Snow Day: An Adventure

 To be fair, the adventure started at 5pm the day before the snow day when two things happened at about the same second: 1. School sent an email cancelling Tuesday classes on the basis of weather forecast models alone. 2. Ben had to step out of his car where he was idling on campus for pick up Cooper at diving practice so he could THROW UP. In the street. (When he felt better yesterday afternoon, he brought the scarf he was wearing into the laundry room to wash, carrying it in a plastic bag because he used it to wipe his face. HE WAS SO SICK).

Soooooo. 

We planned on him being at work during our snow day with an overnight bag packed in case he couldn’t make it home and had to stay in a hotel. Instead, he was sequestered in our room doing unspeakable things to the bathroom.

**Yikes face**

I slept on the couch, and Minnie bellowed IT’S WAKED UP TIME at 6:24, the second her ok-to-wake clock turns green. She joined me, and we watch TV and the snow fall on her swing set in the back yard.

I went to the co-op for coffee last week and left with $100-worth of odds and end that fit in one single grocery bag— something the cashier marveled at for its efficiency but I was like dud e that’s not cute at all; inflation is the worst—and one of those things was buttermilk in a huge bottle that’s in date for WEEKS. All this is to say, we started our day with brown sugar buttermilk pancakes, customized to order:

Except for Harry, who just wanted cookie dough in Jack’s mini waffle maker.

Everyone cheerfully trashed the kitchen like it was NBD

Every counter was demolished, plus some of them ate at the table **eye roll** I was kind of grumbly, but they took Minnie downstairs to play, and I cleaned it up and made my own pancakes **chef’s kiss**

Minnie spent a little time drawing. You can see she always makes her tomato people look worried. Also— the scribbles are the letter “M,” and you can see a coupe of randomly placed attempts at “i”s as well.

We did that whole stereotypical thing where you spend forever getting ready to go sledding and then stay out for mere minutes. I think we went too early— we had really pointy snow and high winds early in the day, but the afternoon was still with the biggest snowflakes you can imagine. I tried to rally the troops to make a snowman, but everyone was over it by then.

We had from-scratch pizza for lunch— a meal and an activity! (I remembered to start the bread machine for dough before we left the house).

The afternoon was lovely and lazy. Harry and some friends went sledding (and a friend went into a newly frozen retention pond on purpose (??) so they all came home to get dry clothes and hang out in Harry’s room while chaos raged.) Dorothy talked to a dance friend on FaceTime for quite awhile. Jack and Minnie watched a bunch of Star Wars (Minnie loves all of the movies) with plenty of light saber fight breaks, and Cooper played Fortnite with hockey friends. Harry was mad briefly because we wouldn’t let him drive to pick up a friend who lives in an adjacent neighborhood, but we pointed out that his other neighborhood friends could not drive either, and neither could the kid he wanted to pick up. Eventually, his friend just walked over. I love that Harry had the confidence to think he could drive in a storm and that we would let him. Then he asked me to help him with the zipper on his jacket. LOL for days. That’s a 17 year-old in a nutshell.

Ben felt well enough to clean the bathroom, air out the bedroom, take a shower, and sit on the couch with Minnie while she played, so I went out to shovel. Jack did the first round, and Cooper and Harry did another, but it had been quite some time in between, so I spent 2 hours listening to a book and clearing the driveway and sidewalk. It was so nice to be outside, be active, and be alone. Ben joined the boys for round 3 with the snowblower after the snow finally stopped at 8pm, and he and Harry have big plans to do an early sweep before Ben leaves for work today. (Harry also went out the night before the storm while Ben was occupied being sick to get gas for the snowblower— he’s such a helper).

I LOVE SNOW DAYS so much.

We’re back to the grind today, and I hate driving on snow. Minnie’s class has been studying hibernation as part of the “cozy home” unit, and I joked with her teacher that we were going to operationalize those lessons. She was like see you in the spring, and I wish I could really just hunker down until it’s warm and green again.

Also! Cozy home! The sensory table has laundry stuff, and there’s a toddler bed with lots of babies in it, and the loft has a hot cocoa bar. It’s adorable and also low-key subversive. Even a couple kids ago, the preschool units were much more stereotypically boy-centered. BUT COZY IS FOR EVERYONE, and all kids should learn how to cultivate a cozy home. Laundry is a  sensory delight, after all. Love it so much. (We actually put several preschool units into practice— pizza, cozy home, teddy bear picnic, etc— yesterday. Minnie has been set up to ace sow days).

Bad shopping, mild stomach bug, lots of hockey: a weekend

 Minnie went to preschool for the first time since NOVEMBER on Wednesday, January 3. She was throwing up by early morning on Saturday, January 6.

(She threw up in my hair. TWICE.)

Let’s see… what else? I am a bad internet shopper. I tried to buy Dorothy a dance bag on Friday, but the company’s website was down. I tried SEVERAL TIMES though because the error message was vague. I found a similar bag at a local store, and Ben bought it (LAST OINE!! NO RETURNS!!) on Saturday on his way to hockey. I thought all was fine.

But then! Last night! We got a charge from the OG company. Just one. SO FAR. I have a message an email, and a voicemail in to their customer service and plan to call the bank or set thing. (No conformation email, no order showing up on my account on the website, etc— nothing to indicate anywhere that I actually ordered a bag, just the charge). I would hate it if all several of my attempts go through and I have to be like oh sorry kids, I am not scheduling our spring break trip until I sell some dance bags on FB marketplace. Kidding. Sort of.

On Saturday, I stayed home with our puker who was confined, like Beatrix used to be, to only wipeable surfaces— NO CARPET, no cloth upholstery. Harry and Jack had a mock speech tournament at their school and then volunteer shifts in the hockey concession stand. Ben, Coop, and Dorothy went to 2 hockey games at 2 different venues.

Minnie thought it would be fun to search the house for all of our Little Golden books and then read them all, and it WAS!!

So cozy!!

She said I remind her of Peter Rabbit’s mom

SO MANY BOOKS

I even got to read a teeny bit of mine

She stopped throwing up before lunch time and felt mostly better by afternoon, as you can tell by the mess. A roll of paper towels bought me at least 30 pages of quiet reading time. And then a few more pages while she picked it all up

No fever. I feel ok so far… **shrug**

I joined Ben and Dorothy for Sunday’s early morning hockey game, and so did Minnie

Then she and I came home to hang out with Jack and Harry, make monster cookies, and clean a little while Ben, Dorothy and Cooper picked up groceries and soldiered on to Coop’s 4th game of the weekend (his team won 3/4, and Cooper scored in every game— so fun to watch him play).

I also freaking forgot all about writing for 24 minutes a day, so I wrote for 4 on Sunday (you can either do 24 or 2-4 for the challenge, so I figured adding 2-minute spurts for any day I miss during the week at the end of the week will satisfy my need to not break the chain). BUT, I think figuring out how to honor myself as a writer is what this challenge is about for me, and I am going to really work on this. I could have written instead of baking, and that’s on me, not my family for needing me, which is the story I usually tell myself.

A few randoms:

Harry at his team’s mock speech meet, as shot by jack, who says Harry’s oratory is so good it is going to win state and that is how you little-brother **heart eyes**

I am ready for valentine colors

I really wanted to go to hockey to use my new blanket! I can’t deal with blanket textures getting dirty or being in dirty places, but this is parka-like and PERFECT!!

She was so happy unless she was puking, when she jumped around in a circle like a little oscillating sprinkler of vomit.

Aaaaaall day

She’s back to kitchen painting. I am here for it.

5 on a Friday: Big New Year Energy Edition (1/52)

 1. New rhythm I am trying out: ERRAND FRIDAYS. I have a bunch of nagging things I need to do (non-essential Target pick up, Target returns, Kohls cash expenditure for Cooper, back pack repair), and I saved them all up for Friday this week. I am going to watch Dorothy, Harry, and Jack leave, deposit Minnie and Cooper at school, buy myself a fancy coffee to go with the Cliff Bar I am packing and just run the heck out of those errands. To make this work, I need to be ahead on laundry, so Friday should not be a sheets day, and Friday’s dinner needs to be pretty prepped, so I won’t get all bent out of shape home with Minnie in the afternoon and feel kitchen trapped. BUT— if I can plan backwards from errand Friday, I think this might help me condense tasks into a single day instead of taking little bits of time out of more days. The library would be a good thing to add to this list, for example. I can even try to schedule kid appointments on Fridays and just mess up one single day.

2. Question for you all about batch meal prepping: Is this something you do with any consistency or success? Does anyone make one and freeze one when you cook things? Do you have designated times to chop and prep ingredients during the week? I want to make cooking ahead not suck. You might remember I tried doing it at night for awhile, but we are just SLAMMED with evening activities right now, and it feels very cumbersome there. (It is Thursday right evening now. Ben is making mashed potatoes for Friday dinner, and I am writing this post and still managing to feel put upon-- I AM A DREAMBOAT).

3. I have been accidentally fasting intermittently, and I like it! I generally am done eating by 7 or so at night, and I haven’t been having breakfast until 9. I also bought delicious coffee, so I haven’t been putting chocolate milk in it (lol). I start my day with water and black coffee. I could probably do this regularly. But of course sometimes we will eat later or make a delicious snack or want to have wine, etc. I am not going to be precious about it, but I do like the pattern (for me, in terms of how I feel, not weight loss, etc).

4. THIS BOOK was lovely, as was THIS ONE. THIS BOOK was hilariously, wonderfully awful. I hated it. Then I loved to hate it. Then I just loved it. Wild ride.

5. I put spring semester on my calendar(s), and I am SO excited tp teach my new class and see all my TAs again-- even meetings sound fun again. Every job should come with a lengthy winter break.

Domestic bliss sans children (IS THAT REDUNDANT)

I promised myself I would not waste childcare hours on orthodontist appointments, but I made Cooper's final 2 for times when Minnie is in preschool because today was a lot.

Post-ortho tradition-- we will miss it. Harry is done with braces, and Dorothy is, too (unless she needs them again). Jack is all good naturally (LIKE HIS MOM). So that leaves Minnie--- when I will qualify for a senior citizen's discount everywhere. Except the orthodontist's office.

First rhythm of the year: domestic labor v. paid labor

 I was JUST thinking that I need to be able to place more books on hold via Libby and then— suddenly—- I found Cooper’s library card in the kitchen junk drawer while I was searching for washi tape to put our laminated weekly schedule back on the fridge. Now I have THIRTY HOLDS, and I think this is what’s going to make me love my Kindle.

EVERYONE went to school yesterday (and Ben went to work), and I had four GLORIOUS hours alone in my house.

I went to the co-op for dinner ingredients and my favorite coffee, and then I cam home and did my 24 minutes of writing and wrote a poem for the first time in literal YEARS. I listened to a book while folding laundry and changing Harry’s room from holiday bedding to regular bedding (all 7 beds changed out— now I just have to take a load of books and quilts I de-cluttered in the process to St. Vinny’s (fave local thrift store) and figure out how to to cram all the seasonal bedding and pillows into one giant storage box. I took a walk outside. I read another book and thought about opening my Kindle. And then it was time to pick up Minnie. BUT I HAVE ALONE TIME TODAY, TOO. IS THIS A DREAM?

(I am sure she will be running a fever by tomorrow. One of her friends came to school with a cough so terrible I would be heading straight to the ED, so that’s neat.) (Also, IT IS A PART DAY NURSERY SCHOOL, not a daycare, SO NO ONE NEEDS to send their kids, so let’s all keep sick kids home, yes?)

(Today I have to pick Coop up and take him — with tag along Minnie— to the orthodontist over the lunch hour because the me who scheduled this appointment was an idiot, so it looks like Culver’s for lunch and more chores during preschool time since I will miss a chunk of home-time).

Actually! I also cleaned out my email inboxes, and once of my emails has been hacked. All personal messages have been wiped out, and someone signed up for Match, which is actually very entertaining. And! I registered for next year’s preschool year— so smart to send the materials out on our first day of freedom. I requested 5 mornings plus one full day. LOL. Also it’s 4K next year— she’s ALMOST A KINDERGARTENER. What.

Sheet pan dinner! I bought the root veggies pre chopped and the Brussels pre shaved. I also par boiled the root veggies so I could roast everything together.

Best coffee

She’s moved on to the next holiday

PERMITTED DRIVER!!

Does anyone else HATE being a passenger for a new driver? OH MY GOD. I see dollar signs the whole time just thinking about property damage and hoping the air bag doesn’t break my nose. Although, Dorothy broke my nose with her head when she was little, and it has been fat and crooked ever since, so maybe I need a re-break? BUT NOT THAT WAY.

My challenge this whole semester is to figure out the very best way to spend my kid-free time— this includes early morning, preschool time, dance class waiting room time, and also evenings. It’s a mix of being necessarily productive and also doing things that make me happy. I generally am a crabby shrew by the time Ben gets home because I feel like I get stuck in the kitchen around lunch time and then just sort of stay there all day long until it’s time to pick up Cooper and start my night shift as an unpaid Uber driver. Maybe I would rather work in the basement for a few hours before the drive zone? But I can’t spend my mornings doing housework only. It’s a balance. And, like, today, for example, I want to make spaghetti sauce because I want to eat spaghetti sauce. I need to make banana bread because we have a bag of pulpy bananas in the fridge, but these 2 jobs, plus being interrupted by a 3 year-old seven thousand times**, guarantee I will be trapped in the kitchen and tired and cranky by the end of the day. 

How do I reach end-of-day refreshed and excited to see my spouse and big kids, too?

I feel like answering this question will unlock a new level of happiness and influence, oh, I don’t know, all the other rhythms I am noticing. 

** Minnie does not interrupt Ben in the same way she does me— it is WILD because we both worked from home with her since she was a fetus. I can’t help but blame myself and the way I prioritize work v. domestic labor, but it’s MADDENING.

Cute, though

Laundry: A Follow Up

 I causally mentioned that Harry and Jack’s trip to Florida helped us cut our daily laundry from 9 loads to 6, and people had QUESTIONS.

A couple caveats:

THERE ARE SEVEN PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSE, and I am the 4th biggest. CLOTHES ARE LARGE.

Bath towels are a 1-and-done for us (and are all white— so helpful)

Everyone has their own bed, so that’s a ton of sheets/blankets/duvet covers.

Everyone usually changes at least once for dance/dive/hockey— and there are so many pool towels that get thrown in with brights

Here’s how it breaks down on a usual day:

1 load of whites with bleach thrown in the wash before we go to bed

1 load of darks first thing in the AM

1-2 load(s) of brights next

1 load of clothes I find on the basement floor after that (WHO CARES WHAT COLOR THEY ARE— PICK UP YOUR CLOTHES IF YOU WANT THEM SORTED)

1 load of whites with bleach

1 load of random kitchen towels that have accumulated since early morning plus whatever throw blankets have a not-so-fresh-look or whatever Comfy I found laying around. 

2 loads of sheets and blankets (maybe only 1 load if we are talking about Minnie’s bed, maybe 3 if I did mine and/or Ben’s—4 if I washed duvet covers, too).

Here’s New Year’s Day when I washed and stored Ben’s and my Christmas bedding:

Do you want to hear the most bananas thing about my laundry situation? IT IS A RHYTHM THAT IS ACTUALLY WORKING FINE. I am going to spend some time tracking how long it takes me to gather, sort, touch, fold, put away all of this stuff, but it doesn’t seem to be enough time to make a difference in happiness/productivity/enjoyment of life. STAY RIGHT THERE ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT FOR THE FOLLOW UP.

New Rhythms

 I just… don’t want to set any goals this year. 

2023 was ok for me— we lost Ben’s lovely grandma and our sweet, smelly Beatrix. I had some family drama related to my middle brother; various family members are dealing with illness, lots of workplace upheaval, etc. I think last year showed me (how many times do I need to be shown, though?) that I can’t control everything, no matter how many days I nail my arm workout goals, you know?

I mean, OF COURSE I am still going to exercise for at least 50 minutes 6 days a week, plus do arms and abs. Because that’s a thing I do to make myself happy, regardless of any lists, etc. I want to go to the beach this year and take a kitschy spring break trip with the whole fam (last one???). I want to hit up the Pekin Marigold festival and enjoy the heck out of Harry’s high school graduation weekend. I want to drink more water.

I don’t need to put stuff likely monthly mani/pedis on a list because of course I will go get them. I wil read a bunch of books because— I mean— that’s just what I do.

I wasn’t even going to do the yearly habit challenge that Gretchen Rubin runs every year— but then her IG account shared a picture of Dorothy and me going outside for 23 in 23, and I decided to give write for 24 in 24 a go (but I am not counting this blog toward that goal— I make time for this writing anyway— surely I can magic up 24 extra minutes to work on… something else).

BUT. I can identify some things in my life that are going less smoothly than I would like them to— and those are the things I want to fix. For me 2024 is the year of new rhythms. 

There are some problems in my life that all have to do with routines not working anymore. My menstrual cycle is all over the darn place, like a Judy Blume novel with wrinkles. We spend 1/5 of our waking hours IN THE CAR. No one is ever home to eat the dinners I make, but we can’t just go through the drive through all of the time. Can I live a productive life and also sleep past 5 am? How can we spend quality time with our big kids and still see each other at the end of the day? When Do Cooper and Dorothy need to be included in later night hangs? I need to figure out how to dress my changing body and where to shop in middle age. I think I am ready to stop coloring my hair,  After Harry graduates in June, we are looking at a solid decade of kids in college. THE TIMES ARE A CHANGING, and this is a year for me to figure out how to change with them.

As an upholder, I don’t really need outside accountability, but I am going to use this space to bring up rhythms that are out of sync for me and brainstorm ways to reset them. 

The tricks is to figure out how to do that without making 2024 the year of complaining. Maybe I need to do my own happiness project? Thoughts on how to tackle this task?

December: What I Read

 Nothing I read in December made my best list, but a few things came really close!!

The bad:

The River We Remember by William Kent Krueger: This was too mojo dojo casa house for me. **2023

In A Single Moment by Imogen Clark: I mean, this kept my attention, but it was not great. **audio

The pretty good:

The Rosewood Hunt by Mackenzie Reed: This was YA, but I didn't notice that at first, and once I did, I liked it better *2023

Wreck the Halls by Tessa Bailey: This was just OK for me **2023

I Will Find You by Harlan Coben: Same **2023 **kindle

No One Will Miss Her by Kat Rosenfield: Meh, but engorssing. ** audio

The plain old good:

The Paper Wasp by Laura Acampora: This was weird and dark, and I liked it alot. Also, Minnie's teacher recommended it, which makes me feel better about the whole preschool teacher murder book thing. **kindle

Unnatural Death by Patricia Cornwell: The 27th Kay Scarpetta was the best one in YEARS. **2023

A Likely Story by Leigh McMullen Abramson: One of those literary inside baseball books where you sort of hate everyone but root for them anyway. **2023

Check and Mate by Ali Hazelwood: I adore her grown-up books, and I also liked this YA read. **2023

The very good

Something Wild by Hanna Halperin: BEAUTIFUL! SO sad! Wonderful characters-- loved this one. **Audio

The Christmas Orphans Club by Becca Freeman: This was a delightful holiday romance **2023 **audio

The Other Mothers by Katherine Faulkner: Yes yes yes! Murderous moms! School dramZ! Marriage problems-- my fave. **2023 

The EXCELLENT

I Could Live Here Forever by Hanna Halperin: Oh wow. This is a devastating look at opioid addiction, and it is set in Madison, and the characters are grad students. I loved it so much I immediately bought her first book on Audible for cash money even though it’s a few years old, which is very out-of-character for me. **audio **2023

Wellness by Nathan Hill: Loved it! I couldn't tell if the way he got closer and then farther away from his characters as the narrator was just white middle class dude privilege or a literary choice, but I loved it anyway. **2023

This Month:

15 books

11 books published in 2023

7 print, 2 Kindle, 6 audio

This Year:

210 books

120 books published in 2023

113 print, 15 Kindle, and 82 audio