Thursday, May 11, 2023

In a funk

 Ugh. I am trying so hard to be super festive (Starbucks this AM! A Target cart full of ingredients to make my birthday Snickers cheesecake with sparkler candles that say 45 because I am a middle aged baby! Hot pink lipstick even though I am just a mom for the next several months!), but I am not feeling this birthday. And! I have just been feeling meh in general. (I worked out for 90 minutes before I started my day— yoga, a walk, cardio on my elliptical and weights and STILL NOT ENOUGH ENDORPHINS).

EVEN THOUGH MINNIE WEARS GARDENING MITTENS, which is darling (I could not find her any “glubs” which is what she requested).

Also she has baby Tevas which I didn’t even know were a thing. I think Tevas are kind of gross when a big old adult foot is strapped inside them— but a really fat little rectangle of a toddler foot? TAKE MY MONEY, STRIDE RITE STORE.

The weather is AMAZING here- between 68-80, sunny, crisp in the mornings. We are all loving it, especially on baseball nights. SPOILER: THEY ARE ALL BASEBALL NIGHTS.

Today I got to watch Harry play tennis for awhile sitting by self in the most perfect early afternoon sun. He was excused from the whole day to play in an invitational tourney. His doubles partner picked him up this morning, and they JUST finished playing a few minutes ago. They won their first match in straight sets, lost their second the same way (I watched the first set, and they were up 5-1 when the wheels just fell off), and lost their third in a 8-10 tie break. Harry played GREAT today, and he’s really proud of himself. I loved the sun and the smell of sunscreen.

I planted a TON of marigolds in the front yard in an homage to my hometown.
Look at the view on my walk this morning!
AND STILL, I am just not actually feeling very happy.


Definitely trying to fake it til I make, though, and Ben ordered a teeny little swing set after another swing set company came out and didn’t want to deal with our hill. It’s really cute, and I think Minnie will love it. Ben thinks the a-frame will make installing it on a hill easy and its small size means it can be on the most level spot in the yard with the slide pointing downhill AND he can still plant his garden, and our peonies are safe. Phew!

I just feel YUCK. Fat. Cranky. Ugly. The whole 9 yards. My summer clothes from last year do not fit this year’s body, and this should just be an invitation to buy new clothes but instead it makes me feel a certain way. You know? Blergh.

Ok— we have fun plans this whole weekend, and I am going to focus on that and try to to whine so much.


  1. I'm sorry for the birthday blues, Sarah. Your post gave me some glimmers: Minnie's hair! YOUR hair! Minnie's fat feet! Minnie in the marigold cart! I hope you go from "meh" to "yay" soon. 💗

  2. Sometimes it's like that. If you can manage it, fake it til you make it is not a bad strategy. Sometimes parking it on my blog helps a little too. My daughter had a bad anxiety blip and is far away, so I just sat with her on Facetime for 45 minutes the other night, and now she's feeling better. Sometimes depression or anxiety comes on like a cold and you have to get as much rest and liquids as you can and wait for it to pass. Or marigolds and adorable fat little toddler feet. I hope you're on the upswing soon.

  3. Oh friend. Sending virtual hugs and wishing you lived up the street and we could grab a cup of something warm and delicious and go for a long walk.
    I feel you so hard on this; funks are tough and exhausting and just all. the. feels.
    I hope you're feeling better soon, but you also have complete permission to wallow, too! It can help. You've been through a lot with lots of sickness, the passing of a beloved family pet, and all the exhaustion that is juggling work, relationships, and kids.
    You do an incredible job and show up for so many people in so many ways and it's 100% natural to feel worn out and sad and tired sometimes.
    Also, I was practically an expert of how to be self-critical of my body, but you are objectively gorgeous, Sarah!
    Wishing you a sunshiney day <3

  4. Aw, Sarah. Funks are AWFUL and I hope that you pull out of this one quickly. I hope that talking about it helps, and that faking it helps, and that cheesecake helps.

  5. I'm so sorry you're in a funk, Sarah. I hope it passes.
    I did just have to tell you something though - Hawaiian Tropic is my favourite sunscreen and I LOVE how it smells!
    I hope you can find some glimmers this weekend, birthday girl!

  6. I feel you - I've been in a funk on and off, mostly driven by how nuts work is. Plus it's been really overcast and rainy here lately. But we got lots of gorgeous sunshine yesterday afternoon and were outside for almost 3 hours straight which is good for everyone! I just packed away a bunch of clothes to sell at a consignment store. I know I won't fit into them again (they are pre-baby). I'd have to give up too much to fit in them again so it was better to get them out of sight.

  7. I hate being in a funk like that, especially since you're doing everything you can to get out of it but it's just not happening. Like others said, sometimes you just gotta give in to the funk and let yourself wallow for a bit. I hope it's gone by now!

  8. I can relate to often feeling a little blue around my birthday, although I am not really dreading birthdays or anything.... I hope you're feeling better now!

  9. I hear you. I've been in a funk for what seems like months. And it just sucks, doesn't it? I hope that since this comment is super-duper late, that you've broken the funk at least partially. It's just no fun. :(