SAHM

I had to break my no-liquor-midweek rule tonight because I was home with 3 kids (Harry has had a fever since Sunday) all day.  Well, all day after preschool.  And dayum. WHAT A DAY. I was wearing the "clothes" I SLEPT IN (which I wore to elementary school to pick up homework, preschool drop off and pick up, and the grocery store until 5:30 when I lured the kids into semi submission with dinner and took a shower and put on clean pajamas.

We are going to take Harry to the pediatrician tomorrow, and he sees his cardiologist for a follow-up on Friday, so I ma not too worried about him, but I wish his fever would go away.  He feels fine with Tylenol or Ibuprofen, but when it wears off, he has a tummy ache and a fever of 101-103.  He threw up Sunday and Monday, but Tuesday and today he just laid around feeling crappy.  I finally picked up school work for him this morning, and he spent the afternoon researching the Black Hawk War and starting his Wisconsin history research paper, taking a 4-page second-quarter math assessment that I have to run over to school tomorrow, writing in his reading log, and blowing through his weekly vocab and reading comprehension packets.  If he doesn't go to school tomorrow, he'll be done with both homework and school work before noon.  Plus he has almost solved Zelda on the Wii U.  So, it's been a productive week.

Oh!  And he learned to vacuum.  Instead of reminding Ben to vacuum the basement every Tuesday and Thursday, I have decided to pay Harry $1 extra allowance a week to do it.

Techo Angst

Yesterday I dropped my phone like I do at least 8 times a week, and the screen shattered in a million pieces even though I have one of those dorky mom Speck cases with the lip around the edge.

I have Apple Care, so I figured the kids and I would run to the store and swap it out if repair was going to take too long.  I have done this before several times, so I didn't think it would be an issue.  I also checked first to see if there were any appointments.  But there weren't.  Until fucking Wednesday.

The kids and I included harry, by the way, who has stopped puking but has a fever, chills and body aches but had to go with us to the Little Gym to watch Dorothy and Cooper's class.  He isn;t coughing or expelling any sort of contagious fluids, and he feels fine with Tylenol, so I figured it was OK for him to sit in the lobby and play with this iPad.  No OK?  Waiting two fucking hours for an Apple Store walk-in appointment that would perfectly coincide with Jack needing to be picked up from school.

We all went home, and I planned to swing by on my way to campus and see if I could drop off my phone or get in virtual line for an after work appointment.  OF COURSE I got in line only to be texted that it was my turn when I was in the middle of a meeting 30 minutes away.  I planned to stop by AGAIN on my way home, but it snowed really bad and I didn't want to be skulking around the mall until 9pm.

So I have a broken phone, a Thursday appointment and plans to stalk the Apple Store and then do some work at a Starbucks across the street after I teach my class and go to meetings meetings meetings.  Because Wednesday?  Means I'll have 4 damn kids along.

I mena, you guys.  I have a busted phone and I don;t care how much they charge me to fix it.  I'll even get a new one-- JUST FIX MY FUCKING PHONE ALREADY.  It reminds me of the time my washer broke and I had to wait 5 days for a new one even though I wasn't even being a little bit picky.  Oompa Loompa.  Right now.  Etc.

On the plus side, The Little Gym was adorable, and I would show you a picture, but my computer is completely full and nothing more will download.  FML.

Puke.

Let's go back to a simpler time.  A time before all the bacteria and viruses, the strep throat and vomiting.  So.  Much.  Vomiting.

On Friday, the kids had early dismissal, so we invited all of our friends over to go skating on the pond by our house and come over for snacks and Baileys.  I made cupcakes from scratch and cookies.  We bought a couple of Costco pizzas and some veggies and spinach dip. I made a big pot of spicy soup in case skating made everyone super cold.

And then when I picked Jack and Harry up, Jack was GREEN and said he needed to go lie down.  He had a 103 fever and vomited from the moment he walked in the door until 11:00 that night.

Saturday, I took him to urgent care because his sore throat and headache were out of control, and he was positive for strep.  The nurse swore that vomiting is a normal symptom; he got some antibiotics, and w went home.  Ben and I went out for a friend's 40th birthday party, and all was lovely.

Until I woke up with a raging hangover to the sound of Harry puking all over the clean dishes in the kitchen sink.

I took him to the doc, but NO STREP.  What he does have is a 103+ fever and a stomach ache.

So we have strep AND a horrible virus.

Lucky us?

This day. This never ending day.

Oh my god this day.

Part of my fatigue is that I made broccoli cheese soup for me and Ben to have for dinner and Harry and Jack had a late hockey practice and WE STILL HAVEN'T EATEN.

But the other part is that I got up at 5 to work out and have been home with the kids all day.  zOMG.

Usually I work at the office on Thursdays, but Ben had an all-day in-service.  So.  Work at home it was.  During my blessed 3 hours of everyone being in school this morning, I got into a really great writing groove at a coffee shop and then Harry called  to ask me to bring all his books on the Black Hawk War to school because some time opened up in his day to work on his project and since he got his books from the public library instead of the school library, they weren't just hanging out in his desk.

Dorothy has a fever and crapped all over Cooper's room.

I drove Harry, Jack, and a friend of Harry's to hickey practice where they were meeting Ben thank God, and Cooper smacked Jack the whole way there like some sort of wild animal who could not get over the novelty of three kids crammed 3 across in the way back.  Jack's eye was swollen even.  Then Cooper cried the whole way home and mot of the rest of the night because he wanted to stay at the hockey rink, too.

It's just been one of those days.

Good thing they're cute:

 (and that my soup smells so delicious)

Valentines! I am on top of my game this year for the first time ever!

I was complaining about Pinterest Valentines on Facebook, and Kate suggested I follow this tutorial.  So I did, and I made the cutest, easiest, CHEAPEST Valentines ever.  Usually, I just buy a box of whatever crappy character they want at Target and pass out heart shaped pretzels, but not this year!  This year we get quasi-homemade ones!  For $8!  (Plus candy, but still).

That was pretty much the triumph of my day.

The rest of the day was all about getting the kids off to school, running the preschool drop off/pick up gauntlet, and doing random housework and errands (after writing for 2 hours at the coffee shop!!!!!!).

We tried to pick up some viruses at the library:

 Spent a very serious hour painting aggressively while Jack was at his tutor's house

 And played fetch with the dog for over half an hour, which almost killed her.

A successful little Wednesday.

Bullet points without bullets

Losing weight is hard.

I have lost 2 pounds this week, but for awhile, I was in the 4.5 range, and that was exciting because this is the Anthropologie diet after all, and I was looking forward to cashing in on my first 5-pound prize.

But it turns out that phrase nothing tastes as good as skinny feels is a bunch of crap because homemade chocolate chip cookies do.

I worked on my book in the office today and FELL ASLEEP sitting upright in a chair.  So obviously, it's a great book.  I actually blame the semi-comfy chair in my office that I inherited from an old conference room.

Harry went to the doctor today for his effusion, which is GONE.  Thank goodness.  We go back on Friday next week because he is quitting the NSAIDs cold turkey.  Hopefully he never has another, but I wouldn't bet on it.

Tomorrow, I have to do something really hard: walk away from a dirty house and go to a coffee shop to write while the kids are in school.  I MUST resist the temptation to clean everything up and then use the leftover time for writing because there won't be any leftover time.

I also need to eat more food during the day so I am not starving and making bad choices in the early afternoon.

Goals.  I have them.

Coloring in our First Ladies coloring book, which Dorothy calls the scary princess book.

 SO HAPPY HIS EFFUSION IS GONE!

Back to school eve

It's back-to-school eve.  For me.  Ben doesn't go back until next week.

4 dozen-ish gooey (and still disconcertingly flat even though I mixed by hand AND chilled the dough) chocolate chip mom-guilt cookies cool on my kitchen counter.

I packed my giant tote bag with a phone charger; some headphones; my favorite sunglasses; 7 lipsticks; a handful of bobby pins; a couple of pens I stole out of Ben's basket of shit on top of his dresser; that weird cord that plugs my Mac into the super smart podium in my classroom; a slew of syllabi and handouts just in case my 5:00 alarm doesn't get me worked out, fed, dressed, and on campus in enough time to hit my office; cute high heeled booties to replace the Uggs I'll walk a half-mile to class in; my trusty Tiffany-blue Klean Kanteen; my stream-of-consciousness red Moleskine notebook; and, soon, my  320-calorie lunch of a smoked turkey sandwich, a huge bag of baby carrots, an apple, and a pear and this very computer.

I hung my dress, tights, scarf, and necklace haphazardly on my closet door and hope that the steam from my shower smooths out any last minute wrinkles.  I have even laid out my earrings and rings and swear I am going to charge my Fitbit tonight.

I did my adjunct online work tonight.  Sent a welcome message to my real students.  Emailed all my PTO board members and assembled agendas for our meetings tomorrow night.  Rescheduled a meeting for a public speaking seminar I am giving for a campus group to accommodate taking harry to the cardiologist.  Made sure Jack is current with his homework and set the boys up to have a successful homework time when they wake up in the morning.  Blocked off 2 hours a day 4 days a week to write and swear I am not going to do petty worky things or screw around on the internet marinating in horrible guilt instead.

Spring semester is getting REAL.

But not today!  Today we went swimming at my parents' hotel despite the below zero temps and then drove to the Jelly Belly warehouse to take a tour and buy that stupid game where you have to eat gross flavored beans.  Such a fun day!!

All of the kids loved the pool, but Cooper was especially delighted and delightful, running around in the water feature, jumping in the "deep" end, and eating the tops of 8 donuts.  Then he fell down and almost bit through his lip and spent the rest of the time sitting sadly in the hot tub.  He was holding a towel to his mouth, ad it was a little red when he pulled it away.  He looked at it and started shrieking "BLOOD! BLOOD!  BLOOD!"  That kids HATES to bleed his own blood.  He kept coming up to me and asking, "Is blood still coming out?" for hours afterward.

 A friend of ours smoked a turkey breast four us, and Beatrix wasted no time grabbing a piece.

 After dinner Dorothy danced to "Better When I'm Dancing" for at least 40 minutes.  Like she does almost every night.

 The warehouse tour was really lame (REALLY LAME), but we got o ride a train, so the kids totally loved it.  I played the gross jelly bean game along with them in the car on the way home until I got a moldy cheese jelly bean.  Then it was all over for me.