Grateful Thursday, Volume 1

 Oh, my friends. I think one of the reasons I love NaBloPoMo so much is that November can be a really hard month.

At my university (where we do not have a fall break!!) November is super stressful for students, especially younger students, because it has been so long since they have been home. They really miss their families, and they are really stressed out. They go home for Thanksgiving and feel better for a hot second but then also much worse— homesickness, comparison with friends, reactions perhaps to their appearance by family members who haven’t seen them in awhile, dread at going back to school to face finals and grades that maybe aren’t exactly where they need to be.

For faculty and staff, the stress sort of gets bumped down to us from the students. Committees all feel the need to meet before break. Gradging ramps up. Graduate students who do the work of running large undergrad courses feel similarly stressed, and then when they start to slip, we have to jump in to provide emotional support and do academic labor— IT IS A VERY LOT.

Plus! The weather is getting progressively drearier and colder. High school has big projects coming due, so those kids are all agitated. The little kids are starting to get really excited about looming holidays, and shopping lists start to spiral out of control. 

And then! There’s the whole other layer of holiday food prep and making plans and leaving time to cherish memories, etc, while doing the very real and menial domestic labor of manufacturing the situations for those memories to happen.

We are, like, bombarded with messages about how happy we should be, but the work of making everyone happy is emotionally draining, you know???

And for me, holiday grief is still real. I know it has been 4 years (5 in April!!) since my dad died, and my grandma was in a nursing home for several years before she died of COVID, so it has been awhile since my whole family went to Des Moines for Thanksgiving and sometimes Hanukkah depending on the calendar, but every November, I miss those holidays and those faces around the table. My grandpa Jack who I haven’t seen since before Cooper was born! Bomma and her A+ matzoh ball soup! My dad, my dad, my dad, who I still want to talk to on the phone at least once a week and miss so sharply sometimes I have to sit down and close my eyes for a second.

November can be a heavy month, and that’s why I delight in all of your posts and comments and pictures and why I love having a running diary of mundanity to look at over the years and say to myself yes, November is gray and busy and sometimes lonely, but also so beautiful.

Cheers to quotidian beauty, typos and all. Typos especially?

Also, let’s not forget preschool ballet. Endless gratitude for that.

Random Word Wednesday: LIBRARY

 One amazing perk of my new schedule is that I have plenty of time to take Minnie to the library. IF I WANT TO.

She insists on posing WITH MY STATUE FRIENDS every time we visit, so only a gd monster WOULDN’T want to take her, right?

I also have plenty of time to go to the freaking library BY MY FREAKING SELF to either grab books or even to set up shop and WORK THERE if I want to.

This is so exciting because it has been a hot second since either of these things were possible. Minnie and I have had a rough time consistently finding a time to go to the ‘brary. We had time between swimming and TLG, but then she leveled up in swim class, and our swim/gym day became an absolutely cluster. AND THEN YOU ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO GYM **sob**

BUT ALSO, I have really missed the absolute cozy quiet of the library and the ease of running in to grab my holds without a toddler along for the ride 

(Side note: IS SHE A TODDLER, even, or are we firmly in preschooler territory?)

And! Cold and flu season plus little kid plus library equals ALL OF THE VIRUSES. Soooooo, going by myself sounds amazing. I think I am going to aim for Thursdays because that’s the day Tuesday new releases hit the walk-in shelf, and I should have the perfect amount of time to get a coffee somewhere or run home and switch laundry and be at the library the moment it opens. HEAVEN.

Also, Minnie has to put coins in the vortex funnel wishing well every single flipping time, so I need to allocate enough time for that little ritual, and sometimes, I just, erm, don’t want to, you know??

Today is #OneDayHH on Instagram, so I will be posting aaaaaall day (to my feed, like an animal). If you are on IG, join in-- such a fun way to document your every day and see how other people live their curated lives.

Too mature for the book fair?? Who knew this day would come?

 The other week when I was running to Costco, Coop asked me to grab the newest Diary of a Wimpy Kid book, and I was delighted. I really thought both he and Dorothy were too sophisticated for those books, and I was sad to relegate them to other outgrown series like Cat Kid and Dog Man and Junie B. Jones and even the graphic novel Babysitter’s Club books.

He read it in under 45 minutes, but THAT’S OK— the point is he still wanted to. He is really into Percy Jackson right now, so that’s another series I can buy. And Dorothy is still reading my old scary tween/teen faves, so that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Really, though, I didn’t realize how much I miss having little kid readers who like little kid books until the elementary school book fair rolled around.

By some miracle from the heavens, I scheduled Dorothy and Cooper’s annual well kid check ups back-to-back first thing in the morning on a day that neither Dorothy nor Minnie had school.** After the doc (and taking Coop to school where he barely missed a THING because his school starts so freaking late), Dorothy had her parent-teacher conference, and the school books fair was open. I was excited to take her and Minnie because I thought they would both find something great, and we could all go home and read.

Only **record scratch**  Dorothy did not find a single book she wanted because everything was “TOO BABYISH.” Talk about the end of an era I didn’t even know could end!! Total heartbreak.

Not too big for silly pajamas or to walk with me though.

Also, Minnie cried when the conference was over because she wanted to “STAY HERE AT THIS SCHOOL ALL BY MYSELF,” so that always makes you look awesome— when your kid doesn’t even want to come home with you.

(And the pediatrician told Dorothy— who hates vaccines and cries at the mere thought of them— that she could have 2 shots this year, 2 shots next year and no shots when she’s 12 OR 1 shot this year, 2 shots next year, and 1 shot when she’s 12 OR no shots this time, three shots next year, and 1 shot when she’s 12. AND DOROTHY PICKED THE FIRST OPTION. She said, well, the thing I hate the most about shots is knowing I have to get them, so let’s just get it over with. She really IS growing up.)

** Seriously, this NEVER happens to me. Like, for example, each twice-yearly dentist appointment I schedule is WORSE than the one that came before it— so brutal. It’s like the me of months ago REALLY HATED the present-day me and decided to enact her revenge with impossible scheduling. BUT HOW COULD I KNOW WHAT CLUSTERFUCK WOULD AWAIT ME COME APRIL WHEN I SCHEDULE THINGS IN OCTOBER?????

CASE OF THE MONDAYS Volume 1

 Oh, you guuuuuuuys. THIS IS IT. 

THE WEEK OUR SCHEDULE FALLS TO ABSOLUTE SHIT.

Well, not our schedule. Mine. MY SCHEDULE.

I am dreading this change. 

It has been like 5 weeks in the making, so I have been able to spend my time in placid denial. As Ben’s last day of work loomed, he stopped having so much responsibility at the office, and he had noticeably more time to devote to house and kid stuff, so I was able to squeeze in even more focused work time, and it was just lovely. I moved from placid denial to active resistance and dread pretty quickly.

GAH, is pretty much the most coherent noise I can make.

Minnie in a leotard, though, am I right?

PIC OF THE WEEEEEEEK

 This has been a lovely week: our last completely normal one before Ben’s big job change, and it had a kid-favorite holiday.

BUT.

The best pic I took is Minnie SCREAMING at the top of her lungs because I bought her a churro not an ice cream at Costco.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS PICTURE SOUNDS LIKE, I KNOW YOU DO.

(It sounds like birth control).

Silly shoes, perfect cookies

 I had coffee with an old friend on campus the other morning, and, because I am a very old lady, I had to duck into a building to pee on the way back to my office. Something about that bathroom's smell-- nothing particularly disgusting, just a very old bathroom in a random academic university building smell-- made me instantly nostalgic for my college speech tournament days. 

Specifically, I had a sharp memory of being in a stuffy bathroom at Illinois State University in that drowsy, early evening time after the final rounds of competition but before the awards ceremony started. I was with my friend Jamie and a couple of other girls from my team, and we were standing on the bathroom floor in our pantyhose, taking a break from our tall, cheap heels. I remember how badly the balls of my feet ached and how good the warm, grimy bathroom tiles felt on them as we stood there smelling the odor of feet finally released from pleather and wet paper towels and heating vent dust in our tight suits and control-top hose, exhausted after a long day of competition but still excited for awards, the van ride home, a party or two on the horizon.

Sometimes when I am at work, I miss being young so much the feeling overwhelms me. 

Sometimes I am so happy to be 25 years older but still clomping around a college campus in high heels and pretty skirts, ducking into lecture halls to speak-- only this time no one is judging me, and getting paid for it.

I would absolutely not be in a public bathroom in my stocking feet any more, and I wondered the other morning from the depths of my nostalgia why that is. Maybe because as an adult, I clean bathrooms and know just how dirty they are. Or maybe I would be if I still spent 12+ hour days three-to-five spindly inches taller and walking miles.

I clomped around in these the other day:

I bought them JUST IN TIME for snow. Cool.

I also accessorized with pink lipstick, but I ate a huge apple, and calamity ensued

I FNALLY made THE COOKIES, and they were so great I had to make another batch 18 hours later. You gotta make these, you guys (I didn’t modify the ingredients, but I did make 30 small cookies and modify the cook time)

5 on a Friday: NaBloPoPlans Edition

 

It’s NATIONAL BLOG POSTING MONTH!!

I am linking up with San to pst EVERY SINGLE DAY in November, and I can’t wait. I have a few goals this month:

1. Meet new bloggers— always a huge perk of NaBloPoMo

2. Have a time capsule of my life right this moment— def my favorite thing about this exercise

3. Stay on top of all my comments. I never did this until I met the new crop of old school bloggers I am currently following, and I am sad I missed so many years NOT replying to comments.

4. Implement some more regular posts, so I don’t hav to struggle with invention. I already do 5 on a Friday, but I think I am going to add:

• CASE OF THE MONDAYS, where I complain about my privilege (I mean, I am going to complain about things happening in my life, but sometimes I have the flash of awareness to understand that my problems are not real problems)
• RANDOM WORD WEDNESDAY, where I will take a page from Engie’s book and let a random word generator guide my writing
• GRATEFUL THURSDAY, where I will try to stop whining just once a week
• PIC OF THE WEEK, a weekend post where I choose my favorite random snapshot from the previous week and tell you about it

That just leaves 2 measly days each week to come up with something original. CAN I DO IT??

5. Read MOAR BLOGS. I want to make sure I am keeping up with everyone else’s posts, too, without devoting my whole month to life on the interwebz.

 CAN IT BE DONE??? Read along and find out.

Previous NaBloPoMos on Harry Times:

2009

2010

2011

2012

2013

2014

2015

2016

2017

2018

2019 (I would say something snarky here, but my dad died in 2019, and I just could not even)

2020

2021

2022