section on the side of the room.  Just like library story time when she was a preschooler.

 Hedgie!

Cast Party! STOP THE INSANITY!

You guys know I am socially awkward and generally an introvert, right?  Well, last weekend, we had 3 events in a row at our house, and it almost killed me.  But now!  I can close my doors for the rest of the year.  Kidding.  Sort of.  But probably not really.

Harry was in a play at school, and we had the bright idea to host the cast party.  And before you knew it, there were FORTY CHILDREN in our house, eating pizza, drinking soda, singing Hamilton songs, and exchanging gag gifts.  OH EM GEE.

Harry with his break a leg flowers from my parents:

 Harry onstage:

 Harry post-curtain call.  Only there was no curtain because we were in a gym slash lunchroom.  AND IT WAS DARLING.

 Those nervous few minutes before a party starts when you think maybe no is going to come.

 HOLY SH*T BALLS.  The basement was also full of children.  And only 1/10th of them were mine!

Cooper, in the dead center of the action:

 Um.  We ordered too many pizzas.  So this week, if you are thirsty, pour yourself a nice glass of PIZZA.

 Excellent gag gift offering

 I snapped this when I was in the home stretch.  OMFG.

How to get totes ridiculous hair in 7 easy steps

1.  Have PMS because for some reason, you lose your ability to understand or manage time when you have PMS.  It's so awesome.
2.  NEED to wash your hair because it has literally been a week, and even though you made it 8 full days last time without a wash, yesterday, you smelled something pelty, and it was YOU.
3.  Want to make Pioneer Woman's turkey tertrazzini with the very last of the Thanksgiving turkey.  This is not an easy recipe, but it's only hard because there are so goddamn many steps, which you won't remember until there is flouer in all of the places, and you forgot to cook the bacon and wow that spaghetti that's been draining in the sink is still really hot.  Also, you need to want to make this recipe in the morning.  Even better if it's a really busy morning and at least one of your kids freaked out because their snow gear feels funny.
4.  Make sure it snowed last night, so you need to leave earlier than usual to get to work on time.
5.  Take a shower and finally my god finally wash your damn hair but then get caught up in dinner prep and lose track of time (see 1) so that you have to leave with it still a little wet, no blow out, no flat iron, smelling like a garlic mushroom roux.
6.  Leave your long-suffering husband to do the dishes and voice-to-text an email to your students apologizing for your tardiness on the way to campus.
7.  Hold class in the zoology building instead of your usual building so you can smell like roux and lab rats.  This is just  bonus.  It doesn't affect how dumb your hair looks, but it does make you need to wash it again before Hanukkah is over.

Presto.

Lighten up! Who cares that your tree is too big for your living room?

This year, I really wanted a Christmas tree shaped like an eggplant.  This wasn't a conscious decision on my part or anything like that.  I was just drawn to the fat-bottomed trees at the farm, noticed them standing firm in the middle of skinnier, more stately firs.  They all looked so shaggy, so silly, so-- as Kenneth Burke would say-- appreciative of their own foibles.  Like, when we sing the O Christmas Tree song, maybe the unwieldy tree is the one we're supposed to be picturing.  You know?  Anyway, I loved the fat trees the most.

Ben, as always, was right there to humor me, after confirming that the beast we all chose was short enough to the living room.

 

Yes, that sure is a saw.  Also, Cooper is biting Ben.

 THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT FOR HOLIDAY SEASON 2018.  Jack is embodying at least 2 definitions of light at once.  I LOVE IT.

 I also decided to play this song really loud on my phone the whole time Ben and the kids sawed the tree down.  I AM MADE OF WHIMSY, PEOPLE.

 Do you see that tree with legs in front of Dorothy?  That's not a walking tree, you guys.  IT'S BEN!

 Our fatty tree was h e a v y, but don;t worry-- Dorothy was RIGHT THERE to help.

Speaking of traditions, this is the SEVENTH year in a row that Jack has chosen this exact ornament at the gift shop.  And then he comes home and writes the date in it-- SO SWEET

 Another tradition.

When we got home, we planned to out the tree between the couch and the kitchen table-- a YUGE area of dead space in the living room.

You can see this space in the picture below, but it's full of a GIANT table and big ole wood bench.

THE TREE WOULD NOT FIT.

It also wouldn't fit in the huge area of blank space in the picture below.

And then we moved the couch and tried to put it in front of the window.  BUT IT ALSO WOULD NOT FIT THERE.

So finally (after thinking about taking the couch out of the room and also about putting the effing tree on the curb, we moved the bench to the basement moved the entry way table where the bench used to be, and sorry of jammed the tree up against the wall where it almost but doesn't quite eat the couch.

PERFECT-ish!

Then the kids got to town (after Ben strung lights and we all ate another round of Thanksgiving leftovers) decorating.

I love their happy chatter while they exclaim about their favorite ornaments and decide where to put things (and also, Ben rearranged everything after they went to bed, and they REALLY NOTICED.  It is a continual source of amusement for me).

The star!!  Next year, I want this tree-topper so badly so my tree can look exactly like the one on my favorite Christmas dishes.

Jack with his collection of trucks o his bedroom tree.

I don't even like snow globes, but Dorothydoes, and I like what makes her happy.

She's such a nice little accessory.

CHRISTMAS EVERYWHERE

Ben and I noticed the tree was leaning, but we did or best to ignore it.

But then.  The next day.  It almost fell down the damn stairs, and we knew we had to fix it.  We did a few cuss at each other while one person holds up the tree and the other person loosens, repositions, and then tightens the tree stand screws.  But, alas.  We knew that the tree's surprisingly skinny trunk was just not suited to out ginormous tree stand (which we used because the tree is so fat) so we put the whole effing fully lit and decorated tree in our smaller tree stand.  Which, I have to admit, fixed the lean but was just so stupid.  WHO PICKS UP A TOTALLY LIT AND DECORATED TREE?  Me and Ben.  Sap.  Needles.  Cussing.  Using the "c" word as a unit of measurement.  And, of course, laughter.

Winky Santa!  I HAVE SO MISSED HIM!

Santa pics!!

Thanksgiving over there, and Christmas over here.

He finished book 4!

My favorite Dagwood Bumstead Thanksgiving sandwich.

The most wonderful time of the year, indeed!

What We're Eating This Week 49/52

I am sick of food.  Do we really need to eat?  Whyyyyyyy?

I just looked at the calendar after writing that sentence and CRACKED UP because there is NO WAY for us to eat together, like, AT ALL this week.  I thought things might be easier because Harry's play will be done, but I have class Monday and Wednesday, a work thing on Tuesday, a social thing on Thursday, and then Friday is movie night.  So, I guess we DON'T have to eat.  I think I will not mention my 4 late nights to Ben, but wen he asks what's for dinner, I will cackle.

#WIFEOFTHEYEAR

Also, I am really interested in a creamy chicken pasta situation I read about on the back of the Aldi organic chicken stock, so I will keep you posted on that.  And!  I want to make these cookies, and these, and these, and also these.

So, cookies, rotisserie chicken, whatever salad greens are still safe to eat, a huge batch of salsa chicken and taco shells and a bunch of cereals and frozen pancakes for Dorothy and Cooper.  Perfect.

What I Read: November

WILL I MAKE IT TO 200 BOOKS??  And why exactly did I want to?  I mean, I didn't want to, if you remember.  I set myself a very reasonable goal of 100 books, but then Ben harassed me about it on our podcast, and I just kept reading and reading and reading.

Anyway.  November, the best month to curl up with a good book:

13. Cross Her Heart by Sarah Pinborough:  I read a lot of good thrillers this month, and this one did not vault to the top of the list.

12. Body Full of Stars by Molly Caro May:  Oh my goodness.  First of all, May is a beautiful writer.  I want to count this book as poetry it's so lovely.  Second OH MY GOD.  Motherhood is no joke.  Her body-- jeez Louise.

11.  A Well Behaved Woman: A Novel of the Vanderbilts by Therese Anne Fowler:  YES!  This book is riveting but also a surprisingly quick read.

10.  Under My Skin by Lisa Unger:  A gripping little thriller.

9.  I Found You by Lisa Jewell:  A great mystery.  Kept me engaged and reading-- even on the elliptical.

8.  When Katie Met Cassidy by Camille Perri:  I really liked The Assistants, and I also really liked this one-- so fast and light but ultimately really touching.  Go for it!.

7.  Heartland: A Memoir of Working Hard and Being Broke in the Richest Country in the World by Sarah Smarsh:  This is a nice anecdote to Hillbilly Elegy.  Smarsh is a good writer, and the book made me cry near the end.  Check this one out (like, literally).

 6. Then She Was Gone by Lisa Jewell: LOVED this thriller and could not stop reading.

5.  The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender:  Late to the party on this one.  But yes.  Yes.  Yes.

4.  Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty:  This is not my favorite one of her books.  BUT!  Not my favorite book by one of my favorite authors is still pretty darn good, you know?  Read this one, but be warned-- it is a little bit slow.  Also, I will watch the HBO miniseries, if Reese Witherspoon could get on that (although there is no part for her in this book, I do't think.  BUT STILL).

3.  #FashionVictim by Amina Ahktar: YES YES YES YES YES.  You know I love books where the narrator is a psycho.  This is hilarious.

2.  Calypso by David Sedaris:  Yes, I have read most of these in The New Yorker, and you probably have, too.  But!  Reading them all together is even better.  I cried every time (and laughed, too, of course).  This is his best in years.

1.  Vox by Christina Dalcher:  I have a soft spot for the dystopian, you know, and this is terrifying and fast-paced.  I read it in a work out and a lunch hour, and you should too.  At your own pace, of course.

November Gratitude/ Things to Leave in November

November is THE month for gratitude, ad I had it in spades.  I AM EVEN GRATEFUL FOR SPADES.

We're healthy.  Our kids are healthy.  All of our parents an sibling and their partners and kids are healthy.  How could I be anything but abundantly grateful?  We have everything we need and most of the things we want, and we hosted Thanksgiving so there are leftovers.  Still.  So many.  I got my hair cut and colored.  I have read amazing books, including new ones by my favorite authors.  The kids are doing well in school. Sweet little Jack, who was so overwhelmed by 5th grade work in the first couple weeks of school that I sent a goal for myself of having him be self-sufficient at it by the end of the year, can do all of his work by himself without complaint or any help already and it's not even Christmas.  Harry chose a World's Greatest Dog ornament at the Christmas tree farm, because SHE IS.  We went out with wonderful friends and saw movies and made delicious food.  We had movie nights, and I started running again on the elliptical, or at least walking fast enough to beak a sweat.  And I? Am grateful for all of it.

What I am leaving in November:

No doing yoga.

I want to do it!  The problem is, I set myself an everyday goal, and I cannot do it everyday.  The rest of my everyday gets in the way, and then I don't do it and I feel so so so guilty about it.  So I wind up being angry at myself which always makes she angry at others AND ALSO my back and shoulder are starting to hurt again, and I had ZERO shoulder pain when I was doing yoga on the regular, even when I have PMS, which is when my shoulder always always hurts.

Ok.  I want to do yoga.  Now, how in the hell am I going to make that happen?

Well, wouldn't you know, Gretchen Rubin has written a WHOLE BOOK about how to make a habit stick, and in that book, she has 21 strategies for keeping habits.  Here are the ones I want to try:

Strategy of Monitoring:  I will do yoga 3 times a week for 30 minutes per session.  It is hard for me to find 30 minutes in a row-- I have started breaking my cardio into 2 or 3 chunks, but since I only do cardio 5 days a week, I can do yoga on the weekends and then find 30 minutes SOME OTHER TIME one day a week.  I think this is doable.

Strategy of Pairing:  I am only going to burn this amazing pink Himalayan sea salt candle I have when I do yoga.  This will help me WANT to make time.  I truly love this candle, and I just don't burn it because I am cheap and it always sells out.  But!  If it burns all the way down, I will be so proud of myself for doing that much yoga that I won't mind getting a new one. And if Madewell doesn't have any, I can choose from a billion delicious candles at Homegoods (I just discovered their candle selection last weekend and YES).  So special candle= MOAR yoga.

Strategy of the Clean Slate:  I totally biffed yoga in November, but December!  Is a whole new month!

Strategy of Convenience: Putting yoga on the weekend is where I hope to play into this strategy.  And!  I hate the kids waking me up by bursting into the bedroom with Beatrix when I am sound asleep.  I think waking up 30 minutes earlier to make coffee and do some gentle yoga is exactly what my weekends need.  I am also going to look for a couple of videos (so much good yoga on Prime) for bedtime specifically because a lot of night I fall asleep on the couch watching TV, and I might have more TV stamina if I took a slow 30 minutes to unwind with yoga before plopping down on the couch for the night.

Well, there you have it.  I love my life, but  would love it more with yoga on the regular.