Hormone therapy rant

 Ever since the FDA removed the black box warning on menopausal hormone therapy, LOTS of women of a certain age have been prescribed estrogen patches. SO MANY WOMEN are wearing patches, in fact, that MANUFACTURERS cannot keep up. YOU GUYS. Ugh.

If you are someone like me who is SUPER SENSITIVE to hormonal shifts, this especially terrible. Not only do I need a patch to feel human, I also really only like ONE PARTICULAR PATCH. You might think that as long as I get a patch with my prescribed dose of estrogen, then I would be good, since, medically, the patches are all the same, right? WRONG. Different patches have different kinds of adhesive and absorb differently. When I tried the Sandoz generic, my symptoms all came rushing back. My dod said I'd level out in 1-2 weeks, but, right now, most pharmacies are only filling one month of patches at a time because of supply chain issues, and they are filling whatever brand they can get. So this means, every 4 weeks, I need to plan 1-2 weeks to adjust to a different patch since I can't know which one I'll get and then start over every month? WHAT. I would be more willing to  deal with a switch if I were getting 3 months at a time.

I spent 2 hours going from pharmacy to pharmacy last week trying to track my brand down (I have found that it is better to speak to someone in person, and women pharmacists-- especially women my age and slightly older-- are more knowledgable and sympathetic about the situation and also more willing to dig around in their computers for a bit longer). NO LUCK. 

I asked my bro friend Chat to look around on Reddit and tell me which patch was most like the one I love, and he was like sorry dude. There are no matches. Well, there are matches in terms of shape and size, but even the one that look alike make women feel different. BAH.

Finally, I called my OG pharmacy back and asked for the name brand version of the patch I love. The bad news is that is costs $250 a box and my insurance will not pay for it. The good news is that no one else is dumb enough to pay that kind of money, so there are plenty in stock.

(I thought about the tip in the NYT article above to get a bigger dose and halve or quarter the patch, but the one I like is teeny tiny, so this seems hard. I could get a dedicated patch cutter cricut though LOL/not LOL)

(Also that tip is bullshit and not something middle-aged men would have to do if a hormone therapy were prescribed en masse for them. Factories would, like, retool overnight to make their patches, and docs wouldn't be like oh whatever, just quadruple your dose and then divide it by 4 and you'll be fine probably. Waiting at a CVS counter the other day, I saw a WHOLE SHELF of testosterone in various delivery methods. Boo hiss.)

Switching generic patch brands is not like just getting the Target brand generic ibuprofen when you usually take the Walgreens brand-- I wish it were!

Also did my yearly mammogram-- so many middle aged delights.