Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Lately I find myself agreeing with Sarah Palin,

which is totally freaky, right?

But I found myself nodding in agreement when she said that Boehner has been sobbing like a baby in a way that would never work for a female Speaker.

And then there's the cookie thing.

You know, she's been saying that the government needs to stay out of our kitchens and cafeterias and complaining that newly signed child nutrition legislation means we're living in a nanny state where parents can't bring cookies to school. Her characterization of the legislation is totally wrong and stupid, but I am with her on the cookie thing. Sometimes, kids should have cookies. I say this because Ben and jack went to a preschool holiday party for Jack's class, and they brought super cute snowman and santa frosted sugar cookies. That were never served at the party. Ben found them boxed up on the back of the stove and got one for Jack, who was asking if he could eat them and share them with his friends. WTF? And it's not like these people were food purists-- they gave the kids HFCS-laden fruity Cheerios, and they offered HFCS-filled Aunt Jemima syrup for the pancakes and had non-organic blueberries. All things I wouldn't normally feed my kids but also wouldn't shun if brought to a party I was hosting.

Cookies? At a party? Way out of line, I guess.

Here's Jack dressed up for the big day:



Sporting a forbidden mustache

Monday, December 20, 2010

So yeah, something we should have probably talked about sooner

Hi, this is Ben. Sarah's other husband. I've been asked to post a blog so Sarah could blog about what I am going to blog about right now.

Things have been crazy in the house the last few weeks. As Sarah has suggested we have had a stressful few weeks. So, I felt like it was my responsibility to share with all of you what happened.

As many of you know, I loved my job. Loved it. I loved the creativity, innovation, and freedom my job offered. However, as many of you also know, that passion slowly changed as the organization grew and my role changed significantly. So for the past few months (even in the terrible economy) I’ve been looking for other options. Well, the week before Thanksgiving I left my job. I didn’t really have any guaranteed prospects in my rearview mirror, or, you know, in front of me either.

This, of course made for a stressful (to say the least) household. We had a lot of questions and a lot of uncertainty. There was about a week of utter panic (primarily from Sarah) As calm as she may come across (SARCASM), she was a little freaked out that I wasn’t working any longer.

You know that scene in Office Space when he’s sitting on the couch with his next- door neighbor discussing what they’d do with a million dollars? Well I don’t have a million dollars and currently just one wife (thus the two chicks things ain’t happening – right sweetie?) I did have a sense of relief like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. The idea of doing nothing sounded pretty, pretty good.

For the first time since graduating from college I could do whatever I wanted. I’ve never really had that option. I’ve always had to take the best job available because we’ve needed me to work. Now Sarah is a doctor (not like one that heals the ill but a doctor, you know) so my options were open. I really wanted to get away from the stresses of the corporate world – horribly long hours, not family friendly, and just the goal stresses of sales and marketing. So what did I want to do? Did I want to stay at home with the kids? That sounded pretty sweet. I could play Wii (with the kids of course), look at the internet - a lot (with the kids of course), watch Patriot Games, Good Will Hunting, Risky Business, The Karate Kid, or really whatever was on the premium channels (with the kids of course). I could get another job (starting to sound kinda blah (see above). I could even go back to school. So, we decided that I would apply for jobs but we would keep an open mind. I would only take something that made sense for our family, something I’d love to do. If I couldn’t do that by an arbitrary date that we decided (mid 2011) I would stay home next year (did I mention my kids go to school 3 days a week?)

I’ve turned down a bunch of jobs over the last few months because they weren’t necessary the right fit. I’ve been networking and applying for a ton of jobs; I even have an interview scheduled for Thursday. But there was one job that I wanted. I of course didn’t think I would get because, you know, I wanted it. I had an interview last week. I felt like I was a good fit and the interview went well, but I just wasn’t sure. When Sarah asked how things went I was wishy-washy to say the least. I didn’t want to get my hopes up because they were interviewing a bunch of people. It’s a tough economy and there are a lot of people that are over-qualified for positions.

Well, I am happy to report that today I accepted a job that I am terribly excited to start and that is going to be great for our family. I will be a communication instructor at a local community college. A great opportunity for me, I’ve been teaching college students for the past nine years and love it. Now I can do it as my job, job. Also a great opportunity for our family- super-amazing hours, crazy-awesome benefits, winter break, and summer vacation.

So the last five weeks have been a little hectic. But they’ve allowed us to put things into perspective. We’ve realized that we spend money like total ass-bags. So we’ve started to budget a little. We’ve realized that our parents are pretty great, super supportive. We’ve also realized that we are a great team. This was probably one of the most stressful times that Sarah and I could have faced in our marriage. But it wasn’t. In fact, I think we only had one fight (one day the kids were a school and I was kickin’ it at home doing important work like watching Good Will Hunting, Minority Report, and half of Bounty Hunter- which wasn’t as bad as the reviews, Sarah was a little pissed that I did nothing while she was at work - you know didn’t get the trash cans from the street, fold laundry, pick up my lunch from the couch - I did apply for jobs and have a phone interview…I know). We worked together and Sarah was nothing but supportive, totally positive. A great partner.

So ya, that pretty much sums it up and probably explains some of the vagueness of some of Sarah’s recent posts.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Friday, December 17, 2010

Simply Having a Creepy Christmas Time

Just totally grossed out a room full of college students with my sweet pinkeye. In my defense, I have been on antibiotics since Tuesday, so I am pretty sure I am not contagious, and I carried their exams to the room with gloves on and then set up a little exam and blue book buffet in front of the room so they could help themselves. But still. Pinkeye is gross.

Since I had a little free time yesterday while the kids were in school, I made Santa videos for both of them through Portable North Pole (http://www.portablenorthpole.tv/home).

Effing creepy, people.

You can give Santa your child's name, age, hair and eye color, year in school, and toy s/he most wants for the holiday. Then Santa talks right to the kid and checks his list for his/her behavior status. CREEPY. After Santa names the child's most desired toy, he says "Have you been nice enough this year?" giving the child just enough time to titter nervously before he says, "Ho, ho, ho, we'll have to wait and see."

We watched Harry's video first, and Jack kept saying, "Weird. Weird. Too weird." We asked Jack if he wanted to watch his, and he said, "No. Too creepy."

(For the record, I am totally with him. I didn't grow up with Santa, and I think the whole thing is pretty damn weird. It's like the panopticon AND Big Brother with the constant observation and the doublespeak. Creep city. I always thought opening the door for Elijah during Seder was whacked-out and that the Tooth fairy was too intrusively freaky for $1-- Santa really takes the cake. Fatty.)

Harry LOVED it. Santa told him he had to be nice to his bother, and later that night, he shoved Jack with both hands, knocking him backwards into the toy box. Ben told Harry to go sit in time out, and Harry started to refuse. Then he stopped, put his hands on his hips, and said, "Okay, I'll go. But only because we just watched that message."

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Pinkeye. Ew.

I am working from home today because I have a stack of giant final papers to grade, and I can't go to the office. Because I have pinkeye. Really bad pinkeye. Like, had to work for 10 minutes with lots of warm water to open my eyes this morning pinkeye. Really gross pinkeye. All of us have it, actually, but I have it the worst (but only because Harry snot eyes is on the mend. And Jack actually doesn't have it. Yet). I hope I am better tomorrow because I have to give a final at 7:45 am, rheumy eyes or not. Just when I think I couldn't get more glamorous-- BAM! I reach a new level of sophisticated style. I mean what is more chic than magenta eyes that match the waistband of my saggy-ass yoga pants? (A rhetorical question because, really, NOTHING, except maybe the way my matching hot pink bra shows through this clearance-table Old Navy t-shirt I'm also wearing. Ben. A lucky, lucky man).

Speaking of sartorial perfection, we did not get dressed last Sunday, when a blizzard and arctic temps kept us indoors all day. Fighting over train tracks and baking stuff and then dunking that stuff in milk.


Clearly, it was an exhausting day

Harry started writing his name on the condensation on our window panes, which is totally a childhood ritual, and I didn't even nag at him about making fingerprints because I have always loved to write my name on windows and might still do it occasionally. backwards. Because I am awesome.

We braved the cold to go outside and sled on the icy snow. We also uncovered our poor snowman's frozen face and chiseled off and righted our toppled Santa. Then we had another childhood ritual-- cocoa with marshmallows.

Well, Harry did. Jack crossed his fat hands and waited for us to bring him one or more of the foods he is currently eating exclusively: pumpkin pancakes, mango, oranges, oyster crackers, and strawberry yogurt.

I didn't scratch my eyes the whole time I wrote that.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Naughty List

Ben took the kids to a low-budget Santa lunch at the Y last week, the same one we visited last year. He didn't mean to take them, but he was there with them for ballet class and he noticed Santa, so he decided what the hell-- hot dogs and cheetos rock. I don't have any pictures (because it was a spontaneous trip), but when I came home from campus, the kids came bursting out of the laundry room to meet me in the garage and tell me all about it.

Harry screamed exuberantly (because that's how he talks all the damn time) that he! saw! Santa! And told him what he wants for Christmas! Again!

Jack was a little less enthusiastic, saying "Yeah. Santa. Me a little scared." He did manage to scream "Dora's house!" at Santa from across the room.

Jack wants this:

and only this for Christmas.

He walks around the house with the magic wand from their wizard costume, pointing it dramatically in the air and yelling "Dora's house APPEAR," then he waits for the house to show up.

This morning, he woke up at 5 and told us, "Me no sleep all night. Me dream about Santa. Santa here? Dora's house downstairs?"

He's very concerned that Santa is not actually going to bring him any presents. Sometimes we say that Harry and Jack have to be good boys if they want Santa to come (which is so freaking silly because Santa finished his shopping weeks ago), but it was the Dora Christmas episode which featured Swiper squarely on the naughty list for stealing everyone's shit all the time that has Jack really freaked out. Whenever we tell him no or tell him not to do something or yell at him for biting Harry, he gets right up in our faces, moving our heads to look at him if we aren't already and says, "Me naughty list?"

When we grudgingly assure him that he is most likely still on the partially nice list, he's back to the "Dora's house APPEAR" nonsense.

It makes me think of his first Christmas when he was thoroughly confused and sleepy


and last Christmas (when Ben got the truck he always wanted) when he was woken too early by a hyped up Harry and still didn't know what the heck was going on (and was still a bottle drinker, if you can believe it-- he's such a little man this year)

In other words, I cannot wait for Christmas morning because he's going to be so excited! (For 3 minutes. Then he'll probably want whatever toy Harry has opened, and a huge fight will ensue and the tree will probably get tipped over and I'll be so busy breaking it up that I will burn the monkey bread.)

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Little People Nativity: An Update


Good news: I found the holy infant we've been missing. He was under the little cabinet that holds our extra dishes and stemware.

Bad news: He was next to a chunk of unidentifiable protein that was no longer tender or mild.

Bad news: We lost the cute little tray of plastic vegetables that goes in the plastic cart the cute little donkey pulls.

God news: Jack uses that cart as Jesus's stroller.

Good news: Noah is visiting from the Ark just to keep things Old Testament. He brought a ginormous dreidel, and if you think that's big, you should see his gelt.

Bad news: That gelt joke. Sorry.