Wednesday, September 25, 2024

This Is What Democracy Looks Like

 



The title of this post is from my very favorite protest march rallying cry, when organizers with bullhorns chant THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE to the throngs of people assembled. Chokes me up every time.

On Saturday, democracy looked a lot like me and Jack sweatily knocking on doors to ask our neighbors to vote for the Harris/Walz ticket and Senator Tammy Baldwin. It was a really fun canvass because we had strong Democrats on our list along with the usual roster of friendly— but not always faithful— voters. 

That’s something to note if you have never canvassed before: you won’t be walking into any hostile situations— you are only knocking on your own’s party’s doors. Usually the people you are talking to haven’t voted in a while or maybe don’t always vote in midterms. Having strong Dems also on the list was a treat —so many excited voters instead of just polite but nonplussed people.

 Door knocking is more about getting out the vote, typically, than about changing hearts and minds. You just talk, drop some campaign literature, and leave. Remind people to make a plan to vote as you walk down their front path. Then you enter a few details into your canvassing app and knock on the next door. It’s a pleasant way to pass a lovely couple of hours.

I prefer a Saturday morning shift because a good chunk of your list will probably be at the grocery store or at a soccer game, and you can just leave a pamphlet under their welcome mat and move on. I like to be able to balance a few houses of conversations with a few houses of dropping and running, you know?

I had one super awkward encounter with a younger many who said he was not voting because the system is too corrupt and he wants to watch it burn. I was like Oh, I see. Do you think you’re persuadable on any issue? And he said no. Just flatly. NO. I said I like to talk to people because I am really committed to voting for a candidate who has a clear plan to make the country better, and he said MAYBE I WILL WRITE IN BERNIE.

Oh! And! I knocked on a door answered by a guy who looked familiar. I said I was with our neighborhood action group and asked him if he had a plan to vote, and he said in a really stilted manner, “I am looking forward to participating in the process.” I walked down his front path thinking those were some weird vibes, and then I clocked the state rep sign in his yard and realized HE WAS THE GUY ON THE SIGN. For a minute I felt bad for not recognizing him, but who recognizes their state rep on the street?

Honestly, I would not recognize my US Senator Tammy Baldwin if I bumped into her on the street or at the grocery store. That’s what’s so cool about volunteering during election season— you realize that politicians are just regular people who live in your communities and wear slacks with big white sneakers.

But of course I knew who she was when I met her at the action group’s headquarters, and she kicked off our canvass. SO COOL!




Monday, September 23, 2024

“No Spend” results

 Ok, so, listen. I am going to share what I actually spent on my “no spend” week,  and I am pretty sure you are going to think it sounds pretty spendy. BUT I SWEAR IT WAS NOT AT ALL. It is pricey to have five freaking kids, you know?

This does not include any bills that we auto pay or any subscriptions (I get my shampoo and conditioner and my night cream and all of our random Amazon things via subscription, so lots of time, stuff just appears on my door at the exact right moment and I don’t even notice it. LOL).

 It also does not include anything that Ben spent, and he also got gas twice, ate dinner out, ran to Hyvee for apples and other things, bought groceries for Friday and Saturday night at Whole Foods (also more apples— we are in an apple era), did a random Target run, bought wine and coffee, and paid for Coop’s bday party (lunch for 10, plus golf for 10).

Sunday: $305

Target: $124 (random cleaning stuff, some prepackaged snacks and Naked Juice smoothies for after school/ pre-sports, random grooming products from all the bathrooms— I add what’s running low to my online cart when I am cleaning)

Metro Market: $178 (groceries— only cheap because I spent a million dollars at Trader Joe’s on Saturday before I started “not spending.”)

Google $3: I ran out of storage and had to up my plan real fast

Monday: NOTHING!!

Tuesday: $70

Whole Foods: $30 (none of this was essential except for a $7 gallon of milk. I was just killing time until the Amazon return station opened but then the person was late and I ended up using the self-serve kiosk which I could have done at the outset and not bought anything)

Culver’s: $21 (we all got kiddie meals— Culver’s broccoli is better than their fries)

Target: $9 (Naked Juice and face masks. LOL)

Car wash: $10 (forgot I was not spending)

Wednesday: $15

Copay at the doctor’s office: $15

Thursday: $70

Mobil: $4 (gum)

Greenbush: $37 (donuts for a work meeting)

Target: $29 (assorted bullshit and also Cheez-It’s for Minnie)

Friday: NOTHING!!!!!

I did have a PSL, but I used points!

Saturday: $71

Mobil: $51 (gas)

Amazon: $20 (ballet shoes for a certain someone who most definitely lost hers)

Grand total: $537 (but this includes groceries!!)

I want to beat this number for the week ahead— and by not getting my car washed, trolling the aisles at Whole Foods, and buying donuts, I am pretty sure I can… Ben is also tracking what he spends this week, too, since I am pretty sure he out-spent me last week, and I know he has about $150 worth of pressed shirts and dry cleaned suits to pick up. ON THE OTHER HAND, I think groceries will cost more this week. But! If I can avoid the midweek shops, then maybe not?** 

I think I need more immediate rewards. Like, we need to do something I can see with extra money each week— stuff it in an envelope under the mattress maybe? (KIDDING). Also extra money LOL— Harry’s tuition is due this month, and dance just sent their September bill. THERE IS NO EXTRA MONEY, silly.

Minnie now wears last year’s Costco holiday finery any old day— love that for her.

**Between the food portions of my Target runs, the wine and coffee store, Hyvee, and Whole Foods, I am pretty sure groceries clocked in around the $600 mark…I think it is better to spend more on the big weekly shop because every time I go out for “one quick thing” it becomes also lots of random stuff, too. BUT ALSO, groceries just sort of cost what they cost, and I don’t expect to really save in this category.






Friday, September 20, 2024

5 on a Friday: COMPLETELY RANDOM (38/52)

1. FALL ROUTINES

As a total dork, I love fall routines even more than spectacular upsets and pumpkin muffins and apple orchards. There is something so comforting about kids sitting down to do their homework after a feral summer, you know? (As you can tell by her super sincere smile, this is also Dorothy’s favorite fall thing LOL)
The evening pick ups are… maybe as hectic as I feared. BUT. Summer weather is sticking around, and it is fun to play outside while we wait for kids. I am always a little worried about dark nights and winter driving, but I am keeping my shit as together as I can.




2. LAST PRESCHOOL WELCOME BACK NIGHT

Minnie’s preschool does a welcome back night with a children’s performer and a snow cone truck, and last year we didn’t tell Minnie about it, and her wonderful teacher also did not mention it. This year, I planned more of the same, but Minnie’s new wonderful teacher did mention it, and Minnie was bursting to tell me “THE EXCITING NEWS” at pick up, so we… made it work. Thankfully Jack could  drive Dorothy to dance from school and pick her up, and the two of them had… something… for dinner at home while Minnie and I went straight to her school after dive drop off, and she enjoyed a picnic. PHEW!



Just like that, I am nostalgic for a thing I didn’t even want to attend.

3. SNACK DRAMZ

In sad news, we only had Annie’s cheddar bunnies, Annie’s white cheddar bunnies, and goldfish crackers— NO CHEEZ-ITS. Minnie stayed under the kitchen mat lamenting for quite awhile. At one point she was like WITHOUT CHEEZ ITS MY DREAM WON’T COME TRUE. I said oh, what’s your dream, and she replied in a very aggrieved tone, WELL IT’S ABOUT CHEEZ ITS,
(Ben picked her up from school the next day with a snack bowl of freshly procured Cheez It’s at the ready. She has happily resumed playing super hero guys)


4. Some random snaps from a random week

(We keep almost but not quite getting our fall groove on. Like, last week, dance hadn’t started yet. This week, I had a meeting all day on Thursday and Friday, so Ben had to shift his WFH days, and our driving duties were not standard, etc)

Summer weather means parks every day, and we are loving it.

This is really al you need to know about us:
We were out of chocolate covered pretzels, so Cooper took matters into his own hands.
I love coming across evidence of Minnie being Minnie:

Bem living that 2020 Zoom fashion life


5. Mood:






 

Wednesday, September 18, 2024

Anxiety is WILD

 Now that my anxiety flare is largely behind me (TWO NIGHTS OF NOT SLEEPING, much assuming I was suffering from something new and fatal, lots of just being an asshole to everyone around me), can I just say ANXIETY IS WILD.

 I adore Stephany’s post about panic attacks because her description is SO GOOD. Like, you know that your feelings and thoughts are not accurate, but you absolutely cannot stop them. EVEN KNOWING that it is a garbage thought train coming straight for you,YOU CANNOT HELP BUT JUMP ON. Or jump in front of it maybe is more accurate?

I am on a not fucking around antibiotic, and it gradually gave me really awful nausea and headaches and a bit of dizziness. But! The onset of all of these things was gradual, especially since I was expecting an upset stomach because that’s usually how antibiotics work for me. Anyway, the other day, my nausea and headaches really ramped up and I honest to god immediately diagnosed myself with a brain tumor and started, like, imagining how I would tell the kids and get through my diagnostic MRI with my claustrophobia. WHAT THE FUCK, BRAIN?

And the truly shitty thing is that I BELIEVED THIS REALITY.

I was like OMG I feel queasy when I am reading with my glasses on. The tumor must be pushing on my optic nerve and my vision is getting worse! OMG I feel nauseous in the morning. THIS IS CLEARLY BRAIN CANCER. OMG my head hurts so bad I have to take Tylenol for literally the third time in 3 years (I almost never take pills of any kind) THIS MUST BE THE END.

Anyway, like a switch being flipped, I feel better (anxiety-wise— I just took my last abx dose today, so still feel a little queasy), and it’s SO WEIRD. Like, clearly, anxiety is a chemical thing not just a mind-over-matter situation.

Last week, when I was feeling really jittery and anxious, I was so worried that my acupuncturist left the room to call 9-1-1 because my pulse was so fast (PULSES UNREMARKABLE. SHE WAS GETTING A POST-IT TO PUT ON MY SHIRT TO REMEMBER TO TAKE THE NEEDLE OUT OF MY CHEST). And then at the end, after she took the needles out, she pressed on my wrists, and I was like OMG ARE MY PULSES OK (acupuncture says pulses, not pulse **shrug**), and she was like IDK, I am just wiping a little blood. But I was already PANICKING in both of these situations. What the hell? Also, you guys, speaking of panic: Can you imagine leaving the clinic and going on your merry little way and then, like, happening to glance down at yourself only to see a NEEDLE STICKING OUT OF YOUR CHEST?! Thank goodness she left for a post-it.

ANYWAY. I talked to my doctor today and got some meds that I can take when I feel too freaked out. And also Xanax for the big stuff. And! I am starting talk therapy, too. NOT THE ESTROGEN BATH I WAS HOPING FOR, but good, I think.

Other things:


Dance szn:


Her goal is to be able to do with weird leg lift all the time
Minnie and I have been LOVING the park. All of the parks.


And! Even though she doesn’t start dance until next month, her tap shoes came in, and we picked them up while Dorothy had class and OMG SO CUTE









Monday, September 16, 2024

NO SPEND WEEEEEEEK

 I don’t know about you all, but for us, the beginning of the school year is SO EXPENSIVE. Every time I turn around, someone needs clothes or shoes or shoes for a specific activity or that one more supply on the list, etc etc etc. SO. This week! We are not buying ANYTHING. Well, erm, anything EXCEPT:

  • Gas
  • Dinner out for Ben on Tuesday
  • Dinner out for me and the girls on Tuesday
  • Pizza of some kind for pizza Friday
  • Grocery needs that might arise (this one is a slippery slope, though, because I can spend A TON on specialty groceries and “need” is subjective)
CAN WE DO IT? Yes, I am sure we can. Will we like it? Probably not.

And you might be thinking DINNER OUT, is that not totally counter to the idea of a no spend week? I mean, yes. And I guess I could pack us a picnic to eat between dive drop off and Dorothy's one and only 45 minute dance team class of the night, but I think not dealing with all of that is money well spent. Last week, even though dance hadn’t started yet, she had a photo session in that same window of time and we ate Mod Pizza at the dance studio, and it was so easy and low stress. And I need more easy, low stress things in my life.







Friday, September 13, 2024

5 on a Friday: Cheap Thrills (37/52)

 Here are 5 things under $40 that I love lately.

1. Clinique green sunscreen and primer: At $31, this stuff is saving my face from whatever weird red stuff is going on with it, and I would pay MUCH MORE. 

2. Owala travel coffee mug: No yucky metal taste (like the Yeti— I hate how Yetis make my coffee taste) and an excellent lid that’s super easy to drink from. LOVE IT. (Also it is SO CUTE).

3. Target Brightroom storage cart: Harry got one for his dorm room, and when Jack and Coop started sharing the downstairs bathroom (Coop moved from the one Dorothy and Minnie share to downstairs so we have 2 people per bathroom), I got one for him and Jack to store their grooming products in, and they stash it in the storage room across the hall and just roll it into the bathroom to use. Probably we should just replace the mirror in there with a medicine cabinet, but until then… (I can’t handle things left out on counters in a bathroom or bathroom shelves either— things get dusty and then the dust gets sticky and YUCK. ONLY hand soap on bathroom counters for me thanks.)

4. SMALL water bottles. I have been lugging around 40 ounces of water for years now, but Dorothy and I recently SIZED DOWN in water bottles, and I really like a smaller, lighter option, too. (Minnie uses the 20 oz Stanley and also an Owala kids— she loves them both).

5. A new leo to kick off the dance season! Of all the choices at her studio’s cute little shop, Minnie settled on… plain white.



Thursday, September 12, 2024

Marigolds!

 I took the most beautiful walk at work the other day. I was on campus for HOURS and had a bunch of solitary tasks to complete. I set timers to do pomodoros, but I needed to get out of my office for awhile, and it was hard to pass up 78 and sunny.

It was lovely especially because I have been feeling very anxious lately for no reason. Like, al of the sudden out of nowhere, my stomach feels like I am on a roller coaster. I think I have been too long without acupuncture and massage. I kept rescheduling appointments as I ran out of time to juggle everything with limited Minnie care after her camp ended. So! Last week I had an awesome massage (trigger points— a style I do not usually like a ton because I am looking for more relaxation BUT this one was incredible, and I could feel the tension leaving my muscles. I expected my neck and shoulders and right hip to feel tense and need release, but even my ARMS were tense, apparently because feeling the muscles let go was wonderful), and this week I see my acupuncturist. And I have appointments scheduled through the end of the year. THAT I WILL KEEP, DAMNIT.

This morning, I decided to reframe the anxiety as EXTRA ENERGY, and so far, my brain is liking that frame, and I got in an extra 1/4 mile in my usual time on the elliptical, even though I had a dream that I was having a heart attack and woke up with a pounding heart and another large chunk of my brain pretty sure that’s happening in real life and why I feel anxious. ANXIETY. YOU ARE THE WORST.

We went to the Pekin Marigold Festival on Saturday, and it was an absolutely delight. We hung out with my best friend since FIRST GRADE and one of her delightful daughters and friend. 10/10 would recommend and will be back next year!

Ice cream at our favorite place:

Filthy carnival rides:
MISS MARIGOLD!!!! (I was Miss Marigold in 1996, and it was the highlight of my life up that point— I always wanted to be the girl in the crown and the sash at the Fest and parade, and I WAS, so I was over the moon when Minnie wanted to meet the current Miss M)
Downtown Pekin has this lovely marigold mural as part of its Juneteenth memorial, and it was the closest I got to taking a picture of the actual parade.
Ice cream hilarity (Minnie had so much fun sitting with the big girls)
Stunting

Oh, Dorothy
Hijinks
If there is one thing I love more than a dirty carnival midway
It is a dirty carnival midway that has limited no smoking areas
Listen, I took a lot of pictures at the ice cream place, OK???
Us again
More stunting
Little marigolds (and Everett Dirksen, Pekin’s favorite senator).