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This is where I like to chill, relax, let loose, just kick it. Sometimes I listen to my mom's iPod. That Christina Aguilera really has something there-- ain't no other man but ME, baby. Think about it, when I'm 20, she'll be... 44. We'll both be in our prime.
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Here I am hanging with the Handsome Baby in the Mirror. Man, that dude is always hanging around. Everywhere I look, there he is. Just between you and me, this crib's only big enough for one handsome baby-- you know what I mean?
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This is where I entertain my guests. You know, we hang out here, watch the mobile, suck on our fingers-- it's a great time. Hey Max, cuz, you, me, the mobile, and our fingers, man. It's on! That's 4 hands and 20 fingers-- tell your parents to get in the car!
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This is my gym. This is where this man of steel has been made. You think my arms look good, you should see my abs. Sometimes I pull on things; sometimes I kick. I do pilates in the afternoon-- strengthening my core muscles, you know. Dad says I'll be sitting up soon, and he keeps saying he's going to tape down my arm so I'll be a lefty because that's the difference between one million and three million dollars. I don't even know what that means. I just want to color. Whatever. Anyways, I do about six reps a day. And with those human growth hormones my mom's been taking and I've been drinking, I'm getting huge.
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This is my game room. Guess what we do in here? That's right! We sleep. We sleep in here most of the time. I recently got a high score on the rattle.
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I don't know how that soccer ball got in here. That's not mine. Soccer's for wussies. I'm an infant, and I could kick this ball down a field.
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Hang on-- I gotta take this.
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I'll just be a second-- it's this chick I've been dating. She wants to be a lot more serious than I do. I'm not ready for that sort of commitment yet.
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Here's me in my library. I read in my spare time. This is one of my favorite books. I've got a few magazines under my mattress. Don't tell my mom.
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You know we've got to check out my fridge. I've been on the road lately, so I just have the necessities. Lots of frozens. Shout out to my man Tito. Where've you been, Tito? I stopped by last week and no one was home.
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This is my ride. I take it around the block every now and then. It's got new rims...Sun roof...It corners like it's on rails.
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So this is my crib. Thanks for coming. I hope you liked it. Feel free to leave your comments. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Now get out! It's nap time.
Love the crib! I think I saw that episode on MTV. Pretty extreme.
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