Stop pouting, damnit

I feel terrible for my post yesterday when I was all "3 year olds suck." My 3 year-old sucked because he had pinkeye and a double ear infection. Oops.

Both kids woke up with freaking SNOT in their eyes. SNOT. So before hacking down our tree, we took them to urgent care to make sure they didn't have pinkeye (which, they do). On the way to the doctor, Harry lost his shit and started screaming that his ear hurt. He insisted that it hurt really bad on the inside and that it was not okay. He was really emphatic about the not okay part. He cried for 45 minutes-- in the car, in the waiting room, in the exam room, and durning and after his diagnosis of a double ear infection. Ben finally shoved some Tylenol down his throat and took him out to the waiting room to look at the fish, so I could listen to the on-call pediatrician give helpful eye drop appllication tips and so Jack's eye snot could get a look. Pinkeye. Oh yeah.

Ben stayed inside and waited for the Augmentin and eye drops, and the kids and I went to the car to listen to Christmas carols. Harry's Tylenol kicked in (thank god), and he passed out instantly

He was not, though, in a totally awesome mood when he woke up at the tree farm, where we opted for a precut so we could get our little sickies home

Ben's just excited that he doesn't have to wield a saw

Harry fell in love with his tree and would not be dissuaded.

A leetle whining at the donut and cider stand

A tree! On my car! So awesome!

Harry was so proud of the stubby little tree he selected

At home, we stashed Jack in his crib for a nap and got to work on making some Christmas magic, Ben unroped the tree (yes we have matching cars. I know. Super dorky)

and carried it around to the front door


Ben was like WTF? Why are you taking pictures and not helping me?

Ben took off his shoes as he brought the tree in, and I took a picture so I would remember to tell you-- Harry asked Ben the other night before bed if Santa had to take his boots off after he came down the chimney. Maybe I should relax my stance on shoes in the house?

Harry was like super helpful

"Buddy the Elf. What's your favorite color?"

The lights were so much easier to put on a real tree-- only took 3 minutes, which was a treat because back in the day before we bought a pre-lit tree, by the time we would string the lights, we wanted to kill each other.

The BEST part of decorating is opening all the boxes and remembering all the ornaments. Harry loved this as much as I did, which was especially adorable because there's no way he actually remembered any of it, especially since Santa dropped by and decorated our tree last year. Also, we have 2 baby's first Christmas ornaments for Harry and none for Jack. We suck.

Look at him cavorting like a little elf.

These cute little leg dangling shelf-sitting snow men were (surprisingly) the only decorating casualty. Ben tripped over the Little People nativity on his way to distribute more tchotzkes and knocked them on the floor. Tragic because they're so happy, even headless.

See its sad little severed mittened hand?

This pretty much sums up the holiday for us.

So cute

Sweeping up needles. On the other side of the room. I feel like I'll be doing this a lot for the next few weeks.

Harry calls the manger the "Hanukkah house" because that's the joint gift (along with Polar Express-- ha!) that they unwrapped in the first night of Hanukkah last year.

What? Your infancy narrative lacks ninja Spiderman? Lame.

Definitely has a lean. That we are IGNORING

But I am utterly charmed by the stubby little thing.

SItting next to it right now, it totally smells like gin, which is also a perk.

3 year olds: WTF is up with them?

zOMG. Really.

I don't know what he is doing in this picture, but I think it was LOUD

(also, do you like what a total shithole my desk is when the fold-out cabinet thingy is folded out? You should see the cupboard underneath-- about $5000 worth of archival Planned Parenthood documents and every picture I have printed in the last 12 months and 7500 paperclips all jumbled up together with some cords and power strips)
It snowed yesteday and everyone in town forgot how to drive and it took me over an hour to get home from work and when I did, Harry accosted me in the laundry room and demanded that we go outside and play. I said we had to eat dinner first, and he burst into snotty tears. WTF?

And poor Jack hated the "oooooh" (snow) because it was "daaaaaaa" (dark) outside and last year's boots didn't fit him, so he just stood there in his sneakers freezing.


Tonight, we went to Target to get a tree stand for the tree we're hacking down tomorrow, and we grabbed some light up Spiderman boots for Jack (klassy), and Harry went batshit crazy because he wants Spiderman boots too even though he has boots at home, He started screaming "My boots are too small! I can't walk! They hurt my feet!" at the top of his lungs. Awesome.

He is asleep now after throwing the mother of all tantrums because the week's new episode of the "Fantastic Four" cartoon he is addicted to doesn't DVR itself until 9:30, which is hours past his little bedtime, but he wanted to watch it at 7 BEFORE IT EVEN AIRED. I told him there was no way to travel to the future without a Delorean. And yet. The screaming.

I might love my crock pot a little too much if you know what I mean

I have no clue why I added that last part to the title of this post. Crock pot innuendo? Weird.

Ben has a work thing tonight, so after I teach, I have to go home and do dinner and bath and bedtime by myself-- which, for the record, I hate to do. It's a 2-person job, and I totally lack patience by then. Also? The kids? Totally need to eat at 5:20 at the latest or they are TERRIBLE, so by the time we get home, they are cuh-razy.

But the Family Dinner. It is sacred.

Which is why I planned to take them to Panera.

But when I was opening the fridge to scrounge up a snack for Jack this morning, I was assaulted by all the pretty, fresh food in there that was screaming to be eaten before it goes bad. Sooooo, I whipped up a 5-minute, $5 dinner, and I am kind of excited about it.

I sauteed all of this (garlic, peppers, spinach, mushrooms, and onions)

And added it to this:

I threw it in the crock pot with some tomato paste and a bunch of random spices and turned it on warm for a few hours. When I get home, I'll boil this:

and throw the sauce on it. Instant dinner!

Then I'll lose my shit at some point cleaning pasta sauce and squished cheese off the floor while the kids run wild and trash the living room which has no toys because we moved shit around to make room for the tree we're going to hack down Griswald style on Saturday (where someone will lose a phalange or limb, so wait for that gory post).

Here's Jack nodding off mid-Pirate Booty snack


Harry and I also have big plans to use all this crap and a ton of butter

to make fudge because I have decided that from now on, we should welcome the first snowfall of the season with fudge, and the snow, it is falling.

Outside w/o gear for the last time this season?

These were pictures I planned to post with charmingly witty captions during NaBloPoMo, but I feel like I should get them up quick because it is SNOWING! And they will soon be totally obsolete. What a luxury to be outside with no coats on. I noticed this morning that wearing coats and hats and the like adds 50% more time and 64% more screaming to our get-out-the-door routine. Can't wait till there's slush to contend with!

Can you believe all the crap we hauled out in the yard? Our neighbors LOVE us-- wouldn't you?


Love his little flabby cheeks

Santa makes it so klassy


They even took their coats off. Ahhh, memories.



I am actually pretty bummed about the snow that I am watching fall right now because Harry is like a puppy-- he needs to go outside and be exercised (exorcized?) for at least 2 hours a day. here is is playing his favorite game-- Running Up and Down the Sidewalk While Screaming. In a pinch he'll play this around the kitchen table or on the stairs. Oy.



Aaaand then they spent some time pushing each other off the slide. Yay for safety!

Not quite speechless

Thanks for your comments on my post yesterday. Very nice to listen to my rant, which I deleted.

The evaluation was pleasant, actually. Jack had a great time, and the women agreed that his motor skills are excellent and that he is very funny.

He does, in fact, have a language delay, which seems to be the result of some oral motor difficulties he has. The SLP didn't know if he is delayed enough to actually qualify for services. She has to score his evaluation and get back to us because he is right on the border.

(he has some food issues-- he doesn't like the way slimy textures feel in his mouth; he stuffs his cheeks until he gags, and he doesn't use his tongue to move food or drink around his mouth. all of these things may be related to his inability to form sounds, which is what our pediatrician said at his 18-month appointment. we asked our doctor if we should contact the Birth to 3 program for a speech evaluation and he said we could if we wanted. he said he thought Jack was developing okay-- definitely slower than his big brother, but still not alarmingly slow-- but if we had concerns we should call the place and get Jack seen. he also said Jack's speech issues seemed to be with pronunciation, not acquisition/understanding/sensory development-- all huge reliefs.)

On one hand, we are glad that he is sort of okay. We are also glad that he DOES have a problem and we aren't just being stage parents or something. But having him on the cusp of getting help through this program is really frustrating. If he is delayed (and he is), we want him to have some help.

Obviously, this program is not the only place to turn for therapies-- there are books and curricula and exercises and private therapists, etc. The SLP made it sound like they would probably NOT recommend services now, but they would do another evaluation when he is 2 and if he hasn't had a language explosion they'll help him then. I am not going to be able to just sit tight for 5 months listening to Jack's entire vocabulary being expressed in 3 consonant sounds because I am anxious like that. so I'll keep you posted.